thanks for choosing god.

speaking of scams...
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

10 March 2007 : 18.47
It's raining torrentially out there. I like rain for what it is, but the problem is that when it rains, my walk home always takes much longer than normal. This is because I have to stop and rescue all of the worms that I see stranded on the sidewalk. The poor creatures come to the surface, and get swept onto or between the flagstones, where they either drown, or are squashed horribly beneath the shoes and wheels of human traffic. It's a cruel fate, and one that no living creature deserves, and while I can't rescue all of them, I can't just leave them to die when I have the power to do something to save them. What kind of monster would that make me?

The trouble is that the poor creatures have no idea that I'm trying to help them, of course, and between their shape and the rain, they're very hard to grasp without hurting them. At one point a blonde girl asked why I was playing with a worm. It's surprising how often that happens. Not necessarily with blonde girls, you understand, just people in general who think that what I'm doing is odd. Today, the conversation went something like this:

"I'm not playing with him," I said, "I'm trying to rescue him. Slippery little bugger is hard to pick up, though."

She looked at me with what appeared to be genuine surprise, and said something along the lines of "Why? It's just a worm,"

"There's a fountain over there. If there were a puppy drowning in that fountain, would it be weird that I was trying to rescue her?"

"Yeah but puppies are cute,"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who decides who's cute and who isn't? Suppose that the rule applied to humans, that only cute ones would be allowed to live. Suppose that the person who made that rule only found redheads cute. Would that be ok? A living creature is a living creature, and cute or not, they all have the right to survive. But if the idea of rescuing an innocent being from death is somehow disturbing to you, maybe it would help to think of it as self preservation. After all, if the worms die, the soil becomes infertile, and without fertile soil, the plants die. And if the plants die, so does everything else because it's the plants that give us the air that we need to breathe, not to mention our food, both directly and indirectly. In spite of humanity's seemingly overwhelming desire to consume or destroy every living thing on this planet in the name of ridiculous ephemeral concepts like money, it still depends upon the plants, and therefore the soil, and therefore the worms. Come to that, if humanity died off tomorrow, what would happen? No more pollution, no more environmental destruction, no more mass extinction. The world could only benefit from the extinction of humanity. And do you know what that means? It means that this lowly little worm is more important than you are."

And I put my little worm on the soil under a bush out of the rain, and walked away from the sputtering girl to find someone else to rescue.
People think that it's weird that I go to so much trouble to rescue drowning worms during rainstorms. I think that it's sick that they just leave them to die. I can't imagine any argument that justifies their point of view.

08 March 2007 : 18.50
It's international women's day.
Bog off. Until there's an internationally recognised men's day, this is blatant sexism, and pure bollocks. All it does is elevate women above men, further driving a wedge between the two genders. It hinders, rather than helps. All it's going to do is breed resentment amongst those being discriminated against.
Personally, I don't even like men very much, aside from those few who are friends of mine. Most of my friends are female, and I prefer it that way, but cases like this are just plain sexist.

For example, Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean visited Kandahar today to pay tribute to Canadian women serving in the Canadian Forces. She didn't go to pay tribute to the people serving in the Canadian forces, she went to pay tribute to the women. What, the men serving in Kandahar are somehow less worthy of her respect?

"This just shows that women are part of the Canadian Forces and that we are here doing the same job as the men," said Master Warrant Officer Mary-Ann Barnes of Barrie, Ont.

She makes a point, but not, I think, the point that she intended to make. The women are a part of the Canadian Forces, and they're there doing the same job as the men. Why, then, do they get special respect and recognition for that? If they're just as good as the men at what they do, and I don't suggest for a moment that they aren't, why not just treat everyone the same? If the women who are a part of the Canadian Forces are just as good at their jobs as the men, and are just as willing to put their lives at risk, give everything for their country, etc, etc, then why make a fuss over them just because they're female? That suggests that being female is a disadvantage, that it's a handicap to be overcome, like rickets, and that's really not the case. The fact that these people are being recognised for being female, rather than for their individual accomplishments, makes that recognition meaningless. It does them the disservice of suggesting that whatever they do, whatever difference they make, it only matters because of their gender, over which they have no control. It suggests that what is routine for a man is a major accomplishment for a woman, and that's hardly an attitude that reflects the concept of equality between the genders, is it?

Let me illustrate the difference in attitude. Take this quote from the story:

Following her speech, Jean jokingly called on the men to get down on their knees and pay tribute to women soldiers.

