thanks for choosing god.

speaking of scams...
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

18 August 2004 : 16.08
Oy.. I tell you. I've been so busy lately! I have relatives coming to visit from England in just over three weeks, who will be staying with me for two weeks.
I haven't seen them in a good fifteen years, I think. It's going to be an experience, but I'm sure that it will be good. :)

Geek stuff:
Having been terribly disappointed with the iMac I bought a while ago, but still wanting to get back into the wonderful world of the non-Windows OS after so much time immersed in the evil, I'm giving Debian GNU/Linux a go in the form of Knoppix.
I bought a cheap old iMac with the intent of learning to use the OS and switching all of my web design stuff to it. I just use Notepad and Photoshop anyway, so it wouldn't be too difficult. It was a cheap old one because Apple hardware is obscenely expensive, and I wanted to be certain that I would actually use the thing before pouring a lot of money into it. Thank goodness I did. See, unfortunately, the Mac OS makes no sense. Little things that you'd think wouldn't matter just drive me bonkers. For example, I can't grab the top left corner of a window to resize it. I have to move the entire window to where I want it, and then resize using the handle at the bottom right. There's no maximise function, so if I want a full screen of one particular window, tough. The whole menu-driven thing is really weak. The OS has a bugger of a time accessing the Windows workgroup in which all of my other machines exist, so it can't get to my file server. Graphically, it's a beautiful operating system. But that's all. And that's not enough when Window Maker, KDE, and Enlightenment (to name but a few window managers) can be all of that and so much more.
For those not familiar with Knoppix, it's a live CD of Debian GNU/Linux which runs entirely from RAM. So you start your system with the CD in your drive, boot from the CD, and you're into GNU/Linux. Just like that. No installing, no configuring, no problem. I don't even need a hard drive.
It's excellent. Firstly, I don't have to sacrifice one of my existing systems in order to get into it. Secondly, I can do anything I like to it. Anything. No matter how badly I break it, I just restart the system and it's right back to the CD image. Driver support is really good, too. It detects and configures everything in my computer.

Which can be kind of irritating if I've customised the hell out of it and then have to restart. But so far it's been immensely stable, so there's been no need to restart it. And anyway, I can create a persistent directory on my hard drive to hold my configuration files, so it doesn't have to revert.
Not that I've had time to do much with it, mind you.
It can read and write NTFS, so it can access files on any of my other hard drives, and it can see the Windows workgroup, so it can get to my file server. And it comes with a huge collection of software- graphics tools, an office suite, games, multimedia, file utilities, Internet tools.. more . So far I'm loving it very thoroughly.

A far better movie than Catwoman, with a much more talented star.
6 August 2004 : 12.46
So in spite of the reviews, I saw Catwoman.
No, I really did. Some people have said that it's a bad movie. Allow me to correct that evaluation:
It isn't a bad movie. It is quite possibly the worst movie that I've ever seen.
And I'm into Mystery Science Theater 3000, so that's saying something. The movie has tremendous power.. it draws you right in. What I'm saying is that it really, really sucks. The dialogue is laughable (but it's not supposed to be), acting is clumsy, and the story is only

If only MST3K were still running.. I would love to see this on a box cover. Sadly, I had to make the graphic myself.
slightly more contrived and ridiculous than you might see on Superfriends.
But you're thinking hey, at least the movie is full of eye-candy, right?
Nope. In fact, that was the one thing that I was expecting to actually enjoy, and yet it was crushingly disappointing. You'd expect Catwoman herself to come across as sulty, slinky, sexy, and lots of other words that end in y. What you get is closer to an unintentionally comedic strip act as performed by a nervous schoolgirl with no coordination and some manner of stomach disorder. Without the redeeming quality that nudity might eventually bring to such uncomfortable flailing. Honestly, it's embarrassing to watch. As much as Halle probably got for this movie, I sincerely doubt that it's going to turn out to have been enough. This humiliation is going to be with her for a long, long time. And as for Sharon Stone.. I'm not angry. Just disappointed.

But what if you're not a movie person? Fear not gamers, for you have not been forgotten. With the advent of Spider-Man, video game companies have started producing really sweet games to accompany the movies. Ok, so I can only think of that one example at the moment, but it sets the precedent, so my point is still valid. Moving on. Spider-Man was great, and the "Spider-Man: The Movie" game was awesome, so Catwoman might be the worst movie ever made, but at least we get a great game out of it, right? One out of two is ok, yes?
I have to say, in all honesty, that the game captures the spirit of the movie beautifully.
If you've been paying attention, you've probably realised by now that I mean that it sucks just as hard. No, it doesn't. But that's just because only an industrial drainage pump could suck as hard as the movie. Maybe. The game makes a valiant effort, though, and does its best to live up to the suckfest that was Catwoman. Visually, it's fairly average, but don't let that fool you. The play control sucks, the voice acting is flat and wooden (it bored me. Ha! Bored? Board? Please yourselves.) and the levels are devoid of anything remotely interesting to do. The camera gives you a great view of virtual Halle, so if you're into pixels you're in luck. Unfortunately, it's so busy doing that that it doesn't really show you where your character is walking. Given how much time you spend hopping from roof to roof, that's a bit of a problem. So, too, is the combat system, which allows you to hit the target easily as long as he's standing directly in front of you. In order to line up the target with your attack, you seem to spend a lot of time running mindlessly in circles. But so does the movie, so maybe it's a tie-in. Oh, and the music bites. It's slightly less moving than the sound of grey.

