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Ha! I have evidence that I come by my attitude honestly. :) My mother recently received the Nigerian letter scam message, but while most people just delete it, she actually responded. Her responses are in red, his in blue. Check it out:
BUSINESS ASSISTANCE.
DEAR SIR,
I AM A CITIZEN OF ZAIRE, SON OF THE LATE FORMER
PRESIDENT OF ZAIRE (PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE SEKO) SINCE
THE DEATH OF MY LATE FATHER SOME YEARS AGO I HAVE BEEN
RESIDING IN NIGERIA ON TEMPORARY POLITICAL ASYLUM. ON
MY ARRIVAL IN NIGERIA AFTER MY LATE FATHER'S BURIAL, I
CAME INTO NIGERIA WITH A DIPLOMATIC PACKAGED
CONSIGNMENTS CONTAINING THE SUM OF $12,000,000.00
(TWELVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) WHICH I GOT
FROM PART OF THE MONEY MY LATE FATHER MADE THROUGH
DIAMONDS SALES WHEN HE WAS THE PRESIDENT OF ZAIRE FOR
ABOUT 32 YEARS. PRECISELY, SINCE MY ARRIVAL WITH THE
DIPLOMATIC PACKAGED CONSIGNMENT IT HAS BEEN SAFELY
KEPT WITH A SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN NIGERIA
MOREOVER,I DO NOT WANT TO INVEST THIS MONEY IN ANY
PART OF AFRICA DUE TO THE CONSTANT POLITICAL
INSTABILITY IN AFRICA.MY PLAN IS TO USE THIS MONEY TO
INVEST IN A PROFITABLE BUSINESS IN ANY PART OF THE
WORLD APART FROM AFRICA, ALSO TO PURCHASE A
RESIDENTIAL ACCOMMODATION. I WILL COME OVER AND SETTLE
THERE WITH MY FAMILY. HENCE,I AM SOLICITING FOR YOUR
ASSISTANCE AS MY FOREIGN PARTNER TO RECEIVE THIS MONEY
ON MY BEHALF ON ARRIVAL ABROAD AND TO KEEP IT INA SAFE
PLACE PENDING MY ARRIVAL TO JOIN YOU UP. UPON THE
RECEIPT OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO MY PROPOSAL, I CAN
IMMEDIATELY ARRANGE FOR THE MONEY TOLEAVE NIGERIA IN
YOUR FAVOUR (i.e. AS THE BENEFICIARY) FOR ONWARD
MOVEMENT TO WHERE YOU CAN RECEIVE THE CONSIGNMENT.
PLEASE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST ME, DO SEND IN
YOUR REPLY IMMEDIATELY BASED ON THE FOLLOWING: -
(1) WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THIS AMOUNT DO YOU INTEND TO
COLLECT FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO
EXPRESS YOUR MIND,
(2) INCLUDE YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO
ENHANCE THE CONFIDENTIALITY,WHICH THIS BUSINESS
DEMANDS.
I SHALL INFORM YOU WITH NEXT LINE OF ACTION AS SOON AS
I RECEIVE YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE. 10% OF THE TOTAL
MONEY WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXTRA EXPENDITURE. I
ASSURE YOU THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY BLOW BACK.
YOUR URGENT REPONSE THROUGH MY E-MAIL WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED.
BEST REGARDS,
ETOH MOBUTU
Send me $25,000 US in a certified cheque and we'll talk.
Thank you for your response. Sending $25,000 to you is not
a problem, but outside of the money that are in the
security company that I cannot touched, the remaining
money with me is the money I intend to spend to ensure a smooth transaction. I would have to pay for the chargse that the security company will be asking of. I will also have to pay for a new certificate on your behalf to effect a change of beneficiary to you.
I will gladly want you to assist me out of this
predicament. I have been through terrible times in this country and I would gladly appreciate your assistance. The information that I actually need to get started is for you to send you tel/fax number and your address to me so that I can apply for a change of beneficiary on your behalf. I have attached the picture of the money that I took before I lodged the boxes in a security outfit.
Kindly give this a thought and assist me. Also, you should inform me of how much you will be taking as your percentage for your assistance.
I await your response.
Best Regards,
Etoh Mobutu.
I understand. But the smooth transaction can only be accomplished by spending money, no? Therefore your $25,000 would be part of the amount you have set aside to 'ensure a smooth transacton'.
A certified cheque in this amount, once the money has cleared and is deposited in my account, will assure you of my continued interest.
Dear Ellie,
Thank you for your mail. What I meant in my last mail was
that I would not want to ask you for money to pay any of
the charges that the security company might ask of me. The money I have set aside is the money that I want to use to pay for a new certificate and pay for the airfreight of consignments out of Africa.
You will agree with me that it will be most unwise for me
to get stuck half way. maybe you will understand better if
we talk on the phone. Kindly email your phone number to me immediately.
Best Regards,
Etoh.
It seems that some of the monies you have set aside you have used for English lessons. You evince a dramatic improvement in the use of my language! What is your native tongue? Or, obviously, I should say was?
I am sorry to have contacted you. No hard feelings. i will look for someone else.
Etoh.
Bye then. It's been nice chatting.