Yes, it was a joke, but just imagine the outrage if it had been:

Following his speech, Jean jokingly called on the women to get down on their knees and pay tribute to men soldiers.

And you know that there would have been outrage. The joke would have been labelled inappropriate, and would have eventually resulted in a public apology on the part of Jean. Yes, it's stupid, and that's just my point. If there is to be real equality, the special treatment and recognition has to stop. I'd feel the same way if it were the other way around.

Obviously, I'm not talking about situations like Afghanistan, where women are treated as property, at best. That clearly needs to be recognised and dealt with. But here in the developed nations we realise that, basic physiological differences (such as physical strength) aside, women can do anything that men can do. That being the case, this favouritism, discrimination, inequality, whatever you want to call it, needs to come to an end if there is finally to be mutual respect between the sexes. I mean, how can you respect someone who, according to society, needs an extra pat on the head whenever she does something that a man can do? As I say, it's more insulting to women than anything else. Women deserve better than to be treated as though they have special needs.

I know, I tend to go on, but discrimination based upon gender, race, etc, really annoys me.

Budgie news, ya fff..
05 March 2007 : 12.43
Last month, a Colossal Squid was caught in the Antarctic. He was magnificent, a fabulous example of a mysterious and amazing species. So in typical human fashion, the people who found him immediately killed him and dragged him from the water. They say that he was caught in a fishing net, and that he was in no shape to be released, but I suspect that when a human crew catches the largest squid ever seen, and therefore a ticket to a few moments of fame, no matter what shape he's in, he isn't going to be allowed to live. Fucking humans.

Anyway, I was discussing the amazing variety of life in the great depths of the ocean with the manbudgie, and expressing my delight at the sheer range of adaptation, such as bioluminescence, and he revealed the following example of one of his theories:

You know how they hunt? Telepathy. But it's in their skin. It doesn't have to be in their brain.

Ah yes, telepathy of the skin. It's one of those great mysteries of the sea. No, he's not thinking of echolocation. He knows what that is. He actually means telepathy.
Mind you, this is the same manbudgie who believes that human evolution began because aliens interbred with protohumans. Yes, a highly advanced species capable of developing faster than light travel came across our little planet, and gazed benevolently down upon the grunting savages thereon, and thought "I'll have some of that."
Seriously, if you're a super advanced alien, are you really going to be into having a shag with a creature so primative that it hasn't even invented bathing, let alone shaving?
But the manbudgie believes all kinds of things. Apparently, USB was reverse engineered from technology recovered from the Roswell crash. And crop circles are real, even though the guys who make them have actually released film of themselves making them.

04 March 2007 : 16.45
It's commonly known that redheads taste like strawberries.

It's also well established that Canadian girls taste like maple.

If there are any Canadian redheads who would like to help me out with a study I'm thinking of performing, please get in touch.

03 March 2007 : 23.36
Remember ven Ulla dance? Ulla dance again!

Just saw The Producers on tour at The Centre.
It's absolutely wonderful! Much, much better than the movie version of the musical, which was really good. And quite different, too.

It's a difficult show to describe.. you really have to see it. It's marvellous.. highly recommended. If it comes to your town, you must go. I can't stress this enough. There aren't enough superlatives to do it justice.

20 February 2007 : 09:26 is running a contest for a radio controlled Dalek. Brilliant!

It's email-based, but they only allow one entry per email account.

Fortunately, I have more than one email account.

So far I've entered thirty-seven times.

If I don't win, I shall be very put out.

How romantic
14 February 2007 : 16:12
Ah, love. You know, I'm torn. Intellectually, I know that it's merely a short term hormonal imbalance followed by an extended period of familiarity, given that humans aren't a pair-bonding species, but that explanation doesn't allow for the joy of romance for its own sake. By that I mean that if it were all about short term hormonal influence, the whole point would be a shag, but it's not always about getting a shag. Sometimes it's just about celebrating and enjoying togetherness.
I'll admit it. I'm a romantic. I love doing all of that.. the thousand candles, the starlit picnic, the single rose and slow dancing and satin sheets.

Valentine's Day is still a load of bollocks, though.