I don't recommend that you see the movie. Or play the game. Ever. What I do recommend is that every copy is found and locked in a hermetically sealed container until human kind is advanced enough to deal with such a powerful kind of evil.

If you don't stand for anything, you don't standfor anything! - Gov. George W. Bush to a packed rally at Bellevue Community College
5 August 2004 : : 17.32
Wow.. ah, politics in yankeeland.
That's really frightening. Not that there's a wacko like this, and not even that he's allowed to run for public office. The frightening part is that yankees will vote for him. Some will vote because they actually like his policies. Others will vote just because all that matters is that they vote republican, and if he's the only republican...
Though I really, really doubt that he will come close to winning.
I wonder if he's aware that his ancestors must have been black. I doubt it. He probably thinks that his original ancestor was a white guy in a garden.

What amazes me is that thirty-three states passed eugenics laws. I knew that america was seriously messed up, but I didn't realise that it was that bad.

In a related story, perhaps george w. bush isn't that far removed from humanity after all.
04 August 2004 : 15.23
What the FUCK!?

03 August 2004 : 10.45
Twenty-four hours after deleting all of the spam on my computer, and my spam folder is at 3600, and still climbing.

spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam and spam!
02 August 2004 : 18.45
[ sigh ] At 10.45 this morning I deleted all of my spam. It's 6.45 now, and so far I have received 1034 spam messages. How ridiculous is that? Spammers say that people make too much of a fuss about spam, that it's a minor task to unsubscribe from the spam lists to which one is added. Does this seem remotely realistic? If I tried to unsubscribe from every spam list to which I have been added I'd have time to do little else.
Not that I'm upset about the spam. A little matter of over a thousand messages in just eight hours? Of course not. Why would I be upset that my addresses have been harvested by the spammers, added to lists without my permission? Why should it bother me that I'm continually deluged with unsolicited advertisements for products or services in which I have absolutely no interest, thereby making it much more difficult to make practical use of my email? No, I'm not upset that I have to have at least two spam filters to catch all of the spam, and that I then have to go through the spam anyway to make certain that no legitimate mail has been accidentally filtered.
Though I do believe that all spammers should be located and flayed alive.

1 August 2004 : 16.10
Someone on Fark expressed opinions about the whole gay marriage issue that they're having in yankeeland. I liked it so much I bought the company.

Speaking of companies (god I'm smooth in a segue), I had to go to corporate training the other day. Lots of "a complaint is a gift" nonsense, full of corporate drivel like positive self-talk and powerful and powerless words, and that sort of pap. Honestly, people get paid to write this stuff?
I was asked to produce a goal. I wrote "I will keep a positive attitude. I already have a positive attitude, but it sucks."
The subtle wit was lost.
Of course, when I say subtle what I actually mean is blindingly obvious to all but the most completely assimilated corporate drone.
I am so in the wrong field. I can't stand this corporate nonsense. Really need to do something about that.

Violently-Happy ever after
Violently-Happy ever after
31 July 2004 : 14.06
It's Pride Weekend! Hence the front page logo. Unfortunately, I'm not going to get out to see the parade. That sucks. I have to work. What can you do?

On the positive side, I searched the web (albeit not terribly extensively) and, and was unable to find any stories or sites related to protesting the pride parade. Can it be that the bible-thumpers are learning tolerance?

Which reminds me. I went to a wedding recently. Can't stand weddings, of course, but this was a wedding between a friend of mine (of like fourteen years) and the person she's been with for eight years, who is really nice. They're a sweet couple.
Unfortunately, my friend's family didn't come. Not one of them. They had a religious problem with my friend marrying another woman. Ooh, you've got to love those christians, huh? Passing judgement on everyone and everything which doesn't conform to their narrow little worldview.
I mean, how horrible is that attitude? I'm not going to my own daughter's/sister's/whatever's wedding because I have a problem with her marrying the person she loves. What's wrong with people like that, that their christ-addled brains put religion before family?
But it was a good wedding, attended by people who actually care. And that's what matters most.
I've mentioned before that I don't see the point of marriage (except possibly in legal matters like custody and taxes), and that still holds. However, I realise that other people do, and I don't see why the gender of each of the people involved is a matter for anyone but those people to worry about. If you're not one of the two, you don't have the right to have a problem with it. End of story.

