thanks for choosing god.



speaking of scams...
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.











WANTED
19 November 2003 : 15.47
And now, a letter to georgie bush jr. on his trip to England, from Mickey, aged 12:
Dear George,

I would just like to say how much I hate you. You have done nothing positive in your whole time as president. You are the reason for the poverty in the Middle East. You have no idea what you are doing. You're killing loads of people, and that is not excluding your own nation too. There are still lots of very poor people in America, and they are getting poorer.

You keep making excuses about Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, but all you were in Iraq for was the oil. Saddam had been there for 30 years, so why is it only now you decided to act? You keep talking about September 11 when all you do is bomb other countries and give Israel lots of money. It is a very bad idea that you have come over here.

I don't want to grow up in a country which is so influenced by you and your policies.
Mickey (12)

From the mouths of babes, huh?





Violently-Happy.net
16 ovember 2003 : 18.22
And now, the parable of the billionaire:

[ahem]
Suppose a man walks up to you and says "I'm a billionaire."
You say "Prove it."
He says "ok", and tells you how he met this wonderful person who promised him riches gallore.
You say "Who is this person?"
He says "Well I really didn't meet him, but rather heard about it..."
You say "Why should I believe that you're going to get these riches?"
"Because he gave me proof" he says.
"Can you show me?"
He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a slip of paper. On the paper it says: "IOU 1 billion dollars. Redeemable upon death - J.C."
You're still skeptical. 'What does that prove?', you ask.
"I'M A BILLIONAIRE" he states loudly (obviously annoyed that you would question him). He points out that it was signed and stamped, "Do you believe me now?"




16 November 2003 : 13.47
RESUME

George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

a.. LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

b.. MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

c.. COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

a.. I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

b.. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

c.. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

d.. With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:

a.. I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

b.. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

c.. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

d.. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

e.. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

a.. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

b.. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

c.. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

d.. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

e.. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

f.. I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

g.. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

h.. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

i.. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster" which is by definition a WMD.

j.. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

k.. I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

l.. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

m.. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

n.. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

o.. I set the record for the fewest number of press-conferences of any President since the advent of television.

p.. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

q.. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

r.. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

s.. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

t.. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

u.. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

v.. I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

w.. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

x.. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

y.. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

z.. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

aa.. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

ab.. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

ac.. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

ad.. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

ae.. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

af.. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

ag.. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

ah.. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

a.. All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

b.. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

c.. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.


Please consider my experience when voting in 2004.




13 November 2003 : 15.49
And in religious news this week:

We're winning!
We're winning!





Gently place both of your hands here.
09 November 2003 : 14.47
Do you think that she has the slightest idea of what that shirt says?

Once again, so glad that I don't live in america.
Land of the free indeed. Feh.

Rather glad I don't live in Singapore, too, come to that.

In other news, Jessica Lynch has something to say. And say it she does. Yay her. :)




Violently-Happy.net
08 November 2003 : 16.49
Most excellent.

I'm building a radio controlled rat for the panto. His name is Basil, of course.
He's built on a small radio controlled car, with a rubber rat stuck over the top. His eyes consist of ultra-bright red LEDs which are powered when the motor engages, meaning that they go on and off depending upon whether he's moving. They're so bright that you can't look directly at them.
Yay.. the car can do 5 kmph, which means that this is a fast freaking rat.




Heh heh heh... yes, it's a Hallowe'en costume.
31 October 2003 : 13.01
Why on earth do they say "Happy Hallowe'en" when it's supposed to be scary?

Anyway, here's something to play with in the mean time.

And now, I have a brutal headache. And I'm supposed to go to a party tonight. Feck.




How incredibly adorable this little guy is..
30 October 2003 : 18.44
Meanwhile, in other news: Awwww!





30 October 2003 : 14.39
Lots of email complaints at the moment. They go like this:

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AND I WANT A CREDIT

A credit? You can have a credit when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

So you know that a show has made an impression when you find yourself dreaming of providing email technical support for a British farce.
How the hell does one provide technical support for a British farce?
Hmm. Perhaps this is a revolutionary new step in customer service. The world is littered with examples of genius at work. The Earl of Sandwich invented the sandwich. Samuel Morse invented the Morse Code. Plato invented the plate. Perhaps theatrical support is the next step.
Speaking of which, the new website of The Raymond Burr Performing Arts Centre is up.




Go Wheaton.
29 October 2003 : 18.18
Now this isn't obvious at all, is it?

Keep in mind that Dick Cheney was chief executive of Halliburton for five years, and still has significant ties to them. Ties that guarantee him a lot of money if the company does well.

But it's not about oil.

Wait, it gets better...
I like that Halliburton is getting support to import petroleum products and cement into Iraq. This is the same Iraq whose two biggest exports are petroleum products and cement. Still, I like this post: How much is a billion?

A billion...

A billion seconds ago -- it was 1959.

A billion minutes ago -- Jesus was alive.

A billion hours ago -- our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

A billion dollars ago -- with Bush's deficit spending -- was 8 hours and 20 minutes.




with arms wide open...
29 October 2003 : 16.07
Wow, I didn't realise that we had discovered an actual Black Hole. I haven't been following the stories. Wow. A Black Hole. The only thing in the universe that sucks more than Creed.

In case you're not familiar with Black Holes, let me explain: A Black Hole is the result of a star collapsing in on itself. It becomes a tiny point of matter with incredible gravity, so incredible that it actually warps space-time. The result is a funnel that consumes everything within range. Picture a really big Jennifer Lopez, that's the kind of thing we're talking about here. And at the heart of the Black Hole there's a point so small that it's governed by quantum mechanics, but so incredibly dense that it is unquestionably governed by gravity. So it's the point at which Unified Field theory becomes a reality in String theory.
A tiny, but incredibly dense point, existing in a vacuum. It's the astronomical equivalent of bush's brain.

And now, Izzardisms

Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, "arararar", and occasionally, they stop and go, oh, uh, ah, as if they're going, "Did I leave the gas on? No I'm, no, I'm a fucking squirrel!" And occasionally they go, "Fucking nuts! Fed up with them always. I long for a grapefruit."




Looks like a Tardis to me.
26 October 2003 : 16.38
Fire alarm chime going off in the building. Either that, or it's eighty-five o'clock.




Cutest error I've ever seen.
24 Octorber 2003 : 16.24
Wow.. my local cable company is going to be partnering with Microsoft to provide the new version of the onscreen guide for digital cable.

I can see it now:


WARNING!

A fatal exception 0E has occurred at 002B:C00069FB in channel VMM(01) 008059F8. The current program will be terminated.

  • Press any key on your remote control to continue.
  • Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to restart your digital cable terminal. Good luck finding them on your remote.

