I feel that it is my duty to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that I myself would have expected God to at least listen to my side of the story. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Before I leave this issue, let me share an interesting finding from a recent poll: Four out of five people surveyed contend that his hired goons merely present their allegations as though they were true, a technique known as a "conclusory" or "Kierkegaardian" leap. I'm indubitably afraid of logorrheic illogical students. Most of us maintain that he is extremely fanaticism-oriented. God's secret agents have already started to make incorrect leaps of logic. The result: absolute vapidity, disgraceful and gruesome cacophony, lack of personality, monotony, and boredom. Your guess is as good as mine as to why God wants to deploy enormous resources in a war of attrition against helpless citizens. Still, I honestly find that cranky ignoramuses are no different from perverted careless-types.

Undoubtedly, some of his grievances raise important questions about future social interactions and their relationship to civil liberties. I mean, "unprofessional" is his middle name. Like I said, I really feel that it needs to be taken into account that some time ago, in the aftermath of God's last volley of attacks, a group of filthy profiteers began to cause the destruction of human ambition and joy. God's choleric loquacious fantasy fits neatly into his morally-questionable model of society. In the past, people like God would have been tarred and feathered for trying to demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. He can blame me for the influx of sullen poltroons if it makes him feel better, but it won't help his cause any.

At first, he just wanted to reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals. Then, God tried to lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity. Who knows what he'll do next? The important point here is not that flattery will get God nowhere. The vital matter is that for every dollar we spend to better our communities, God'll spend a thousand more to torment, harry, and persecute saturnine ignominious thought police. Given the callow political rhetoric of our times, at least 80 percent of the people in this country recognize that he makes it his job to yield this country to the forces of darkness, oppression, and tyranny. At this point, all I can do is repeat a line from my previous letter: "I take seriously the view that the God Foundation's latest report on splenetic deceitful deconstructionism is filled with fabrications, half-truths, innuendo, and guilt by association". He will hate me for saying this, but it remains to be seen if he will insult my intelligence any day now. Aside from the fact that I am merely pointing out what I have observed, by excluding any possibility of comparison, he can easily pass off his own actions as works of genius. Accordingly, his ideals are often disregarded merely as socially-inept and are consequently not treated as the serious assaults on liberty and freedom that they truly are. God confuses demagoguery with leadership and undocumented conspiracism with serious research. As a parting thought, remember that the best way to comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to turn once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard is to eschew crafty Stalinism.

  • First and foremost, Wildsong promises to do away with all of that "Thou shalt not covet" nonsense. This is a new millennium, and like the fine leader that he is, Wildsong knows that it's time to leave behind the old prejudices and outdated worldviews to which his opponent has clung so tenaciously.
  • Wildsong vows to make a difference. He will cause the politicians to lower taxes on pain of smiting.
  • Wildsong promises to add another sabbath. The work week is hard enough as it is, and Wildsong's loyal voters deserve more of a holiday than God has been giving them.
  • Wildsong promises to overturn God's blatantly unfair policies with regard to the differently-abled voters. No more "All men are created equal!" It's time that someone recognised the special needs of the citizens of this fair theocracy! All men are not created equal, and this blatant attempt to ignore the special needs citizens must not be allowed to continue!
  • In a brilliant and original campaign to feed the world's homeless, Wildsong will send his own son provide food for the masses.
  • In order to stop the fighting in the middle east, Wildsong vows to declare Paris the new Holy Land. It's time for the French to be persecuted for a while.
  • As his first move, Wildsong will appoint an entirely new cabinet. The John Paul II is far too old to be serving the public interest.
  • Wildsong vows to cut spending. God has built himself many houses with tithepayers' money, and It's Time For A Change!TM
The Book Of Lies

Campaign promises God never intended to keep. Does he deserve your faith in his administrative abilities after distributing such a packet of blatant lies clearly intended to last only until election time?

God's utterances have a crippling effect on science and technology.
Just because anti-democratic faddism exists and has for a long time, there is no reason for us to accept it from God.
I am familiar with God's goals, I understand how he operates, I have long recognized his tactics, and I know just about where God now stands on the ladder to total power.

Spread the word, and together we can elect Wildsong for god!

If you wish to learn more about my speech writer, click here.