Personally, I'm not gay, as you can tell from my questionable sense of style, but I'm very fortunate that I have the family I have because if I were gay I'd never have to have been in a closet, and there'd never be any problems with the situation. It's times like that wedding that make me appreciate my family and my friends that much more than I already do.

So in the spirit of Pride Weekend, and my friend's new marriage, here's to happiness with whoever helps you find it, and to pride in who you are, whatever anyone else thinks.

for no reason at all.
28 July 2004 : 14.12
Ta da! Here I am! Yay me!
Ok, shut up. I've been busy. I've had to.. erm..
I've been busy, ok?

So what's happened since last I updated this page? Hm? My email computer died, taking with it all of my messages. So sorry to everyone who sent hatemail or happy mail and hasn't heard back.. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

The Liberals won. Sw33t. As it should be. But that was disturbingly close.

Added a link to my friend Tristan's site. I was looking through my Friends section and was horrified to discover that there wasn't a link there yet, so that's been fixed.
Not nearly enough of my friends have web sites. That needs to be addressed, people.

and.. er.. more exciting things as I remember them.

27 June 2004 : 15.08
You've got!

Ok, maybe you haven't got gmail. But I have!
Gmail beta. Who's a sexy bitch?

Modified the index page because of the upcoming election.

24 June 2004 : 14.49
More McHappy Mail today. Yay!
23 June 2004 : 13.14
Today, in the spirit of peace, goodwill, and tolerance, I give you the site of the christian heritage party.
The christian heritage party styles itself "your responsible choice"
And what could be more responsible than a pro-life organisation which believes in the supremecy of a giant bearded pixie in the sky? An organisation whose very existence opposes the separation of church and state which exists in Canada. Freedom of religion, freedom from religion.. these are clearly irresponsible positions, and the christian heritage party will, of course, protect us from them if they are ever elected.
Fortunately, the christian heritage party is the laughing stock of the Canadian political arena, so that's not going to happen.

The christian heritage party says on its site that "a militant Secularist minority has captured our society's four most influential institutions: the governments, the courts, the media and the tax-funded education of our children."

Minority? That's funny, because last I checked, BC doesn't have a minority of secular people, but a majority. As to the rest of the country, we're only behind catholics and protestants in sheer numbers.
Actually, if you think about it, catholics and protestants breed like fruitflies because they seem to think that that's what their god wants, while atheists tend not to breed as quickly because we know how to operate condoms and things, and because we don't tend to believe that the sole function of a woman is that of a factory. And yet we're still gradually catching up. Even in spite of their frantic breeding, they're losing their lead. It's only a matter of time until religion is something that most people look at as quaint and outdated, like superstition. Which is all it is, essentially.
Hell, here in BC it seems that the assumption is that you're atheist unless you say otherwise.

The christian heritage party says on its site that "militant secularists and homosexuals are the true ‘hate criminals’ in 21st century Canada." - reference
Making sweeping, generalised, unfounded statements.. that's what makes the christian heritage party your responsible choice!
feh. Bloody christians. At their best they're misguided, hiding behind their bibles from the facts rather learning about the world around them. They're goofy but harmless. At their worst.. well, just look at this guy. You want to see something even more scary? Try reading their weekly communiques.
Wow... reminds me of bushco. The difference, of course, is that in Canada a party that far into the religious right is not taken seriously. In america, on the other hand, it's running the country.
19 June 2004 : 17.34
Oy, this heat.. I've had a constant headache from it for the last few days. Yesterday was thirty-two degrees! The hottest day so far, I think.

Moron at work going on about how humans aren't supposed to eat meat. Drivel drivel drivel "... and god didn't tell adam to go and kill animals..." etc etc.
Nonsense, pure and simple. Just look at the teeth! How many times do I have to make that point?
But this guy's making it a cultural superiority issue. Indian guy.. he actually said "why do you think caucasians get so much cancer?"
Yeah, it's because they eat meat. Right. He's lecturing another of my coworkers on what she should be eating and drinking, and all of his knowledge (and I use the term loosely) comes from fad diets and the opinions of just about anyone who can write a book.
After all, there's no need for facts if you can write a book, right?
Apparently, according to this guy, changing your diet can cure cancer. Imagine! All of those medical scientists have been slaving away for how long working on a cure, and all along the answer was in their lunchboxes.
feh. Mind you, I shouldn't be surprised that he believes all of that fad diet pap. He did use the christian bible as an argument, after all. That pretty much ruins any credibility a person has.
It's amazing what people will believe.
Speaking of which, and I'm talking to the advertisers now, would you shut up about the smegging atkins diet, please!?
Honestly, if I hear one more commercial about "carbs" I'm going to.. well, I'm not certain what I'm going to do, but it will be harsh. It might even involve... sarcasm.
I myself have come up with a great alternative to the atkins diet. In fact, it's a great alternative to just about any diet.
I like to call it "exercise"
Exercise will make you lose weight!
Exercise will give you that figure you've always wanted!
Defined arms, killer abs, tight buttocks, Exercise can do it all!
And best of all, Exercise will actually improve your health!
Tired of back pain from strained muscles? Exercise them!
Tired of sore arms and legs after the slightest exertion? Exercise them!
But that's not all! Exercise can even strengthen your heart, improving circulation and reducing health risks! And Exercise can help your mind, enhance your sex life, and even restore your hair!
Don't wait! Try Exercise today!