    Press any key to continue _




  • So, the last Concorde landed in London today. It's a shame.. I mean, it's good that they're grounded. Really nothing good came from them. The noise must have been murder on the wildlife, they were expensive, etc. But it's kind of a shame to see them come to an end. Beautiful planes. There was always something special about them, over and above every other plane in the sky. I think so, anyway.

    In other news: Awww.. I wanna shoot the seperatists. With Bouchard as the big boss bad guy at the end. One legged Mad Dog Luciene Bouchard.
    Fucking mook. "Ah want to separate de Quebec from de Ganada, but ah steel wan to clem ma Gannedien pension when ah retiure."
    Honestly, what the hell would separating from Canada accomplish?
    Anyway, I like how Bloc Québécois MP Christiane Gagnon said the game hurts Quebec's international image. Funny. The Bloc Québécois has done that all by itself.




    23 October 2003 : 14.30
    So I'm sitting at work, working away, and the power and a/c goes off all at once. Most of the computers are on a UPS, of course, so I can still work, but it's different.
    work work work
    Suddenly the alarm starts. Ooh.. [bing!] [bing!] [bing!]
    Right. That's ok. Probably just a power outage. An accident or something.

    Next, the highly stressed voice of a security guard comes on: May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please. Will the real slim..

    No, wait, it was the other announcement. May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please. We are currently investigating a situation in the complex. Please standby for further instructions.

    Oh goodie. So there's lots of sitting around in relative darkness. You know, darkness resulting from having to rely entirely upon the sunlight streaming in through the windows, with nothing but emergency lighting to keep the scary shadows at bay.
    Four times the highly stressed security guy has come on so far to tell us to stand by for further instructions.

    Naturally, I blame the terrorists.
    It's probably just a bomb threat, and we're all going to die.

    Oh, speaking of which, more hatemail.




    technical bits
    16 October 2003 : 12.12
    They say that males have better hand-eye coordination and sense of spacial relations than females. I've been wondering about that. What I'm wondering is whether this is because males spend so much more time at things like sports. They play hockey, baseball, basketball, and so on, which can't help but improve the aforementioned senses. These days, more girls than before are involved in sports, but the idea that male spacial orientation is greater than female is an old one, and carries over from the days when sports were pretty much the province of the male of the species.

    Just installed the aluminium lock replacement for my iPaq. It's interesting, rummaging around inside a handheld PC. Lots of little fiddly bits.

    Yes, it is aluminium, not aluminum. Just as it's chromium, helium, zirconium, titanium.. and so on.




    12 October 2003 : 15.23
    Googlewhack!
    First try. Who's a sexy bitch?

    What the hell were these guys thinking? In-N-Out Burger? I mean really..
    You're selling meat products, and you're calling yourself In-N-Out?
    Mind you, could be a great ad campaign. "In-N-Out Burger. You can't beat our meat."
    I'm wasted in technical support.

    But apparently, I'm not the only one thinking along these lines. Look at the merchandising.
    I'm telling you.
    But when you go, ask them to double-bag.




    By the left frontal lobe of the sky demon!
    18.39
    Arr! I be Locu'us of Borg, matey! Lower yer shields and surrender yer bootie! Resistance be futile! Arr!

    Borg pirates. Popped into my head this morning as I was turning onto the road for my daily commute. An odd idea and as such, one which just goes to show that there are no original ideas left.
    (p.s.: disclaimer- I've no idea what's on that site, other than that it involves pirate Borg, because all I did was search on Google. I think it's a fanfiction page. Anything more than that, you're on your own.)
    (p.p.s.: arr.)




    Violently-Wealthy
    11 October 2003 : 16.42
    This is stupid. Not the game.. that's just silly. I mean the fact that there's a "Black Clergy of Philadelphia & Vicinity." Why the hell is there a black clergy, specifically? You want to talk about racially divisive, start in places like that.
    Unless, of course, the Black Clergy is like the Black Army. A secretive organisation of priests who run around covertly molesting small boys and then.. no, wait. That's the catholics.

    Glad to see the yankees getting some more colour on their money. That plain green and black ink look is so outdated. Just because money is functional doesn't mean that it has to be so ugly. Look at the money of the other countries of the world. Some of it is quite pretty.
    Mind you, it's not surprising. If you look at the american attempts to introduce some interesting currency, most of them folded pretty quickly. Which makes no sense, really. Why are the americans resistant to using coins? Coins are longer-lasting than bills, and more convenient because any machine can take them.. parking meters, vending machines, transit, etc. One and two dollar coins at the least. We have those here, and I can't imagine the hassle of trying to use bills. And because coins last longer, they're cheaper for the government to produce, which means that the government has more money to put toward other projects. Not a bad thing, I shouldn't thing.
    But tell me why, when the yankee government tried to produce money with tasteful nudity on it, people freaked out. Hello? What's wrong with that? It's just the female body, which is at once beautiful and commonplace. What's the fuss?


    My company is collecting for the foodbank, etc. One of those things where they ask that you donate tinned foods, etc, and baby supplies like baby food and diapers.
    Just a thought, but maybe if you're in need of food bank donations, maybe you shouldn't be having children. Put the hormones in check for a while and work on the whole starvation situation before generating larvae of your own to even further consume your food supply. Just a suggestion.
    I still say that people should have to apply for a license before they be permitted to breed.




    Violently-Happy.net
    10 October 2003 : 18.54
    Wow.. this is very cool. I'm glad that I live here now, and not in 1978.




    Ve vill crush ze Iraqis! america iss ze master race!
    09 October 2003 : 19.16
    Could it be? Could the american people be waking up?
    I doubt it. But it does look like the little bush empire might be about to crash around his ears. I particularly like this bit:
    "We're making great progress (in Iraq). I don't care what you read about,"

    Well, I'm convinced. He sounds like a child. A spoilt little child who's been caught in a lie. Which he has. And I have no doubt that he'll be the only one to really take the fall over it.
    Looking back at the hatemail I've received, and the posts that I read on Bushorchimp.com, I'm wondering how those supporters feel now. The ones who are intelligent enough to realise that they have been betrayed. Maybe the rest of the world was right when they said that he was a megalomaniacal imbecile not fit to lead ants to a picnic. And maybe, just maybe, all of those people who have died in Iraq, both Iraqi and american, have made that point. But somehow, I doubt it. I know that there are still enough idiots in america to make his bid for a second term a serious concern.
    It worries me that there are that many idiots on this planet. And that they might, they just might still have the majority.

    What worries me even more is that the people who actually pull the strings will get away with their little empire-building adventure. That they won't be brought to justice for their actions. So they can do it again with another dummy. I don't blame bush. He's a simpleton. An idiot. I'm certain, having watched him speak and seen his behaviour, and listened to the words he chooses when he's not reading a speech, that he's at least a little.. how can I put this? Slow. I don't think that he's all there. Not his fault. I think that he orders the invasion of smaller, mostly harmless countries because Cheney promises him a lollipop. That, and his dedicated faith in his god.