It's pure commercialism. As I see it, you show someone that you love them because you love them, not because it's a specific date. If it has to be Valentine's Day for you to show someone that you love them, you probably shouldn't bother because it doesn't mean anything. It's a social norm, though, so sure, do something on Valentine's Day. Just don't do something only on Valentine's Day.
Says the single guy. Heh.
10 February 2007 : 14.32
Anna Nicole Smith
Paris Hilton
Britney Spears

Did someone find my list of useless human beings, and decide to do something about it?
A guy can dream, can't he?
26 January 2007 : 12:46
I was involved with a discussion a while ago with a bunch of americans. Yes, it was very deep. It involved one of them uttering the phrase "our system of government has been copied all over the world," followed by a rant about america bringing democracy to the countries unfortunate enough not to have it.
It appears that, amongst americans, the widely held belief is that america invented democracy.
So the ancient Greeks didn't have anything to do with it, then? Aristotle, Pericles/Thucydides, Plato, and others, all wrote or spoke about a system of government invented by a country that wouldn't be founded for centuries, did they? When Britain colonised North America, which also happened before america was founded as a country, it didn't have a branched government or anything? You mental cases.
Honestly, do the morons making these claims actually do any research whatever, or do they just believe every pseudofact vomited on them by the unbelievably sub-standard and obscenely biased american education system? It seems as though all most americans are taught is propaganda and mindless patriotic drivel.

But wait! They also like to claim that america is the greatest experiment in government in history. Ok, I can't dispute that. And the reason that I can't dispute that is that, as many important political scientists and historians have said, it's a statement that actually means fuck all. I could make the same claim about Canada. or Brazil. Or Germany. If anything, the american government was based upon existing concepts that had already been applied in numerous countries before it.
If america was a great experiment in government, I'd say that it's been a bit of a failure. americans worship democracy. To them, it's a religious word that sends them into fits of hysterical paroxysm, a Pavlovian trigger for state of frantic patriotic delirium. So it's funny that the greatest country in the world, the shining beacon of government by the people, doesn't even make the top ten list of functioning democracies.
Even by its own definition of democracy, america still fails. That's why, in spite of popular opposition to the invasion of Iraq, america has been at war for years now, and is still sending troops, defying even branches of its own government. However much the people protest, however many of the people die in the war that the majority of the people now opposes, georgie and cheney continue to do whatever they want. Not government of the people, by the people, for the people, then. More a question of dick and bush fucking over america.
Democracy. Don't be so stupid.

15 January 2007 : 16.17
Woo! Got a radio controlled K-9. He is beyond awesome.
Cost a fortune to have him shipped over from the UK, but I've wanted one for as long as I can remember, so it's about bloody time that someone decided to market one. Now I need a Dalek.

So I've been fiddling on the stock market. I begin to see why it's such a popular activity.. I made just over $10 000 for just under five minutes worth of work. Not a bad gig, really. I might have to play that game again, I think.

The common hamster is the largest animal on Earth, despite being only three inches long.
12 January 2007 : 09.37
Good morning kiddies. Today is interesting animal fact day.

  • A voracious predator, the centipede is, in fact, only one hundredth of a full-sized pede. No one has ever seen a fully developed pede, but it's bound to be pretty frightening.
  • And speaking of frightening, the Great White Shark can have up to three thousand teeth at one time, which is how scientists were able to identify it as a member of the Osmond family.
  • Despite what most people think, a water buffalo isn't a fish, it's actually a mammal.
  • The gnu has long since been domesticated, and used as a beast of burden. Those that operate heavy equipment are known as machine gnus
  • All sperm whales are male. Females are known as ovum whales. Many scientists believe that this is how planets reproduce.

  • So which star did the radio kill?
    10 January 2007 : 16.21
    The new year brings with it disturbing portents. I have found myself listening to The Beat, a radio station which, against all good taste, actually plays rap. I try to make a point of remembering that it ain't the bling, it's the nigga, and that helps me through some of the songs. Still, one stands out in my mind. Largely because, in typical radio fashion, they play it about four times every hour. As with most rap songs, the lyrics really evoke an emotion, and challenge the listener. In this case, they do so by saying:
    maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Tae bo
    and possibly bend you over
    look back and watch me
    smack that, all on the floor
    smack that, give me some more
    smack that, 'til you get sore
    smack that, oooh.
    Bend you over and, yes, smack that, smack that 'til you get sore.
    And they say romance is dead..

