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| I was reading the local TV Week, and there was an article on Tyne Daly (Lacey from Cagney & Lacey; Maxine from Judging Amy) in her current show, which I made the mistake of reading. Aside from all of the other self-righteous stuff that was in there, there was this, and I quote:
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"I've always wanted to be old. I'm interested in playing old ladies because I'm becoming one. And I want to be a very good one! To display my actual face, my actual belly, my real legs, my real hair in television is doing some kind of service in a world where women are constantly being told there's something wrong with us. We have been designed in this culture to be fixed up. You want us to be taller, thinner, to have bigger bosoms, smaller hips, larger lips. You men have always been jealous of us because we have the babies and you don't."
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Now, would I be out of line if I asked what the FUCK?? What's all this you men stuff? You can't judge people by their gender rather than their personal merits... that's what the whole freakin' feminist movement was about. And to group all men together simply because they all have a Y-chromosome is as blatantly sexist as not allowing women to vote. Yes, ok, men in general do want women to conform to their standards of beauty, but women are just the same. Maybe with women it's not about physical appearance but personality, but that's just as bad. How many women have said "Men are pigs" because men in general don't suit their particular desires about what an ideal man should be? Yet men don't go around whining to interviewers about it. Most men either ignore it and go on being themselves, or they try to conform to the women's views, and that's even worse than changing physically. Now don't get me wrong... I have no time for testosterone-oozing guys with their muscle cars and their sports and whatever, but it's just as bad to ask them to change who they are inside as it is to ask a woman to change who she is outside. It's just another example of the double standard that exists today. Yes, for the longest time everything was man-centered, which isn't really surprising if you look at our history as a species... the strongest guy in the tribe wins, right? Men are almost always stronger than women, so men get to be the boss. (and men are generally more aggressive, too.) I'm not saying it's right, but we are steadily growing out of it, even if it did take the feminist revolution of the 60's. But these days, the pendulum has swung the other way, and women can do no wrong. Now everything a man does can be taken as sexist, and the witch-hunt is on. When I was at University, I noticed that there was a women's center, but I couldn't see a men's center. And when I asked about it, the person laughed at me. "The whole world's a men's center," she said, but that's so not true. Everywhere you look it's women this and women that... Ladies Only Fitness, Women's Television Network, etc. But the old gentlemen's clubs of last century have to be closed down because they are sexist. Does this sound fair? Not bloody likely! I'm not saying that it's bad to have women-centered things, but it is bad to demand that all of the men-centered stuff get shut down, just as it's bad to discriminate on the basis of gender, which is exactly what's happening now in the name of equal rights. When the printer in the Women's Center broke down, no one knew how to fix it, so they sent for a tech from the computer lab, with the explicit instruction that the tech had to be female. Does that sound like equal rights? I believe totally in equality, but not discrimination, and that's what the feminists want these days. It's no longer about equality, it's about dominance. Sexism is discrimination on the basis of gender, and it doesn't matter which gender. And the most common argument is "Well women have been repressed for years and it's their turn." Huh? Most of the women who are making so much noise about it today weren't even around during that time... they've been brought up by their mothers, who were, to hate men for the things their fathers did to them. The result is that innocent guys like me, who have never repressed anyone in their lives, get pushed around and treated like smeg because of something our ancestors did. Does that sound fair? How can I be held accountable for my ancestors' behaviour? This is affirmative action?? What's wrong with you people?
And while I'm at it, what's this nonsense about jealousy because women have babies and men don't? I've never wanted to be pregnant in my life. That whole inflating like a beachball and getting sick every morning (among other things) really doesn't appeal to me... never mind the 20 hours labour to get rid of the thing. The whole idea makes me rather uncomfortable, to be honest... too parasitic. A tapeworm hatches inside you and grows and feeds on you... and so does a baby. Ok, it's a bit different, but still.. ick. The very idea sends unpleasant shivers down my spine, and most guys I know feel the same. The idea of having something growing inside me makes my skin crawl... like something out of a nasty horror movie. I mean, my body isn't exactly a temple, but there's only room for me in here. I've never met a man who wanted to have a baby. Besides which, it's not possible without the male contribution, so why should men be jealous? And what exactly does that have to do with wanting women to look a certain way? How does wanting someone to conform to your particular taste in beauty reflect jealousy over something as unpleasant as pregnancy? Pathetic sexist babble.