    Funny, that. Intelligence is inversely proportionate to faith.

    Well then, god help america if bushie is elected again. In one term, he managed to turn the entire world against america, rescind most of their environmental protection policies, invade at least two countries causing the loss of countless innocent lives, and not only burn off a national monetary surplus, but drag the country into the largest national deficit it has ever seen. Probably the largest that any country has ever seen.

    One term.




    The new iPaq 5555. Oooo...
    08 October 2003 : 15.20
    So I've got the MemPlug dual Compact Flash expansion sleeve with matching 512 MB Compact Flash card, the Arkon powered vehicle mount (with built-in amp for GPS voice commands), the aluminum case, and the ThinkOutside Stowaway keyboard.
    Of course, I'll have to upgrade my iPaq at some point, but from the look of it, everything except the keyboard will work with the future models. Assuming that they continue to follow the iPaq design. But if the 5555 is any indication, that's not going to change in the near future. And a good thing, too.

    Network office is down, so I can't actually do any work at the moment. I'm crying on the inside.

    New info on the new Doctor Who television series can be found at http://www.doctorwhotv.com




    Violently-Happy.net
    05 October 2003 : 17.31
    Ha ha ha! Ah haha! Oooh, ooh, now the technology is ok. Now that their religion isn't quite as convenient. What about god? Isn't this the lord testing them? They seem to think that he does a lot of that sort of nonsense. Isn't this the will of their god, that their crops should be destroyed? He's the guy who controls the weather, after all, right?
    Feh. It's all such a load of honk. Oh, the lord wants us to shun the technology of the outside world to prove that we're independent, and that all we need is god. Except, you know, when he smashes our crops and sends us scurrying to the outside world because they're the only ones who can help us not starve during the winter.
    So, let me see.. stipulating for the moment that their god, as they see it, exists, couldn't we view this as a sign that he wants them to buy a harvester? For some reason, he seems unable to make a simple appearance, but this seems a loud and clear message. He's put them in a position where only technology can save them. Hello in there.




    where am i?
    02 October 2003 : 16.52
    The bane of my existence is my lack of a sense of direction. Seriously, I can take three right turns, and have no idea which direction I'm facing.
    Yeah, laugh it up. And then try to imagine what it's like, never being able to find my way anywhere. I can't get home from most places, I can't read a map because it has no bearing on the physical world for me.. I can't find my way. And it frustrates me. I drive around for hours, knowing where I'm supposed to be going, but completely unable to find it. I can't call for help, because people think that it's funny, and everyone laughs. Which just frustrates me more. I mean, imagine if I had to be somewhere, if it were really important..
    Fortunately, technology comes to my rescue. Ha HA! I have a PDA. Now, I have a Pharos GPS module which slots into my PDA, and provides voice prompts between source and destination. And with voice prompts, I can even use it on my bike, tucking it into my jacket and connecting the earphones. Now there's nowhere that I can't find, as long as I have an address. Yay! I can't tell you how much easier that makes my life. For example:

    I was supposed to go to a housewarming party for a friend of mine. It was in Port Coquitlam. I took my bike, and rode around for two hours trying to find my way there, following the directions precisely and still getting lost. When I eventually found myself by the Maple Ridge ferry, I just gave up and went home.
    Another time, I was trying to get home, and the one route I knew was closed off by the police. So I thought ok, I take a right here, the next left I can find, and I'll be heading in the right direction. So I took my right, took my left, ran into a dead end, had to make another turn, and another, and another, until eventually I came to a major road. Sure, no problem. I turn left here, and I'll be back en route to home. What's this coming up on my left? It's the police car I turned right to avoid. Feck.
    Ok, no problem. I take the second left, since I know that the first one leads to a dead end, and I'm back on track.
    Which led to another turn, and another, until I came back out onto a different major road. Ok, turn right this time, and I'm heading for home. What's this coming up ahead of me? It's the freaking police car again! GAH!
    Yes, it's funny. I laugh about it. I have to.. it's frustrating as hell. In any event, problem solved. :)




    A Dalek as the Doctor? 'YOU WILL HAVE A JELLY BABY OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!'
    26 September 2003 : 15.15
    Someone sent me a news story this morning via email.

    Ooo! OooooOOOOOO!
    Ok, words just aren't enough.
    I just hope that they do it right... I'm dreading what they might do to it. But oh, if they do do it right!
    Part of me wants it to stay as it is.. preserved, as it were. Safe from the disaster of bringing it back and having it fail. But I want more.

    Official Telegraph page here
    Archive of the Telegraph story here.
    Google story matches
    Confirming BBC story here.
    Outpost Gallifrey news site here, with links to far more media coverage
    Even CNN and MSNBC have the story.

    eee! [bounce] [bounce] [bounce]

    You might think this something of an overreaction, but I've been watching the program all of my life. As in, I came home from the hospital shortly after being born, and that evening sat on my mother's knee and watched Doctor Who. I appreciate it a lot more now than I did then, of course.
    So, after all of the rumours, to have it finally, actually, really come back.. I've been waiting for this since 1989.

    And it's not just me. Found this in a forum (posted before the official confirmation):

    Forgive me for being cynical, but I'll believe it when I see it happen.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go practice doing cartwheels and screaming yippee. Just in case this is real, you know.




    There is NO.. rule six.
    25 September 2003 : 18.24
    Turns out that I was right the first time, and that Bruce is a flying squirrel after all. And an adorable little brute he is, too. I know this because I rescued another one the other day. Poor little guy was terrified, and bit me very thoroughly. At the moment, he sleeps in a large collection of towels, and eats the same food as Bruce.
    Having two very similar little flying squirrels sharing my house causes a little confusion, so I named the new one "Bruce" to keep things clear.
    Bruce is slightly different from Bruce, in that he has smaller ears, and smaller eyes. Oh, and Bruce doesn't try to bite off my fingers whenever I get close. Bruce is really into that game. Bruce, on the other hand, climbs all over me, sits on my head, and is presently asleep in the comforter that I've draped in folds and crevices over my exercise bike. He's a sweet little monster.
    I'll take them both to a wildlife sanctuary as soon as I possibly can. Bruce is definitely wild, but Bruce might be tame.. he certainly took to me easily enough. So I think that Bruce will definitely have to go, while Bruce can probably stay with me. But I'll let the experts make that decision. I obviously wouldn't want to keep him if he's supposed to be out in the wild, but I don't want to chuck him out there if he's been raised among humans.

    So no more furniture for Bruce until it's decided whether he's going to stay with me.




    bright.
    25 September 2003 : 13.23
    And again? Fark headline:
    Today's school shooting brought to you by Cold Spring, Minnesota.
    Yes, people are safer without gun control. That's why there are so many more shootings in Canada than in.. oh, wait.