    LET THERE BE LAMP! What? Let there.. oh bugger.
    08 January 2007 : 15.04
    Mad decorating frenzy! I've been meaning to replace all of the furniture and things I chucked out the last time I moved since.. well, since I moved. Finally getting around to it, and shopping like a maniac.
    Yes I'm straight. Shut up.
    Anyway, I've replaced just about everything in my kitchen, got a new computer desk, lamps, chairs, and various other bits. Not since the era of the Vikings has there been such pillaging and plundering. Now, I'm off to find some booty.

    Actually, the lamps are pretty spiffy. They're by MÅNSKEN, and both halogen and coloured LED. The LEDs are in the three primary colours, and fade from one to the next, so eventually they cycle through all of the possible combinations of the three. And you can stop them at any time, so you can have any colour of light you like. At the moment I keep them on a sort of pale blue-green-white colour, so it's like my apartment is always bathed in moonlight.

    In other news, some people say that I exaggerate when I say that americans are stupid.
    It's hard to justify that claim when you see headlines like this:

    Texan boy, 10, in copycat tragedy
    A 10-year-old boy in the US accidentally hanged himself while apparently mimicking the execution of Saddam Hussein.

    What kind of moron tries to emulate an execution? It's probably for the best that he killed himself. Those aren't genes that humanity needs in the pool. His parents must be so embarrassed.

    That said, it looks as though the democrats in yankeeland are finally able to take some sort of positive action. I'm talking, of course, about War Profiteering Prevention Act of 2007. Yes, it's rather too late to make any real difference, but the important thing is the message that it sends. It's a public recognition of the behaviour of bushco's government, and the real motivation behind its actions. Regardless of anything else that the act says or does, or the speeches that go along with it, the fact that it is named as it is, and in the middle of a war started by the republicans.. that speaks volumes. It's a pretty clear message.
    The democrats have a hell of a lot of work to do to clean up the mess that the republican government has made, but hopefully they'll have the chance to do so. I'd like to see america turn into a country that I'm proud to call my neighbour. At the moment, it's like living next to a trailer park.

    02 January 2007 : 15.34
    Bugger. Still, I'm sure you noticed that the new year happened, even without me here to inform you.
    That officially makes the rapture what, seven years late? Still, not to worry. I'm sure god will get around to it eventually.
    Unless, you know, it's all nonsense.

    So I'm supposed to make resolutions, right? I resolute to give up smoking. That's a good one, isn't it?
    And super easy to keep. I mean, why make a resolution that's difficult? Why start the year with hard work?

    Sadly, I've already had the first migraine of the year, but today I'm fine, and hopefully that one will be enough to tide me over for the next few months.

    And now, I have things to do. This planet isn't going to conquer itself, you know.

    31 December 2006 : 12.17
    Wait for it...
    28 December 2006 : 21.14
    26 December 2006 : 13.21
    How awesome was that xmas? Or chanukka, or festivus, or balkreen festival of the sun. Whatever you celebrate, it was good.
    Sadly, however, it was another xmas which, tragically, did not involve a pantomime. I can't tell you how much I miss them. The social aspect, the fun, the creativity, the humour, the learning. I learned a great deal over the course of the shows, about handling an audience, improvising, and milking a laugh, but if there's one thing that panto taught me, it's that the secret of comedy is

    The Larch
    24 December 2006 : 16.22
    Oh yeah

    Oo! Chimpanzee that! Budgie news, ya ffff...
    24 December 2006 : 16.15
    In the spirit of our lord Pilkington,
    Oooh, chimpanzee that!
    Budgie News

    ya fff..

    The manbudgie has learnt a new word. He recently heard me refer to something as "bollocks" which, for some reason, has been quite common recently, and it must have lodged in his mind, because now he uses it all the time. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to understand the correct application of the term, and so when we get a message from a moron, he'll say something like "He's a bollocks!" in his usual blunt fashion. I've heard mutter mutter bollocks mutter chuckle bollocks chuckle mutter more times than I care to relate. How much does it cost to rent an axe murder, do you think? Would that count as premeditated?
    22 December 2006 : 15.50
    I hate those stupid little online communities that try to come up with their own private language by using acronyms.
    "I haven't been around because I've been ABEND," "I'm sending out a SEPT request," "I'm talking a load of UTTER BOLLOCKS."

    Speaking of linguistic stupidity, why do americans insist on spelling everything out? Okay, Arcee, and even droid names like Artoo-Deetoo and See-Threepio. How retarded is that? How many ways of pronouncing R2D2 or Ok can there be?