Every breath you take...
18 June 2004 : 17.23
I heard on the radio that Lindsay Lohan is in trouble for using the word "retarded" to describe things as being bad or stupid.
That's so gay.

Heh heh heh...

Ok, in other news: more McHappy Mail! Yay!

Also, I've received a few requests for the story where the police had to call backup to give me a warning about speeding, so here we go:

It wasn't late. Maybe 11.30 pm or so, and I was on my way back from sushi with a couple of friends, heading from Richmond into Vancouver. If you know Richmond at all, you likely know that it's just crawling with cops, and that speeding is a dangerous activity.
Typical story.. driving along, doing about 75 in a 50 zone, glanced in the mirror, BAM on went the lights. (Police lights do go BAM. Yes they do. Shut up.)
The major roads in Richmond don't have anywhere convenient for pulling over, so if you stop you're blocking traffic. I didn't want to cause any problems, so I pulled off the road and into the nearest parking lot, the RCMP car right behind me. I muttered, I grumbled, I dug out my license and vehicle registration, opened my window, and waited.
And waited.
And waited. Still no cop.
And then another car arrived, pulling in behind the first, and on the other side of my own car. Lights were flashing everywhere as the two officers slowly approached, hands on guns, from each side.
Perhaps a touch extreme for a ticket, don't you think? Eventually, the one on my side reached my window, staying well back so that I had to dislocate my spine if I wanted to turn around to look at him, and asked why I had pulled off the road. So I told him. The cop on the other side was busily checking out the two girls in the car, asking whether they were alright, which they were.
They took my driver's license and disappeared back to their cars for a while, until eventually the backup cop left and mine brought my license back to me, grilling me about the various details. Finally he got around to the reason that he had stopped me.
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"Uh, no. Maybe sixty?"
"Well, you were going a little faster than that. I'm just going to give you a warning this time, but be more careful in the future, ok?"
My guess is that he was a bit new, and my somewhat unpredictable behaviour in getting off the road so that I didn't bother other drivers rattled him enough that he had to call backup, and forgot to get the radar reading on my speed, so he didn't have anything with which to charge me.
So, essentially, the RCMP had to call backup just to give me a warning, just for speeding.
Yeah, I'm dangerous. Look out!

13 June 2004 : 13.16
Once again: vote Liberal. Unless, of course, you want a Canadian version of the patriot act... that's where the conservatives are heading.

We should not only vote against the conservatives, we should encase them in thirty-four tonnes of cement and ship them down to the america they love so much.

wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka wakka chikka
12 June 2004 : 14.22
Things that I don't understand: why on earth would a woman fake an orgasm? I mean, how is that doing either partner a favour?
Unless, of course, you're just not enjoying the activity and want to get it over with. Who hasn't faked for that reason? Though males are, as I understand it, far less likely to fake than females. I think that that's because it's harder to tell...

And without going into too much detail, I was reading a discussion on the subject, and someone made a comment which involved guys learning to "Hunt for Red October"


Why is that so funny? Tacky, but funny...

Don't be a moron. Vote Liberal.
11 June 2004 : 15.34
The Liberals have been increasing the pressure to, what I think, they should have been doing all along. I don't think that enough people really get the idea behind the conservative platform, and I think that only the Liberals can get the message out.

Bottom line, only a moron could possibly vote for the conservatives. Their promises are unrealistic (cutting taxes yet increasing spending), and counter-Canadian in far too many ways. They will damage women's rights, immigration, social programs, environmental protection, equality programs, and with their support of the bush foreign policy mentality, they will jeopardise our place in the world. We'll become regarded as the yankees are. They want to increase the size of our military. They'll do terrible damage to everything that Canada is, and they absolutely must not win this election. I don't want to live in little america.