    Also: Bahahahahahaha! I love it.

    So I've been saying for ages that the problem with atheists is that we're so disorganised. Or, rather, we're not organised. That's kind of the point. Organised religion has power because it's organised more than because it's a religion. Like the masons, and various other silly secret societies. It's a collection of people who belong to a group, which means that they can be directed toward a common goal, steered by the people at the top. The result is that the group is a greater force than the collection of individuals. And therefore, it has much more power, which means that it can put pressure where it wants it to be.
    Our problem, as atheists, is that we're not organised.. we don't share a common religion which sucks us all together and makes us a big mindless collective. Our free thinking seems to negate that need to belong. In any event, it's hardly surprising that the few large religions are more successful than the millions of scattered atheists. You just have to look at the census results to see that Canadians, and in fact people the world over, are becoming less religious. Our numbers rival those of the major religions, and yet still, the world over (and particularly in america), religion is being forced on people.
    So, the question is, how can we bring about change? Stop ourselves being overrun by the priestridden masses. Well, if their strength comes from organisation, we need to become somewhat more organised. And that's no easy task, because we're talking about millions of people who don't share anything in common except their lack of religion.
    And that's a problem. The thing that defines atheists is that they're not religious. Obviously.. a-theist. That's like defining yourself as "Not Fred." Never mind who you aren't. Who are you?
    That's where The Brights come in. Redefining atheists to be something other than "not religious."
    And Penn and Teller are members, so it must be nifty.




    'What do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?' 'I know there's no business like it. No business I know.'
    24 September 2003 : 14.23
    Cool.. I, Robot was shooting in Vancouver for the last few days. I didn't know about that. Spiffy.

    Reading The american's Guide to Canada. And learning interesting things that I didn't know. For example:
  • Coke and Pepsi use real sugar instead of corn syrup.


  • This is interesting because there's a Kosher version of Coke for Passover, but I'd never seen it in the shops (and I wanted to try it). Now I know.. they don't have it here because we don't have the corn syrup version.
    It's not exciting, but it's something minor about which I'd wondered.

    Actually, the site is an interesting insight into the differences between Canada and yankeeland. They call pop "soda?" They call runners "sneakers?" Their Smarties aren't chocolate? And what the hell is a "Ring Ding?"
    Hm.. thinking about that, perhaps they're lucky that their Smarties aren't chocolate. american chocolate is.. how can I describe it? Vile. Really, worse than vile. It's no wonder they freak out so much over chocolate from South America, Europe, England, and even Canada. Those who aren't mind-frelled into thinking that everything american must be better because it's american, regardless of what their senses tell them. Assuming that they bother to try, that is. If you don't try the alternatives, you have no way of knowing what you're missing.




    Apollo Smile
    21 September 2003 : 16.04
    Much as I hate to admit it.. and I do.. the yankees are right on this one. If they don't want to recognise same-sex marriages, they don't have to recognise same-sex marriages. They're a sovereign nation, and have the right to set their own rules.
    And being a christian nation, despite what the atheists would like to think, they're not likely to recognise same-sex marriages.
    Yes, they are a christian nation. Just look at the government. And the government is the body who makes the laws which govern the land. Like it or not, america is fundyland, just at the moment.
    Don't believe me? Look here.
  • More American adults consider religion much more important than do the citizens of all other industrialized states. "Americans’ views are closer to people in developing nations than to the publics of developed nations."
  • The population of the U.S. and Canada share a similar culture. Yet they assign vastly different importance to religion -- almost a ratio of 2 to 1. This may well influence the two country's divergent policies on abortion access , gun control, homosexual rights , universal health care, and other social issues.



    On a happier subject: Apollo Smile.

    ...

    What? Nothing specific.. what more need be said?




  • Arr!
    20 September 2003 : 12.12
    Fixed the Talk Like A Pirate Day graphic. At least I'll have it for next year. It just sucks that I didn't get to go out and be a pirate last night. Ah well.. there's always next year.
    I'm surprised at how popular it is. There's even a name generator. :)




    ow
    19 September 2003 : 17.14
    Don't you hate "it" when someone who is "writing" an email message, or an "article" or something, uses quotes on "the" most inappropriate words "which" really have no place being "in" those quotes?

    Well, I do, anyway.

    Hmm.
    "... proceeded on the sound principle that the magnitude of a lie always contains a certain factor of credibility, since the great masses of the people in the very bottom of their hearts tend to be corrupted rather than consciously and purposely evil, and that, therefore, in view of the primitive simplicity of their minds, they more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a little one, since they themselves lie in little things, but would be ashamed of lies that were too big.
    Such a falsehood will never enter their heads, and they will not be able to believe in the possibility of such monstrous effrontery and infamous misrepresentation in others; yes, even when enlightened on the subject, they will long doubt and waver and continue to accept at least one of these causes as true. Therefore, something of even the most insolent lie will always remain and stick -- a fact which all the great lie-virtuosi and lying-clubs in the world know only too well and also make the most treacherous use of."
    -- Adolph Hitler "Mien Kampf


    Ow.. headache. Complete with aura. This is going to suck.




    Imperial Palace cat tree. Good to scramble up and down, if you're a sugar glider.
    19 September 2003 : 14.41
    So, it's that time of year again. Panto auditions are tomorrow. I, of course, will be auditioning for the part of demon king.
    And what's the most important thing that an actor can bring to a part? That's right. Accessories. So I'm naturally going to accessorise with inflatable bat wings.
    I hope I do well. The attention to the panto has been increasing, and more and more talent has been coming out.
    Still, I think I'll hold my own.
    Whoa! Hold my own!? That sounds a bit rude!
    Sounds a bit like...
    BUM!

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to buy a cat tree for my sugar glider.
    He lives largely on fruits and vegetables, as well as a little bit of scavenged meat, so I've bought him some mixed fruit baby food, and some cat food which contains small amounts of chicken, duck, rice, and various other essentials. He's also got a thin slice of cantaloupe.




    Violently-Jolly.net. Arr!
    19 September 2003 : 13.39
    Arr! Look alive me ol' shiverin' mateys heave ho! International Talk Like A Pirate Day it be! Aye! Everyone be gettin into the act! Ahoy in front, and avast behind!

    A vast behind? Sounds like my last girlfriend.
    Arr, shiver me swabs and hoist me timber!

    ...

    It's kind of suggestive, this pirate talk, isn't it?
    Going out tonight to talk like a pirate and harrass the serving wenches. Arr!
    Is a sugar glider a suitable substitute for a parrot?

    I even modified the front page of this site to reflect this special day, too.
    Yeah, yeah, it sucks. I did it in MS Paint.. what do you want from me? I don't have a copy of Photoshop here.