    Come to think of it, I've never understood that figure of speech that people use to justify being financially conservative. I refer, of course, to "I'm not made of money."
    Surely if you were made of money, you'd actually be more conservative with your funds, since you'd be spending your own body mass. No? Just think how careful people would be with their spending if they had to pay in their own blood and tissue.
    Of course, it would suck to be a billionaire..
    Yo mamma so fat she richer than Bill Gates!

    Case in point
    December 13 2006 : 13.45
    It's hard to decide which group in this story is the more idiotic, the americans or the christians. It's 2006, people! We should have outgrown religion long ago, but we should certainly be long past the idea of witchcraft and other such nonsense. And yet some moron christian woman, and various christian groups, insist that the Harry Potter books indoctrinate children into paganism. Firstly, no they don't. Secondly, paganism is just as much drivel as christianity. Thirdly, why the hell is the school board even hearing this appeal? How many tax dollars are being wasted because some stupid woman, who hasn't even read the books, I might add, thinks that she has the right to decide what children should or should not be allowed to read?

    christians of the world, we need to have a talk. Sit down, get comfortable. I'm telling you this as someone who is concerned about you. It's an intervention, if you like. This god person? It's a delusion. There's no big man watching you from the sky. I know that it seems very real to you, but no one else can see it. Doesn't that tell you something? It's not real. It's a figment of your imagination. Actually, not even your imagination. It's a figment of someone else's imagination, and you've come to believe it yourself. But it's not real. We're all worried about you. You spend most of your time spouting nonsensical "scripture" and talking to invisible people, and the worst part is, you think that it's the rest of us who are delusional.
    christians, it's time to get help.

    I don't understand it. How is christianity, or any other religion, for that matter, not considered a mental disorder in this day and age? After all, in spite of the rational, scientific explanations for everything, christians insist on the irrational explanation that everthing happens because god does it. They insist that this god is watching them, and they talk to him, even though he isn't there. They insist that everyone else is wrong, even in spite of the overwhelming evidence that directly opposes their religion, and they can't understand why people think that their beliefs are completely nonsensical and irrational. They often have social problems because they insist upon forcing their delusions on others, and aggressively demonstrating their faith. They refuse to accept anything that is in conflict with their religion, preferring to distance themselves from reality than to question their own delusions. They have even been known to turn violent when confronted by something that contradicts their delusion.
    In other words, christians are actually psychotic, and yet they aren't being treated for it.
    You have doubts? Click the owl.

    10 December 2006 : 16.52
    Got me a espresso maker. Oh yes, it's juanderful. The little carafe holds four demi-tasse cups, or one mug. I tell you, nothing starts your day like a mug of espresso.

    06 December 2006 : 22.21
    I went to McDonald's today. I know, I know, say what you like, but sometimes you're just in the mood.
    Anyway, on the counter, they have an advertisement to let customers know that they're hiring. The notice makes the following points:
  • Team environment
  • Fun
  • Free uniforms
  • Discounts on food

  • These are the incentives to work for McDonald's. "Team environment?" Does anyone care? "Fun?" Sure it is, considering the people they have to deal with all day long. How much fun can you have working in a fast food place? "Free uniforms?" This is an incentive? You have to wear this shirt and this hat, but we won't make you pay for the privilege of doing so. Honestly, what are they thinking? "Discounts on food?" How freaking much McFood do you have to eat that this is will make you want to work there?

    The sign should say:
  • Money
  • No one else will hire you

  • That's the only reason that people work at McDonald's. It's not for the fun or the team environment, and certainly not for the free uniforms. It's because they pay, and because anyone can work there.

    02 December 2006 : 17.32
    A coworker of mine just got back from LA, and said that something like every third car down there has a "support our troops" sticker. yanks like to go on about supporting their military, about the good work they're doing in Iraq, and you know, watching this clip, you can really see why. Look at the way these brave and noble american soldiers bring freedom and protection to these Iraqi children. See how they're making life better for the people?

    In case the clip goes away, it's the one of the american soldiers, on a vehicle, taunting Iraqi children with a bottle of water. The children are running desperately after it, and the soldiers are shouting things like "You want the water? Keep running!"
    And the best part? The guy with the camera keeps calling the guy with the water "sarge."

    Yes, america is bringing freedom and dignity to the Iraqi people. Honestly, the yankee military is composed of thugs and bullies, mindless rabble who join the army so that they can hurt people. That's why there are so many horror stories of the way that the american military behaves as soon as it's outside its own territory. There are countless stories of gang rapes, murders, beatings, torture, and so on.
    So go on america, support your troops. They're representing your country abroad. Makes you proud to be an american, doesn't it?