If you value what Canada stands for, if you value what Canada is, vote Liberal on June 28th.
It's never been as important as it is this time.
11 June 2004 : 13.07
So last night I went to the theatre to see a show that a good friend of mine is in. I was there by myself, so for the half-hour before curtain I was rather bored. So I was lost in my own world, swirling what was left of my water around in the bottom of my little plastic bottle, when some woman decided to belittle me.
I should mention, at this point, that I looked kind of unkempt last night. Spiky hair, wrinkled shirt unbuttoned over a grey t-shirt, faded jeans, 10-hole Docs, that sort of thing. Not quite punk, but getting there. This woman, on the other hand, was one of those who travel in herds from theatre to art gallery to theatre, overly made-up, perpetually posing, ridiculously bejewelled. The sort of woman who cuts people down to make herself look better in the eyes of her equally useless friends.
So the woman leant over to me, where I was swirling my water, and said in a patronising tone "It's water."
[ mentally rolling up sleeves. you wanna play that game, huh? ]
"Why yes, indeed it is. However, I believe that it is the Second Law of Thermodynamics that states that, due to entropy, in any exchange of energy some of that energy will inevitably be lost as heat. I am attempting, through artificially stimulated Brownian motion utilising the impurities in the water, to determine whether the continuous transmission of kinetic energy into the fluid will generate sufficient heat to detectably raise its temperature. However, I have my doubts as to whether this is the case given the thermal conductivity quotient of the plastic from which this bottle was moulded, combined with the fact that this bottle hardly constitutes a closed system. What do you think?"
Nonsense, of course, but it had the desired effect. She had nothing to say, so she just turned back to her small group of morons and got back to posing.
I hate people.

Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the united states.
10 June 2004 : 12.32
I see Reagan finally died. It's about bloody time. Senile old bastard.
But wait, his moronic Star Wars program will live on thanks to team dubya.
Bloody republicans.

Speaking of good ol' georgie, I watched a short documentary last night on skull and bones, one of those stupid secret societies to which so many important people belong. Honestly, what is with this human need to belong to, or even just believe in, something elite? The masons, the illuminati, the kk bloody k. It's just so ridiculous. Why do people feel this desperate need to belong, this drive that attracts them to organisations that are inherently silly, like secret societies, cults, and organised religion? (that there's a difference in those last two is debatable)
The wiccans, the mansons, the heaven's gate crowd, probably even the frelling boy scouts. It's all just driven by the need to belong. And that's what I don't understand. My mother, amateur behavioural anthropologist (with an IQ of 156 she can be anything she likes), speculates that it's because the human species evolved living in family groups, and in this day and age those family groups barely exist. Typical primate family groups are pretty large, while humans tend to have families of between two and five. For a species with an innate need to belong to a larger group, I imagine that that's pretty unsatisfying. Her theory is far more extensive than that, but I won't get into it here.
But what about the silly rituals? Cults, secret societies, they all have these silly rituals that outsiders aren't allowed to see. How does that contribute to the feeling of belonging? My mother suggests that ritual is a formalisation which is necessary to the human psyche. I, however, suspect that the sense of belonging isn't enough. Humans seem to be naturally pretty insecure, and I suspect that this is the result of evolving from a species pretty low on its food chain (yes, it's a food web). That being the case, just being part of the secret society probably isn't enough to ensure the feeling of belonging. Rather, the individual needs some secret knowledge that not only allows them to know things that others outside the society don't, but makes them feel as though they have been entrusted with something. You give someone a secret, you're trusting them, and that secret is leverage. So if you know the secret handshake or initiation ritual or whatever else, you have a little bit of power over the society, and that makes you feel more secure.
Which brings us back to the need to belong. Humans need to belong because they are inherently insecure. Obviously not all of them, but a hell of a majority. But even being part of something doesn't satisfy that need for security, so they have to ritualise that belonging.
Which suggests that those humans who do not feel a need to belong are inherently more secure, thus more distant from their instincts, and therefore further from their ancestors. So would it then be fair to say that the greater the need to belong, the more primitive the outlook of the subject? If so, that would explain a great deal.

Anyway, people have tried to expose the skull and bones thing, publishing books and photos, etc etc. The best way to make the whole thing fall apart is to ruin the secrecy. So why hasn't someone stuck a fibre optic camera into the place, recorded a few of their ridiculous rituals, and stuck them on Kazaa? It would be untraceable, and impossible to reverse. The secrets are out, it's no longer a secret society, it becomes a big joke and no one really cares any more. The technology exists.. why doesn't anyone do it? Hell, I would were I in the vicinity.
There's this, of course, but not being familiar with new york newspapers, I don't know whether it's reliable or a tabloid.

The manbudgie is muttering to himself. I think he's thinking out loud, but it's hard to tell.

I. Am.
09 June 2004 : 18.36
More delightful McHappy Mail! Yay!

After a brief political discussion with a friend, added a section on the upcoming election to get my thoughts down.
04 June 2004 : 20.29
And in other news: yay! The bush approval rating is at an all time low! Fifty-four percent of yankees surveyed said that they think that the invasion of Iraq was a mistake.
Wow.. the world-wide protests didn't get through to them, but time managed it. Time and bushco's disastrous mishandling of the situation. And the complete lack of "weapons of mass destruction" that they supposedly knew for a fact were there.
But perhaps this will make the important difference, and the yankee people won't vote for bush, or more realistically, cheney, again. After all, cheney is the one running the show. Everyone knows that by now, don't they?