    G'day!
    18 September 2003 : 17.12
    Update: he is a sugar glider, but a juvenile, which is apparently why his markings are so faint. So says a local exotic pet club member person.




    banzai!
    18 September 2003 : 16.32
    Several things:
    Firstly: No duh! (pardon my eighties)
    Ah, the americans. So many so easily led by so little.
    Hans Blix is right, of course. It's all about spin, telling the sheep.. people, sorry, that there's a link to justify the invasion and occupation of Iraq. What gets me is that though there was no evidence whatever, so many people believed it. Something like 67%. Realistically, it wasn't the threat of weapons that motivated the invasion. It was the liberation of oil, and the liberation of the Iraqi people by everyone's favourite holy soldier.

    I normally can't stand the oversensitivity of the general public to the content of advertisements, but I have to agree with this. It's not funny. It's just.. sad. Even if it is a car.
    Along the same lines, my local cable company ran a series of print ads promoting their Internet service. One of the ads shows a girl with a dissected frog, and a list of words for looking up on the Internet. It's highly sick.. I'm the guy who violently refused to dissect anything in school not because it was against my religion, but because I had a real moral problem with innocent creatures being killed so that high school students could cut them up and make jokes about them and throw bits all over the place. Because that's what high school students do. Why not dissect just one frog (preferrably who died of natural causes) and take pictures? The students won't remember what happens in the classroom anyway.
    Cows' eyeballs aren't so serious, but frogs? Rats? No. I always say that right and wrong are subjective, but I can find absolutely no justification for that.

    On to happier things:
    Last night my cat brought home a small, furry person.
    I'm uncertain as to whether he's a brown-red sugar glider or a Southern flying squirrel. His colours suggest flying squirrel, but they're very similar to brown-red sugar glider. His markings look very sugar glider, though they're very subtle.
    I also have yet to figure out his sex. I call him "he," and his name at the moment is "Bruce" because he's Australian (assuming that he is, as I believe, a sugar glider). I have to figure out his actual sex because I have to get him a friend, as they're social creatures, but I don't want to get one of the opposite gender. I don't have room for little gliderlings or squirrellets all over the place. Assuming that they are too small to be neutered, of course. I'll find out about that.
    I can sex him in the manner you see here, though if he is a young sugar glider the difference will be difficult to see. You can see what I mean in the picture at the bottom of the page. For some reason, they call the index finger the "pointer" finger, but it's not hard to figure out what they're talking about.
    In any case, here he is.
    Personally, I don't care whether he's a sugar glider or a squirrel. As long as he's safe, and happy to stay with me, that's good enough for me. And when he sits on my shoulder and wraps his tail over himself, or snuggles down into my palm, little hands clutching the tip of my finger, and his big eyes slowly close, he seems pretty happy to me.

    Speaking of cute, go now and vote for Tristan in the XFM morning X hot chick of the week contest thingie. There's no comparison, obviously. She has something that none of the others has. But vote anyway.




    Sexy. I'm missed my car. Didn't realise how much until I drove it today.
    17 September 2003 : 15.08
    Just made an incredible discovery! If you add boiling water to instant coffee, you can make instant coffee soup! Now, bear with me.. this might sound odd. But to take it a step further, if you add milk to it, you can make cream of instant coffee soup!
    Ah, culinary genious. Iron Chef, here I come.
    Iron Chef Koohii! Koukeisha Jiemuzu!

    Drove my car for the first time in months today. Wow.. so weird. I mean, weird because the revs are so low, and because it's so quiet and smooth that it feels slow. And because I can't remember where a lot of things are. It's like driving a new car for the first time. You know that somewhere on the dash is the rear window defogger, but where?
    Lots of fun, though. So much so that I didn't even bother with the cruise control for the drive in today. Weaving through the traffic, sunroof open, stereo turned way up (something I really miss when on the bike)..
    I'm glad I didn't sell it when I was planning to.

    Speaking of the bike, I mistakenly watched a bit of "Dark Angel" last night.
    I know.. it still hurts when I open my eyes. But from what I can see, Jessica What'sherhead has my bike (though in looking for pictures for comparison, I've seen it referred to as a 600, 450, and 350). The twin pipes, the single contoured seat, the front end design, riding position, even the width of the tires. Yes, maybe it's acting, pretending to be something else, but yay! My bike is a star!

    No, the series isn't filmed here. No it isn't! You can't prove it! La la la I can't hear you la la la!




    I like girls. A lot.
    14 September 2003 : 21.57
    Just watched But I'm A Cheerleader
    It's wonderful.. I highly recommend it.
    Because everyone cares what I think, right? But seriously, it's really good. It's about a girl whose parents (good christian folks) think that she's a lesbian, so they send her to a program where she can learn to be hetero, the way she's supposed to be.
    In the program, everyone is taught their proper gender roles.. the gay boys wear blue, and are taught to play football, chop wood, fix cars, and grab themselves. Manly stuff. The gay girls wear pink and get to learn about housekeeping, and looking after children. Very Leave It To Beaver. Scrubbing the floor while wearing pearls, that sort of thing.
    I don't want to give any more away, though. I'd suggest watching it without reading any of the reviews or synopses.

    Many of the reviews that I've read about it (since I watched the movie) all seem to be written by people who just didn't get it, you know? They're so eager to say things like "the stereotypes are all way over the top" to prove that though they're straight, they understand gay people, that they miss the whole point of the movie. So I'm not even going to comment on that. The reviews that I've seen on gay sites were all very positive.. everyone who saw it loved it, as far as I can tell.
    Anyway, watch the movie. It's good. :)




    far more than just another Time Lord.
    14 September 2003 : 17.07
    Is this real? No, no, seriously, is this real?
    I want to go! I wanna go and play on the console-shaped entertainment centre, and stay in a room that's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!
    Las Vegas has never held the slightest appeal for me until today.
    Dammit, there's no date on the article, which means that even if it is real, it might be from several years ago. I love Doctor Who, but I don't think that there's enough of a fan base to keep something like that alive for very long. So if it was from a few years ago, it's probably gone by now. I can't find any other reference to it on the web.




    Hold it!
    14 September 2003 : 14.00
    Got a message from a guy living in Adanac Place. Adanac? What are you thinking to name a place that ya fuckin unoriginal bastard?
    I was out with my brother and another friend at one point, and we passed Adanac Place.
    friend: "What a stupid name. That's just Canada backwards,"
    brother: "No, Canada backwards is 'america'"

    heh heh heh.

    Oh, found this on the Kalabarians site:
    As James, you have a natural interest in the welfare of your fellow man, and a desire to help and serve others in a humanitarian way.

    Um.. nope. Not even close. More accurate would be:
    As james, you certainly have no interest in serving humanity, as you're all too aware that most people make better furniture than company.