    01 December 2006 : 13.22
    Happy AIDS Day!
    Or don't we say that?

    26 November 2006 : 11.30
    Bugger. As anticipated.

    from the Broadway and Cambie traffic camera

    from the Grandview and Rupert traffic camera

    23 November 2006 : 20.20
    Ah. It's moderately chilly, and the rain, when not coming down in torrents, is falling in light, fluttery drops. I'm no meteorologist, but I'd say that we'll have snow here within the week. And probably quite a bit of it. That's terribly unfortunate.. BC drivers are terrible at snow. The whole city gets all tense and nervous, and people crash into things.

    I blame the fact that people are stupid. Don't you wish you could just grab them and say "Stop. Think." and they would? Wouldn't the world be a better place if people used their brains? The thing that sets humanity apart from the other animals is supposed to be its intelligence, and yet if you look at the average human, you see someone who uses his or her brain only as much as is necessary to survive in the modern world. It's a commonly held belief that humans are more intelligent than chimpanzees, but in terms of practical application of that intelligence, that doesn't seem to be the case. Most people use just enough of their brains to get them through their day to day lives, but there's no spark of curiosity about how the world around them works, no problem-solving, no logic or common sense. Humanity as a whole seems to be terribly anti-intellectual, which is stupid since it's humanity's intellect that makes it different from the other species on this small planet. We're talking about a species that cares more about the movement of little bits of paper (well, cotton) and metal than it does about fundamental things air and water. That's what it comes down to. Environmental disaster looms, but many countries can't make the necessary changes to avert catastrophe because of the impact on their economy. And yet, when someone runs back into a fire to save his valuables, and gets burnt to death, we say that he's stupid for caring more about wealth than about his life. Literature, faerie tales, religion, movies, human stories are filled with morals about how people who care more about money than life come to a messy end, and yet that's just the direction in which the species as a whole tends to lean.

    21 November 2006 : 16.32
    Michael Richards recently went on a racist tirade. Stupid man. Did he learn nothing from Albi?
    For those who may not be aware, Albi The Racist Dragon is the song that was used to stop racism in New Zealand by Flight Of The Conchords. Flight Of The Conchords are, of course, known in rap circles as the Hiphopopotamus and the Rhymnoceros.
    17 November 2006 : 19.52
    "And god so loved the world that he sent a storm to destroy a skating rink filled with preschool children."

    What a nice guy. But at least he's still sending commissions to my coworker. That balances out pretty well.

    16 November 2006 : 22.14
    Two well-known phrases occur just at the moment. "Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink," and "too much of a good thing."
    We've had a torrential downpour recently, and this has caused landslides which have compromised the reservoirs. Just about everyone's water is full of bacteria, and for some areas, it's actually full of silt. I woke up this morning to brown water. Mmm..
    Unfortunately, the last time I moved, I gave away my water cooler, so I have no reserve. The shops are completely out of bottled water, since the media release instantly sparked a panicked stampede.
    There's no water anywhere. Seriously, you've never seen Starbucks and Tim Horton so empty. Nowhere is serving coffee, or anything else that's made with water. Restaurants can't wash anything, so they can't serve food. The water supply at work has been turned off. You should have seen the way my office ground to a halt when there was no coffee.. it was tragic. Like working amongst the walking dead. It was as bad the WWII trenches. The sense of desperation in some, of hopeless resignation in others.. I think that some of them were close to cracking.

    Some people lined up for hours to get into the shops in the hope of buying bottled water, only to find that no one had any left.
    Personally, I just built a distillery in my kitchen using a couple of rolled up chopping boards, a blender carafe, a kettle, and a pot. Yeah I'm a geek. But a geek with problem-solving skills. And plenty of water.

    There has been concern that the water warnings were only released in English and French, and that people who don't speak those languages may not be aware of them.
    I have a brilliant idea to resolve this issue. How about those people learn to speak one of the official languages of the country in which they live? I know, it's radical, but it's just crazy enough to work.
    Canada is about diversity, yes, but realistically, when you move to a new country, you do have to adapt a little, and learning to communicate with the people of your new country isn't so much to ask, is it? Sure, people want to speak their native language, and that's fine, but why are voting booths available in Chinese, Korean, Punjabi, etc? As I see it, if you can't be bothered to learn one of the languages of your adopted country, you really shouldn't have a say in the government.