04 June 2004 : 19.39
Really like this car plaque. I might have to get one...
I'd rather that the bigger fish just said "Truth" though, like the bible thumper version. The legs are all the rebuttal necessary, I think.

Yay! Another Michael Moore documentary. And this is one in which I am particularly interested.
I like this quote from his site about how Lion's Gate is distributing his film:

And, as an added bonus, Lions Gate is a Canadian company. Once again, the Canadians to the rescue! It was also a Canadian company, Salter Street Films, that produced "Bowling for Columbine." I know, it's kinda sad we have to keep depending on our good neighbors to stand by us so we can bring our work to our fellow Americans. But maybe this is the year we give them their Stanley Cup back.

Fahrenheit 9/11 opens on June 25. I'm really looking forward to it. Everyone should be.

Just realised that I forgot to bring my GPS with me, and I have to navigate downtown tonight.

Ah, the american grasp of the English language. I was listening to the radio today and Pink's Just Like A Pill came on. Part of it goes like this:
I can't stay on your life support, there's a shortage in the switch

... wait. Shortage? How do you have a shortage in a switch? A shortage of what, exactly?
Or did she mean short, as in short circuit?
Wouldn't you think that someone would have checked the lyrics before they went live with it?
It's a little thing, I know, but it's just another example of how the language is degrading, which I think is sad. A developed language is what separates the civilised from the uncivilised. Even the americans still have a basic grasp of English, though they had to simplify it before they could handle the writing aspect. Apparently "colour" has too many letters for the average american.
Instant messengers have done even more damage to written English, introducing the world to new words like "ur" and "ppl" and "l8r" which might not be so bad if such aberrations stayed in the messengers, but no, you find them in all aspects of online communication, and even worse, they're appearing in essays and on tests and in homework in schools across america and, to a lesser extent, the rest of the world.
I got into chatting online long before these instant messengers were about. Hell, residential Internet access was unheard of. And when I was chatting on various BBSs (Ah, Shoreline. How we miss you) there were no shortcuts. Rather, if you couldn't type the complete word fast enough, you learned to type faster. Or you used a shorter word. To corrupt the language itself just because you can't be bothered to type a word in its entirety.. that's tragic.
Of course I realise that language grows organically, and that language is shaped according to its use more than it is used according to its shape, but I do think that there have to be guidelines. The whole point of language is that it is something of a standard to which we all adhere so that we can understand each other. When people start deviating more than is reasonable from that set of standards, spelling things phonetically and not conforming to any of the rules of the language, that language stops being useful. How long before we start seeing Shakespeare written in this overly simplified language? "2 b r nt 2 b" just doesn't work for me.
I suppose that Stephenson is right. Eventually it will all be down to icons because actual words will be beyond the comprehension of most people.
I just think it's sad.

Logitech X620 6.1 surround Shuttle MN31N motherboard Evercool ver 201 UV lit fan
2 June 2004 : 13.28
Splendid. The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement.

So yesterday was computer hardware day. I've got more useful hardware than a porn video orgy scene.
  • AMD Athlon XP 2400+ 2.0 GHz processor
  • another 512 MB RAM
  • Logitech X 620 - 6.1 PC multimedia home theater speaker system
  • Linksys 8-port router
  • Shuttle MN31N motherboard
  • two 80mm clear UV fans
  • blue LED hard drive indicator fan grille
  • crystal clear blue UV dye
  • Thermaltake Aquarius II Water cooling kit
  • Evercool 201 water cooling kit

    The kits aren't as good as a custom built water cooling system, obviously, but this is my first foray into water cooling, and I have to start somewhere. Besides, I'm not overclocking, so the peak of efficiency isn't required yet. I'll expand, of course, as I get more into the whole thing, but for the time being, starter kits it is.

    I've got a brand new Athlon processor
    It's made by AMD
    I think I should mount it on my board
    and install XP
    Anitec had the CPU for
    only $108.50
    Oh, I've got a brand new Athlon processor
    It's made by AMD

    You should hear Neverwinter and Vice City in 6.1 surround. It's.. immersive.