    I was thinking of moving into the West End, but apparently now that they're cleaning up East Van in preparation for the Olympics (etc), all of the druggies are heading west. The number of breakins in the West End has more than doubled since this started happening, largely because said druggies are moving in, and because people in the West End tend to be on the wealthier side, so they have nice cars containing expensive things.
    So maybe I don't want to live in the West End after all. I like my stuff, thank you very much.




    Violently-Happy.net
    13 September 2003 : 16.46
    Your Life: The Movie by >mintyduck
    Who will play you:Janeane Garofalo
    Who will play your love interest:Kate Beckinsale
    Weeks you will stay in the box office:13
    Song that will play during your love scene:Whitesnake - Is This Love
    Song that will play during your death:Emiliana Torrini - If You Go Away
    Your name:
    Created with >quill18's MemeGen!


    Cool! I'll be played by Jan.. hang on a minute.

    Once more unto the meme:
    are you sexy? by >jeska
    your name
    do YOU think you are?
    male/female?
    on a scale from 1-10 you are a8
    other people say you aremaking them horny
    your sex appeal will last tilNovember 20, 2035
    Created with quill18's MemeGen!

    Do I make you horny? Do I? Do I make you horny baby?




    Violently Antisocial.
    13 September 2003 : 14.14
    Freaky twilight zone moment..
    The other day, I was minding my own business, working, riding, that sort of thing, and throughout the entire day lines from Cave Dwellers kept popping into my head.
    "How much Keefe is in this movie?" "Miles O'Keefe"
    "Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?"
    "Why is she limping?" "'Cause she's got an arrow in her chest." "Oh, well I can see huh?"

    etc. At somewhere around two the next morning I got a message from a friend in the southern US, to whom I hadn't spoken in several days, who happened to mention that she'd just finished watching Cave Dwellers.
    How trippy is that?




    Sorry I missed you. I'm out of the cage for the next couple of weeks...
    13 September 2003 : 14.07
    So I'm working happily away, playing the email technical support game, when I get a message which says:
    Hope you have a nice holiday. Perhaps this email could be sent to someone
    else in your department. Another reason why we chose [company] over [other company] -NOT!!


    The manbudgie, leaping face first into the advanced world of "out of office assistant" technology, has set up a message saying that he'll be on vacation for, like, two weeks. On the publicly accessible address. So customers writing for support are getting his vacation message.
    Oh, that makes us look good. But, on the bright side, it was only set up yesterday, which means that only a couple of hundred users have received it as a response to their questions.
    Excuse me while I find something sharp with which to slash my wrists.




    Violently-Happy.net
    12 September 2003 : 19.05
    heh. Hee. Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha! [pant] [pant] [gasp] [cough] Oh wow.. [wiping eyes] Oh my.




    jones.
    12 September 2003 : 16.24
    Mmm.. Jones Soda. Why they call it soda I've no idea. But Orange and Cream. Mmm mmm.

    Police are worried about the influence of violent video games on people, and are convinced that GTA:VC is responsible for many of the assaults on police officers over the last eighteen months because players get points for killing cops. I don't know whether they think that there's some great point system among the youth of today, but I'm forced to question their reasoning. The examples of assault cited in the paper include:
  • A police officer trying to arrest a drunk was assaulted.
  • A domestic violence incident escalated when officers arrived to arrest the combatants.
  • A woman attacked an officer with a steak knife.

    Now, maybe I'm not involved with the police, and I'm no specialist in the field of video game influences, but I would think that we can probably put the first incident down to the fact that the person was drunk, and that the police were trying to arrest him. That might have had something to do with it. I doubt that many people play GTA:VC, and then get liquored up and go looking to get arrested so that they can beat up a cop.
    The domestic violence incident.. there's not a lot of domestic violence in GTA:VC. Again, I doubt very much that some redneck trailer trash pig is going to beat his wife hoping that the cops will arrive so that he can kill one and get 200 bonus points. And the woman with the steak knife? Please. I doubt that she's even played Vice City.

    The argument that violent games desensitise people to violence.. well, I suppose that there's some logic there. Prolonged exposure to excessive levels of any form of stimulus will result in desensitisation. But television and movies are much greater influences than computer games. Video games like GTA:VC reach a comparitively small audience, so blaming them for the problem is stupid. And blaming them for incidents specifically involving police is even more ridiculous. If someone is unbalanced enough that they don't know the difference between reality and a computer game, they're just as likely to be influenced by television and movies. Those of us who do know the difference enjoy the games because they're different from reality. Who's going to play a game where your character gets up, has a shower, goes to work, takes his car to the mechanic, etc etc? That's life, not entertainment. And games and movies are about entertainment. The only people who might be influenced by these things are psychos, and morons like the headcases who watch jackass and then try to do some of the stunts themselves. And end up thinning the genepool. Which can only be good. We don't want them reproducing, do we?




  • Clearly, Suzanne Somers was cast because of her impressive, gravity-defying talents.
    12 September 2003 : 13.19
    So John Ritter died last night. Heart failure after getting sick on the set of his new sitcom 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter. Talk about getting cancelled.
    Today, people all over the world will be watching the ironing board and hammock scenes from Three's Company with tears in their eyes. Or not. A shame, though.. he was a brilliant physical comic. And apparently outstanding in the improvisational comedy field, too.

    As one of the sensitive people on Fark said:
    "Ninth simple rule for dating my teenage daughter: OVER MY DEAD BODY !!!!"
    Can you feel the love?
    Not that kind of love, you sickos.
    "Now if you will, gentlemen - let's put the song into perspective so you understand where I'm coming from when I sing this - is that the woman is the hunted, the animal. And when I catch her, me being the predater, the hunter, I'm gonna kill her. Maybe not kill her, but... you know what I mean, you silly guys. Little bit of hot nookie? uh? Little bit of pinch and squeal? You know, whatever.. , however it goes. We're animals, right? We're outta control! We're fierce... animals. Crazy! Grrrrr. That's what I'm saying.
    Let's do the song.
    " -RBF, Hungry Like The Wolf cover.

    Got all caught up in my computer case design again last night, making a top-down colour view in Photoshop so that I could see what it will look like when it's finished. So sleepy now. But that's ok.. the one person to whom I have shown the design very thoroughly approves. And she has immaculate taste, so that's good.





    Me Grog bash bear with rock! Me Grog.. hey, look at that cloud. It looks like a bunny. Sorry, what did you say, Ugh?
    11 September 2003 : 16.12
    soooo... tiiiired....
    I got hyperfocused on my new computer case design project last night. Next thing I knew it was 4.30 this morning.