    08 November 2006 : 16.47
    My bank called me this morning to offer me ten thousand dollars. The conversation went something like this:

    Bank: How would you like ten thousand dollars?
    Me: In money.
    Bank: You drive a hard bargain.
    Me: Yes. They're more economical than cars, you know.

    After which it degenerated into insults and recriminations. My bank never really loved me.

    Sweeping victory for the democrats in the yankee elections. That can only be a good thing, but they're going to have a hell of a job ahead of them cleaning up the mess. Still, it sends a clear message to the yanks who still support the republicans, and the republicans themselves. Not only that, it's seen around the world as a rejection of the bushy administration. This is important. america, being the heavy, bloated mass that it is has an effect upon all of the other countries in the world. Big and stupid they may be, but they're also very influential, in terms of economy and military, and so their actions impact the rest of us. I don't care if the yankee government runs their own country into the ground, but it does concern me how that affects the rest of us.

    04 November 2006 : 16.25
    Oh dear. Didn't america pride itself on its vast military? And yet, now they want to take control of the UN peacekeepers around the world. That would be a disaster. If the yanks got hold of the UN Peacekeepers, they'd send them to Iraq, and that would have the effect of lending an air of credibility to their blatant invasion.
    Having said that, the yankee military is making such a mess in Iraq that it might be necessary for the rest of the world to go in and clean up after them. But for god's sake, don't let the americans control the UN forces. They're peacekeepers, and the americans are warmongers. The two are not compatible.
    america has only 335 peacekeepers in the UN, but they contribute five billion dollars a year to the UN peacekeeping budget. That's very generous of them, I know. Not only are they contributing a great deal of money, they're not inflicting too many of their own incompetent personnel on the peacekeepers. I realise that that's seemingly very generous of them, but then they have to go and say something like this:

    “We pay the most,” the US official said. “It almost goes without saying that if the americans are spending the most money on peacekeeping we should have a say in the management of it. It’s about time.”

    Ok, take your money and fuck off, then. You don't get to buy the UN, you ass. If you want to contribute, that's great, but the amount that you contribute doesn't directly translate into the amount of control you have. The peacekeepers are a UN force, not a mercenary force, and they're not for sale to the highest bidder. So if you want to contribute to the UN, that's great. If you want to buy the UN, you can take your money, and stuff it up your deficit.

    america started this war with its illegal invasion of Iraq. It's spent years now beating its chest and flexing its muscles and rattling its sabres. It got itself into this mess, it can get itself out. Or, it can come to the UN and politely ask for help.

    03 November 2006 : 13.31
    what. the. FUCK!? In this day and age, when we're all concerned about conserving the environment, and the multitude of species that are threatened by humanity's activities, in a time where nations all over the world, conservation groups, environmentalists, biologists, and virtually everyone else, are all coming together to condemn and denounce those nations that still engage in the barbaric, cruel, and frankly unnecessary practice of whaling (I'm looking at you japan), what the hell is iceland thinking by starting? And not just any whales, but endangered fin whales? jesus christ iceland, what the fuck is wrong with you? This is inexcusable.
    Quite aside from which, it's fucking stupid. One of iceland's greatest tourist attractions is its whale watching industry. People come from all over the world to see the big, beautiful giants in their natural habitat, and now iceland's moronic government has decided that it's ok to kill those magnificent creatures. Not only does this turn the tide of public opinion overwhelmingly against iceland, but it demolishes the tourist trade in two ways. Certainly, people who love to watch whales are not about to visit a country that openly hunts them, and if they keep doing so, particularly the endangered species, there won't be anyone left in the oceans to watch.
    They had a good thing going, and there is absolutly no justification for this act.

    Whales are living beings. They're intelligent, peaceful, and harmless, but iceland is calling them "a resource," and sverrir haukur gunnlaugsson, an icelandic ambassador, says that "iceland has the right to use its resources. We believe that we have this unalienable right,"

    I believe that sverrir haukur gunnlaugsson should be stabbed in the eyes for that attitude, but I'm not allowed to do it because it's against the law. Just like the hunting of whales is against international law. The government officials who permitted these attrocities to go on should be viciously beaten, and then nailed up with harpoons in a public place. And left to starve to death. In the cold. After having their credit cards revoked.
    Thirty-nine whales, they've decided to murder. Thirty-nine innocent creatures. It's obscene. I can't begin to express how it sickens me.