    25 May 2004 : 15.00
    A jehovah's witness made the mistake of coming to my door. I had been watching Voyager, so I was already in a bad mood when he rang the bell. He was here from about five minutes into Voyager until about fifteen minutes to the end. Forty minutes, at the end of which he left, visibly shaken and loaded with atheist site URLs.
    I'm not naive enough to believe that I've had a permanent effect on his worldview, but I lectured him for forty minutes about the contradictions in the bible, the illogic of the concept of free will when god is supposed to be all-knowing, the irresponsibility of a creator who makes a species driven to propagate without restriction, and then covers most of the world with uninhabitable ocean.. I explained the concept of superbugs, and their use in illustrating the concept of evolution, I asked why god, a creature supposedly of infinite compassion and mercy, would create beings like the spider wasp and the screw worm, who through their very life processes bring about horrifying suffering. I demanded to know where god was now, given that all he had to do was to give a sign, which he used to do all of the time, in order to convert me and save my soul. All simple questions, all completely lacking answers. And I don't know what they teach them at jehovah's witness conversion shock troop academy, or wherever it is they learn the skills that they need to go door to door and spread their drivel, but it was painfully obvious when he recognised an opening in my arguments that he thought he could counter, one for which he had obviously been briefed, because his eyes would light up and he would launch into a rehearsed speech.
    For example, at one point he tried to liken the Earth, and the life thereon, to a house, saying that a house couldn't spontaneously come into being without a creator. Another of his arguments, which betrayed hideous, unforgivable ignorance, was that the possibility of life spontaneously developing was incredibly low, but for there then to be both a male and female, and for them to mate... of course, I had then to explain the concept of cell division and asexual reproduction.
    As the lecture went on, he became visibly more agitated, fiddling with his teeth, resettling his shoulders again and again.. he even took out a bible and clutched it in both hands, as though for comfort. Idiot.
    No, seriously, I couldn't believe how dramatic his reaction was. He eventually gave up and, edging away, started talking about the cars in my driveway, and how his ride was coming to pick him up any moment, so he should be out at the roadside waiting.
    Afraid of the questions I was asking, the points I was making, and his complete lack of an answer. He'll go home now, or to his church (or kingdom hall, whatever they call it), and immerse himself in his book, trying to drive away the doubts that were obviously bothering him when he left me. He'll probably succeed. But maybe, maybe he'll wonder why it bothers him so much, and why he doesn't have answers to such simple questions.
    I doubt it, almost completely, but anything's possible. More likely, he'll probably reaffirm his faith, and then come back armed with new strategies and arguments, and try to convert me.
    And if he does, I'll be waiting.
    (at this point, that cool-yet-dramatic Megatron eye-glowy thing would have been a nice touch.)

    And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon Tokyo!
    22 May 2004 : 11.14
    A comic friend of my brother, one Dylan Reimer (and hopefully I have the spelling right), came up with a wonderful idea. I take no credit for this, though it's incredibly simple and I wish I'd thought of it first.
    Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, in the spirit of King James, a merest sample of the Tomoyuki Tanaka dai kaiju version!

    And we know that all things work together for
    good to them that love Godzilla, to them who are the
    called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did
    predestinate to be conformed to the image of his
    Son, that he might be the firstborn among many
    brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also
    called: and whom he called, them he also
    justified: and whom he justified, them he also
    glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If Godzilla be
    for us, who can be against us? He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him
    up for us all, how shall he not with him also
    freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Godzilla's
    elect? It is Godzilla that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that
    died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even
    at the right hand of Godzilla, who also maketh
    intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
    shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or
    famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all
    the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the
    slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than
    conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life,
    nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor
    things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature,
    shall be able to separate us from the love of Godzilla,
    which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    19 May 2004 : 16.42
    I went to buy some clothes yesterday. Just normal stuff. I wanted a plain, neutral grey button-up shirt, since I don't care for patterns, and I like the rolled cuffs. You'd think that a plain, neutral grey button-up shirt would be easy to find, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong.

    Ok, that last part doesn't mean anything. It just sounds ominous.
    The point is, do you have any idea how hard it is to not make a statement? I mean, there was no shortage of bright colours, interesting designs, logos, slogans, and radical use of materials, but if you don't have something to say, if you just want something that will work with jeans of all colours, tough.
    "Vibrant red? Right here! Embossed tribal designs suggestively circling the nippular region? Just over there! Grey? You mean like grey and red, with.. no, just.. just grey? I don't understand."
    Because everyone has to make a statement, be bold and fashionable and daring. So if you just want to be comfortable, you're buggered. And I tried really hard, too. I went to at least one shop and really searched both of those clothing racks.
    But it's indicative of the overall state of the clothing world. Everyone wants to have that new, different, daring look that will be retro or out there or bold enough that people will notice them. If you're not looking to be noticed, you're back to the land of jeans and black t-shirts.
    So if my shopping experience is any indication, loud, bold shirts are now the norm. Does that mean that wearing something understated like a plain, neutral grey button-up shirt is now a statement since it's so different, so much of a deviation from the norm? Wow, look at that guy! He's wild! Crazy! Plain grey? I could never get away with that. It's just too aggressive a style for me.
    What would the psychologists make of it? "Now here is an individual who says 'Look at me. I'm different, and I'm not afraid to be different.' By wearing plain, solid colours, he's being bold enough to stand out, but in a monochromic kind of way which really shows that he has an inner sense of irony even as he suffers in a world he sees as dull and dreary." (yeah, I don't think much of the psych types. That comes out once in a while.)
    So black is the new bright yellow with green accents and a retro gas station/tattoo parlour logo. Making a statement is practically mandatory, but the statement that everyone seems to be making is "I'm a fucking unoriginal bastard."
    You want to make a statement Paco? Do something radical, like not conforming. But what are the odds? Oh, you could come up with something that you like, that's comfortable and uniquely you, but then you might not look like any of the movie/music stars. And we can't have that, now can we?