    If you're not familiar with hyperfocus, I'll explain:
    It's an ADD thing. It's.. hm. Ok, normally an ADD person's mind is like being lost at sea in a hurricane, right? And then quite by accident you catch onto something solid, like a big rock, at the same time as the eye of the hurricane reaches you, and everything goes calm. Suddenly everything is placid, you can stay focused on one purpose.. it's stability, which is so much nicer than the normal thrashing about. That's kind of how it feels to hyperfocus. But what it's like is more.. suppose that you took all of that turmoil of the sea in the hurricane, and pointed it all in one direction, like through a firehose. That's what hyperfocus is like. You're happy and calm because all of your thoughts are moving in one direction, even though they're blasting along at an incredible rate, and bring with them that feeling of obsessed excitement. It doesn't have to be an obsession, though, as long as it's somewhat interesting. It doesn't even matter what the subject of the hyperfocus is, I find. It can be something on which you're working, a video game.. anything. It's just nice to have all of your thoughts moving in the same direction for a change. And then it's like the exact opposite of ADD, because normally you're aware of everything around you, however insignificant. When hyperfocusing, you're aware of almost nothing outside what you're doing. And then you come out of hyperfocus (say it like that, it sounds like coming out of hyperspace), and everything is chaos again.

    Attention. Deficit. Disorder. Feh. I don't think that the name is accurate. I don't think that I have a defective brain, though I must admit that I feel that way sometimes. But I don't believe that I'm actually lacking, largely because there are so many advantages to ADD as well as disadvantages. It's a difference, certainly, but I wouldn't call it a disorder. And I'm not the only one. Apparently the hunter/farmer theory has been somewhat validated. The study suggests that the 7R allele of DRD4 is likely a spontaneous mutation which appeared between ten and forty thousand years ago, and provided an advantage to those fortunate enough to carry it. Unfortunately for their descendants, the domestication of animals for food negated the need to hunt to survive, and 7R carriers no longer had the advantage. Thom Hartmann suggests that what we call Attention Deficit Disorder is the result. Simply put, we have two different types of person: the hunters and the farmers. The hunters are the 7R people. Since our world is built by the farmers, the hunters don't fit in, and as a result, are labelled defective. Inadequate. Deficit. It's a positive view of a difficult situation, because though it doesn't change matters, it does mean that having ADD doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. There's a big difference between not fitting in because you're different, and not fitting in because you're inadequate. I'm wary of falling into the hopeful trap, embracing the theory because it makes me feel better, but I have to say that it does make sense.




    10 September 2003 : 18.48
    So we've hit the rainy season. I happen to know because I spent thirty minutes today sitting on the Alex Fraser bridge on my motorcycle getting soaked. There was an accident keeping traffic immobile. Perhaps it is time to insure the car again. Much as I love riding, I'm not big on sitting at work in wet clothes all day.

    Tonight I go for sushi with the lovely Tristan. Yay! :)
    She could charm the.. the uh.. Ok, I suck at these expressions. But she's a charmer, anyway.




    meep meep
    09 September 2003 : 00.22
    Twice today someone tried to run over me. Well, maybe not tried to run over me, but tried to be in my lane in the same place as I was.
    Hmph.
    The first one was trying to muscle his way into my lane on the highway. Creeping his truck slowly over, knowing that I'd eventually have to brake and let him in. I drifted my bike right up to his door, turned my head and opened my opaque black visor, and gave him a look that said "Get back in your own lane or I'll eat your face."
    So he did. :)
    Funny, because there's absolutely nothing that I could have done to him if he'd just kept pushing me.
    The other guy just wasn't paying attention, and didn't see me. So I let him drift his minivan into my lane a bit, and then hit my horn, and bashed a gloved fist against his door. Subtle, I know. Jerked him back into his own lane, though. Ass weasel.




    All god fanciers, please obey the sign.
    06 September 2003 : 19.23
    Religious argument on Fark about the guy suing to have the ten commandments removed from in front of the local courthouse. Some of the lovely quotes include:

    "Considerring the actions of the jeezoids, God either doesn't exist to put a screeching halt to such asshattery in his name, or he does exist but just plain doesn't care about the human race.
    God would have done something about the horrors of the Holocaust, but he was too busy making sure his missionaries in Borneo were telling the savages not to fark.
    "

    "Why is it that as kids, we all eventually realize that the Tooth Fairy, Santa, the elves et al are fake, but we continue to believe in a God or a number of other types of Gods?
    It makes for an intersting observation, actually.
    "

    "Remember boys and girls, if it were not for the big pieces of rock with words printed in them, we would all lose our fundamental beliefs. Those rocks are necessary! How dare you asshats try and take away the rock."

    I just find it hard to believe that a goverment which is supposed to represent the people.. all of the people, not just the bible-thumpers, would have put that there in the first place.




    You! The invaders! Get you the hot bullets of shotgun to die!
    06 September 2003 : 16.19
    Last night, my friend's blue Yamaha YZF-R6 was stolen from outside his place of work.
    Two hours later, completely by coincidence, a guy riding a blue motorcycle that he had stolen was flattened by a truck.
    Even if it's not the same bike, serves him right.

    Now then, on to more important matters: there's a thunder storm outside. Oh yes there is, and it's shaking the windows. And if you knew how thick the windows of this building are you'd appreciate what that means. These windows, right? These windows are so thick that you'd think I was a shark exhibit. Seriously, these windows are at least eighteen feet deep, with serrated edges and big nasty hooks that.. no, wait, I'm thinking of something else.
    Anyway, loud thunder.

    Who gave Toyota permission to have such a lame logo, anyway? I mean really. It looks like a skinny guy in a cowboy hat. Not, I think, the image that Toyota would like associated with its cars.
    "The new Toyota Previa. It sure is a hoot! Yee haw!"
    Maybe you could get the Duke boys to drive it, but that's about it.




    Mmm.. menthol. And arsenic. And cadmium, DDT, lead, formaldehyde, ammonia, benzene, cyanide.. the list goes on. Click here to see the rest of it.
    05 September 2003 : 17.0.
    Argument about "smokers' rights" on Fark. feh. Smokers don't have rights.. not when they interfere with those of the rest of us.
    If I'm sitting in a restaurant, I don't want the guy next to me lighting up his little cancer stick and poisoning me.
    The smokers say that the solution is to move. Why the hell should I move when he's the one pumping toxins into the air?
    The smokers say that second hand smoke isn't so bad.
    These organisations say yes, yes it is:
  • International Agency for Research on Cancer: "After a five-day meeting in Lyons, France, this week, [the International Agency for Research on Cancer (which is part of the World Health Organization)] suggested non-smokers who are exposed to second-hand smoke are between 20% and 30% more likely to develop lung cancer."
  • Ontario Medical Association: "Second-hand smoke ranks third as a major preventable cause of death behind only active smoking and alcohol"
  • American Lung Association: "Secondhand smoke causes lung cancer and other health problems. The EPA estimates that secondhand smoke causes approximately 3,000 lung cancer deaths and 35,000 heart disease deaths in nonsmokers each year."