    Fucking humans. Why must everything be destroyed, no matter how wonderful or beautiful or grand?
    31 October 2006 : 00.00
    Or booga, if you prefer.

    29 October 2006 : 07.14
    The Parade Of The Lost Souls happened this year, and I bloody went.

    It wasn't bad, actually. Way under organised, but not bad. I'll blather on about it in depth when I have a chance, but I'll definitely go again. Next year, I think I'll need to gather a crowd of people to go with me. Much more fun that way.

    27 October 2006 : 18.05
    The Parade Of The Lost Souls happens this year, and I'm bloody going.

    The Hedgehog
    23 October 2006 : 17.19
    Today is history day, and so we'll be looking at the sixties and the seventies.
    The sixties were generally known for being the decade of free love. I was all into free love when I was younger. Oh yes, I was all about the free love. Then I grew out of it, and started asking for payment in advance.

    The seventies were the decade that would become known to later generations mainly for two things: brown cars and porn soundtracks. At a stretch, you can include inexcusable moustaches, enormous sideburns, and rampant chest hair as 70s icons, if you really feel that you must. Of course, we shouldn't be too harsh when we look back. The 70s was a decade that did do something good for future generations. It ended. Let's all take a moment to express our appreciation by enjoying some of the technological innovations that the 70s brought us.
    Paper, for example. The internal combustion engine. The giant squid. These are things that we take for granted every day, but which wouldn't be here were it not for the 70s. That plate from which you're eating your dinner? That was the 70s. Rollerskates, umbrellas, Habeas Corpus (except in modern america), aquaducts, and the lemon. Without the 70s, all of this and more would be absent from our day to day lives. So the next time you're treated with penicillin, take a moment to remember the 70s, and all it did for us.

    Speaking of porn soundtracks, it's funny the effect that music can have on a person, isn't it? It changes the mood, affects the state of mind. For example, for most people, calm music decreases stress, while angry music puts them on edge. Personally, I find that listening to Evanescence makes me feel like an angsty goth girl. But then, everyone has the occasional strange craving.

    a diagram of religion
    Figure 4
    21 October 2006 : 13.25
    Now this is interesting. The various yankee states in order of education, among other details. Explains how the governator got elected..

    And speaking of genius, this person is clearly in that category. Briefly, there was a snowstorm in New York, and during that storm, a couple of tree branches fell on a statue of jesus, the well-known Mexican messiah, and landed in the shape of a christian cross. Sure, no one put them there or anything. Anyway, the person thinks that it's a sign that "a higher power was watching over her family during the storm."
    I think that a better sign would have been, you know, not creating the storm in the first place. Hello? If your god is such a nice guy, why is he attacking your city with storms at all? Some might say that sending a storm, and then giving a sign that you're watching over the people who are trapped in that storm is just attention whoring.

    Religion is such a load of utter bollocks. (see Figure 4 for diagram)

    ta DA!!
    21 October 2006 : 00.35
    Saw The Prestige last night.
    So, yeah.. how 'bout that local sports team?
    Actually, it's not all that bad. Not exactly historically accurate, perhaps, but visually pretty impressive.
    Of course, for all of that, it's the worst retelling of Dr. Zhivago I've ever seen.

    I wanted to do a rewrite of that particular story myself, actually. I wanted to make it a horror story, though. The Island Of Dr. Zhivago was what I had in mind. A terrifying tale of a man stranded on an island of hideous monsters during their revolution against the doctor/poet who rules over them. Adding to the conflict, our protagonist is torn between two women. Mainly because they're both part hyena. It's kind of a horror love story, but with a moral about vivisection in the Soviet Union of the 1950s. I thought it would make a great musical. It's just a shame that I'll never be able to get Vincent Price to play Yuri.

    Speaking of that local sports team, I have developed a defence against being asked about sports events. You see, I don't follow sports. At all. But being a male, it's assumed that I watched The Game. So now, when someone asks "did you see the game last night?" I respond with "yeah, how 'bout that goal, huh?" or "yeah, I can't believe that call."
    It's pretty certain that the person will take that comment and run with it, and give me a bit more feedback to bluff my way through. If in doubt, I can always make reference to "the second," since that sounds convincing.
    Chances are that I don't even know what the sport in question might be, but it's a pretty safe bet that it involves a goal, and that there was a call at some point. Whatever a call is.

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