And yet there are women out there who believe this stuff.
"You want us to be taller, thinner, to have bigger bosoms, smaller hips, larger lips. You men have always been jealous of us because we have the babies and you don't."
And you have always wanted us to be taller, leaner, more muscular, with wider shoulders and broader chests. You want us to be dangerous and exciting, while at the same time wanting us to be warm and sensitive and romantic. But then, that's because you women have always been jealous of us because you suffer from penis envy, right? Doesn't it sound just as ridiculous that way 'round?
But honestly, how many men ever measure up to the ideal? Look at the covers of the incredibly popular romance novels, and then look at the men around you. Do you think they don't notice? How many times have you commented to a friend that someone like Pierce Brosnan was "so hot" or Sean Connery was "so sexy" even while your boyfriend/husband was there. And men are the insensitive ones, are they? How do you think he felt, knowing that he can never be that to you, that he can never be everything that you want? How many women are going to take Jimmy Olsen over Superman? I mean, take
me, for example. 5'7 or 5'8, ugly as hell, and sensitive and romantic, into Shakespeare and candlelight and smokey, sultry music that you can't really dance to. So I'm too short, not good looking enough, and not dangerous or exciting enough. And I'm deluged with images of the perfect man, in all of his incarnations, and not one of them is anything like me. But, and this is important, wherever you look in the movies, in books, or on TV, there is no one perfect woman. Female heros and love interests and sex symbols come in all shapes and sizes, from Kate Moss to Camryn Manheim, while male models and love interests are cookie cutter perfect, and all the same. Take away Banderas's hair, and you've got another Russell Crowe. And that's not all women, of course, but then dear Tyne's comment wasn't directed to all men. I think. Maybe it was, and she's worse than I thought. And I don't want you to get the impression that I hate women. Most of my friends are women. Ok, all of my friends are women, just about. Maybe I'm whining. I don't know. It's just the infuriating double standard that gets to me. If you have a Y chromosome, you're guilty. Of everything. You aren't a person, you're a threat. What happened to equality? What happened to judging people on a case by case basis?
I could go on about this a lot longer, but I only have so much space on my server. The worst part is, someone out there is going to read this and brand me a sexist pig.
And now for a history lesson on the subject:
The idealized woman's shape did not come from men, it came from women. In the 1920's, after the war, women started taking more initiative, working and becoming more independant. The result was that, with women having more freedom, they took more of an interest in themselves for the sake of themselves, and also because there were fewer men around (since the war had killed so many of them off.) they had to work much harder to compete with each other. And with this self interest came an interest in physical fitness. Suddenly women were taking aerobics classes, lifting weights, competing in sports and generally being far more outgoing than they had been. It was the era of the Flappers, and perfection of the body became more of a concern for women. As a result, they started pushing themselves harder and harder to achieve the figures they wanted, and this new appearance was much approved of by the men (after a while, when it became clear that they didn't have much of a choice). Women started to push the limits of what was considered decency, reducing the size of their bathing suits and the lengths of their skirts. They cut their hair short and wore much more makeup than they had before, and this defiance caught the interest of the younger men, and the horror of the older ones. So women pushed this change in themselves, the size and shape of their various attributes, and the style of their clothing. Women came up with the idealized figure toward which they strive. Just look at women throughout history before the Flappers. The Idealized woman was not tanned and toned as she is today, she was soft and voluptuous, with wide hips and lots of curves because to men, that was sexy. Women push themselves harder and further than men do, more now than then, and they push each other.(The Flappers, Women's Television Network special. Note the Women's part) Men want women to be sexy, but women want women to be perfect. Ask any man.. sex appeal isn't necessarily about shape... it's mostly about confidence and manner, and these days women who are not the ideal shape are usually not confident in themselves, so they aren't as sexy. Also, women who are interested in sex are more sexy (obviously) but a woman's lack of confidence in herself can get in the way, and then she can't enjoy sex, so she's not as interested, and therefore not as interesting. (The Sex Files, The Learning Channel) Which is all fine and well, but don't blame it on the men!
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