Ah sarcasm. I love it. :)
Update: I just received a variant of the scam myself. It, along with my response, is posted here:
TUNDE & ASSOCIATES
FALOMO, IKOYI.
LAGOS - NIGERIA.
FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION,
I humbly crave your indulgence in sending you this mail, if the contents does not meet with your personal and business ethics, I apologize in advance. I am barrister Tunde Koka ( attorney at law), I represent Alhaji
Ishmaila Ibrahim Gwarzo’s estates. Alhaji Gwarzo was the chief security advicer of the then military leader of this country(Nigeria) in the person of Late General Sani
Abacha who died on the 8th of June 1998. With the advent of a new democratic dispensation in the country under the leadership of Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo (Rtd), my client has come under severe
persecution due to the sensitive position he held in the last military regime, presently he is under house arrest restricted only to the confines of his village. The main purpose of this mail is to intimate you of a business
proposal that might be of interest to you. My client has informed me of the existence of funds deposited with a security company abroad. This fund came about as part of security votes that were allocated to
my client's portfolio during his tenure as chief security advicer to the then president. What happened was that he had part of the funds transferred from the vaults of the Central Bank Of Nigeria to this security outfit with
the aim of purchasing arms and ammunitions for the personal security outfit of the then president. But before the purchase could take place the president died. My client has deceided to keep this for
himself as all his properties has been confisticated by the present regime. But due to his incarceration he cannot travel out and effect the change of possession to his benefit.
I have been mandated by my client to source for a foreign partner that can help him facilitate the change of possession. The deposit certificate and the code needed for theexecution of this endeavour
are in my possession. My client is also well disposed towards reaching an agreement with you that will be at par with the help required of you.
The funds in question is USD17.6M (Seventeen Million, Six Hundred Thousand United States dollars Only). Should this proposition be of interest to you,you can reach me through my e-mail address so that we
can go through the rudiments of this endeavour.
I remain most obliged.
Barrister Tunde Koka (JP).
Principal Partner.- TUNDE & Associates
There seems to be a lot of money being moved out of your country. Why, just yesterday I received this message:
DEAR SIR,
I AM A CITIZEN OF ZAIRE, SON OF THE LATE FORMER PRESIDENT OF ZAIRE (PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE SEKO) SINCE THE DEATH OF MY LATE FATHER SOME YEARS AGO I HAVE BEEN RESIDING IN NIGERIA ON TEMPORARY POLITICAL ASYLUM. ON MY ARRIVAL IN NIGERIA AFTER MY LATE FATHER'S BURIAL, I CAME INTO NIGERIA WITH A DIPLOMATIC PACKAGED CONSIGNMENTS CONTAINING THE SUM OF $12,000,000.00 (TWELVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) WHICH I GOT FROM PART OF THE MONEY MY LATE FATHER MADE THROUGH DIAMONDS SALES WHEN HE WAS THE PRESIDENT OF ZAIRE FOR ABOUT 32 YEARS. PRECISELY, SINCE MY ARRIVAL WITH THE DIPLOMATIC PACKAGED CONSIGNMENT IT HAS BEEN SAFELY KEPT WITH A SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN NIGERIA MOREOVER,I DO NOT WANT TO INVEST THIS MONEY IN ANY PART OF AFRICA DUE TO THE CONSTANT POLITICAL INSTABILITY IN AFRICA.MY PLAN IS TO USE THIS MONEY TO INVEST IN A PROFITABLE BUSINESS IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD APART FROM AFRICA, ALSO TO PURCHASE A RESIDENTIAL ACCOMMODATION. I WILL COME OVER AND SETTLE THERE WITH MY FAMILY. HENCE,I AM SOLICITING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AS MY FOREIGN PARTNER TO RECEIVE THIS MONEY ON MY BEHALF ON ARRIVAL ABROAD AND TO KEEP IT INA SAFE PLACE PENDING MY ARRIVAL TO JOIN YOU UP. UPON THE RECEIPT OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO MY PROPOSAL, I CAN IMMEDIATELY ARRANGE FOR THE MONEY TOLEAVE NIGERIA IN YOUR FAVOUR (i.e. AS THE BENEFICIARY) FOR ONWARD MOVEMENT TO WHERE YOU CAN RECEIVE THE CONSIGNMENT. PLEASE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST ME, DO SEND IN YOUR REPLY IMMEDIATELY BASED ON THE FOLLOWING: -
(1) WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THIS AMOUNT DO YOU INTEND TO COLLECT FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS YOUR MIND,
(2) INCLUDE YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ENHANCE THE CONFIDENTIALITY,WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS.
I SHALL INFORM YOU WITH NEXT LINE OF ACTION AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE. 10% OF THE TOTAL MONEY WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXTRA EXPENDITURE. I ASSURE YOU THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANY BLOW BACK. YOUR URGENT REPONSE THROUGH MY E-MAIL WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED.
BEST REGARDS,
ETOH MOBUTU
Perhaps you should contact Etoh Mobutu to see whether he found a practical way of shipping his twelve million out of your country. I'm sorry to hear that you're having difficulties. For your benefit, I have forwarded your message, along with your IP address, to the various international authorities that take an interest in such matters. I'm certain that you will hear from them in short order.
regards
-wildsong
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