    Smokers say that it's their choice, and that by banning smoking in public places, we're taking away their freedom to make that choice.
    Maybe, if smoking only affected the person who was doing it, that argument might carry some weight. But since one smoker affects everyone in the room to one extent or another, and smokers usually travel in herds, why should we let them take away our right to clean air?
    They say "it's no worse than the pollution from cars and trucks."
    That's right. And we're working on the car/truck problem, but if they were all shut down tomorrow, the world would fall apart. If everyone stopped smoking tomorrow, only the tobacco companies would fall apart. And really, who cares?
    Why the hell do people want to smoke, anyway? I mean, there's nothing good about it. Some people say that it calms their nerves. Of course, the fact that they're addicted to it probably explains why their nerves are so frazzled in the first place. To put it another way, I've never smoked. My nerves don't need calming. If I can manage without it, why can't they?

    Meanwhile, a friend of mine has quit.. it's been something like three weeks now. Already he says that everything tastes better. Particularly sushi.

    Rights. Why is it that I can't go up and inject a smoker with HIV-tainted blood, or just whack him across the nose with a cricket bat, but he can thoroughly dose me with cancer-causing smoke?





  • Violently-Happy.net
    04 September 2003 : 16.12
    Ow. Vicious headache.


    Yes, you bloody do care.

    Spiffy toy for mounting my iPaq in my car. Yes, you bloody do care.




    The Pharos GPS ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, thank you, it's here all week.
    04 September 2003 : 11.57
    I don't understand those women's shoes that don't have a back to them, so that every step is accompanied by a pfap noise.

    pfap pfap pfap pfap
    Wouldn't that drive you mad, having that following you around?

    In other news, I got a message from the Antisocialite. Yay! Haven't heard from her in ages and ages and ages. I've missed her a great deal.

    Found my GPS module for my iPaq. That's another yay. No more getting lost.




    In the beginning there was Red Dwarf UK. Now there's Red Dwarf USA!!!... really wish they hadn't bothered.
    03 September 2003 : 16.16
    So I found a copy of the first Red Dwarf USA pilot, and watched it, thinking really, how bad can it be?

    You have no idea. No, really, you don't. Try to imagine. Go on.. I'll wait.


    ...


    Nope, not even close. All of the humour of Red Dwarf simplified for american audiences, changed to suit american.. er.. taste.
    e.g.:
    Holly: "This Munson is a hologram. He's exactly the same as when he was alive, except, since he's a projection, he can't touch anything except himself."
    Munson: "So, basically, my sex life is unchanged."

    Hilarious. I was overwhelmed by the rapier wit of the dialogue. One must admire the dedication of the actor, the way he spoke the line straight to the camera, undistracted by notions of timing or delivery.
    Yeah, american humour. Such as it is. Heavy-handed, clumsy, and just lacking in the charm of the real Red Dwarf.
    Within moments of pressing play I was paralysed, unable to reach the stop button for the pain of enduring the programme. I struggled, but in a Clockwork Orange kind of way, my efforts were for naught and I was forced to watch the whole thing. Women the world over wept for my torment.

    Lister might almost be tolerable, almost, as the worst part of the show, if he were actually the worst part of the show. Unfortunately, he's not. And if you'd seen him, that would give you some idea of just how bad the show is. Kryten is the same as always, but then I should hope so. It was the same guy, after all. Rimmer doesn't have an H on his head. No H. What the hell kind of hologram doesn't have an H on his head?

    The cat in the first one seems to be some sort of jazz musician. Or something. The cat in the second pilot is apparently Terry Farrell.
    Part of the thing that makes Red Dwarf so funny is the fact that nothing happens. At least in the first two seasons. They're in deep space, three million years from Earth. They're bored. That's why they play unicycle Polo and table golf. If you were three million years into deep space on a ship with Terry Farrell, one thing you wouldn't be is bored.

    If the programme were completely original, if it weren't an americanising of a good programme, it might almost be acceptable. Compared to the rest of american sitcoms, it's not a jewel, but it's not the bottom of the barrel, either.
    And what's with the new theme? Gah.. it's hideous.

    Because I have this inexplicable masochistic edge to my character, I'm going to try to find the second Red Dwarf USA pilot. To see what they did to try to fix the first one. Terry being the cat has nothing to do with it. And how dare you suggest such a thing anyway.




    You're an idiot, Starscream! Tekka is TUNA, not salmon! Decepticons! To Sushi Robo!
    03 September 2003 : 12.06
    So, it's not often that I dream. It's quite rare, in fact. But last night, I had a strange dream. Strange because it was very normal, though kind of odd at the same time.
    A big group of friends and I were going to go out for sushi. Nothing unusual there. And I was trying to convince my mother to go, and I heard myself saying "C'mon, Starscream and Megatron will be there."
    Jump cut to the restaurant.. it's one of those big sushi rooms with the seat ledge with the hole under the table where you put your legs, all done in a pale blue-green with light wood trim. Everyone's there. Including Starscream and Megatron. Not quite full-size, but still bigger than everyone else, sitting at the table laughing and chatting with my friends. And no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. Even with the dialogue:
    M: "You fool, Starscream! You once again demonstrate your defective mentality! They use mock crab in the california rolls!"
    S: "Don't push me, Megatron. My knowledge of sushi is as great as yours."

    Ahem. So, how 'bout that local sports team?

    Oh, and again, it's not just me.





    Violently-Hatty.net
    31 August 2003 : 17.59
    Just talked to a friend of mine. Well, kind of. Ever have one of those incidents where you bump into a friend to whom you haven't spoken in some time, and it's really awkward? It's like that every time I talk to her these days. At least, that's how it feels to me. I don't think it's because we kind of used to go out.. I think it's just that we don't see much of each other any more. Maybe it's just me, but since about February, things have been uncomfortable. Most of the time, anyway.

    [shrug] Or maybe it's all in my head. I'm really bad at reading people, after all.




    enter the dark knight? That sounds a bit RUDE! Sounds a bit like... BUM!
    31 August 2003 : 13.44
    New page. Same bat time. Same bat channel.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I don't care how serious the problem with your computer, I don't care how important it is that you get your email, when I ask you what the error message says, don't tell me that Windows has told you that "your password does not compute."
    It hasn't, and you've been watching too many old science fiction programmes. What is this, Flash Gordon?

    Here's a review of the popular Star Wars Galaxies, which has provided a new home for wanks who like to pretend to be thirteen year old girls.

    And now, this. And part two.

    In keeping with the Master Ninja theme, the Master Ninja mission generator, which has some moderately funny missions.


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