    As for me, in the end I settled for a couple of shirts that were the right colour, but made of a sort of velvety material that makes them feel way too nice to actually wear. I suppose I'll have to wait until winter comes around again for drab to be fab so I can get my shirt on. Or just try some other shops. They can't all be bold and daring.

    atomic wit
    17 May 2004 : 15.41
    Check this out. My wee brother. I'm so proud. :)

    In less interesting news, finally got some pictures of my spiffy new case.
    14 May 2004 : 14.52
    From the creators of My Stepmother Is An Alien comes My Mother Is An Alien Whore.
    Ok, maybe not, but my mother is an alien whore. Or at least she will be if she gets the part. She auditioned today for Andromeda. Never seen the programme myself, but I gather that it's dreadful. I helped her with her prostitute look, and apparently it worked because she was propositioned three times in the one block between the car and the audition building.
    More to the point, she's already booked a minor role (Busty Wench) on Earthsea, which is based upon the Earthsea trilogy. Let's hear it for my mum!!

    Got me an office chair last night. No, but that's good because I got it for free.
    So what, you say? Well, it's nifty because the closest I've been able to find to this chair is this one, and it's not even as good as mine. And it's $529.89.
    I love it when a pla- what? I'm enthused. Highly. And rightly so. You have no idea what I've been using for a computer chair until now. For the past year I've had to do all of my web design, email, and gaming from the back of an Albanian dairy Yak. Boney bastards without so much as adjustable armrests, I'm telling you. And way too tall for my various desks. And they shed. Ah, the soft pillowy goodness of an uncomfortable office chair.

    Let's just do what we always do...
    12 May 2004 : 16.23
    \/\/00t. Getting a raise at work. Who's a sexy bitch? Yes, it is true that lack of money is the root of all evil.
    Er, I mean.. that is.. I'm not into dosh, I hate money, I loathe possessions.. it's just so.. so crypto-fascist.

    Of course, a raise isn't really enough. No, things would be better if I ran the whole company. I'd totally have the white cat and the black swivel chair and the unplaceable-slightly-European-accent-with-matching-evil-laugh ensemble. And of course the large, intimidating.. uh.. personal assistant. He's important. Some leaders get in trouble for having an Oddjob in the office, but not me.

    ... and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset I collect your fuckin' head.
    You'd just better hope that your performance evaluation went well if you worked for me, that's all I'm saying.

    Give me just one major corporation, just one, and in time I would RULE THE WORLD!
    My empire would be powerful, controlling and allying with major corporations and corrupt governments! I would seize control of a critical resource and hold it to ransom, making people pay ridiculous prices just so that the world could continue to function!

    Meanwhile, on a completely unrelated note, gas prices continue to climb. Last time I refueled it was 97.8.
    That's 97.8 cents per litre! Gah! That's a lot. I hear that in some places it's been over a dollar.
    Fortunately, the american government is right on top of the situation (since they so effectively control the pricing). Their invasion of Iraq has caused problems with the oil flow, but I'm certain that they're not using the opportunity to step up their leeching of the public. After all, bush and cheney only care about looking after their people, right? They will, of course, use their ties to the various major oil companies to bring about changes for the good of the people they govern, and for the world as a whole, though it might cost the companies some profits, right?
    08 May 2004 : 14.26
    And speaking of spam, I just got a message advertising "Eliminate your bills the Christian way"
    So, no actual action, just a lot of praying to the big accountant in the sky, then?

    Lord Of The Blings
    07 May 2004 : 13.58
    Ok, who's genius idea was this?

    Yeah, this is the kind of sub-culture (and I do mean sub) that we want to be promoting to the children. Can't get 'em gangsta'd up young enough, right? Get those kids lusting after a lifestyle where they carry guns and make threats before they're even in high school.
    I wouldn't mind so much, but gangsta/rap culture is just so ridiculous. I mean, look at that stupid car. Even taken as a cariacature it's silly. And to think that people actually do things like this to their vehicles in their desperate attempts to fit in, to become part of a group.
    Why on Earth would you want to be part of a sub-culture that values things like gold-plated teeth?
    And you look at the people who do these things, the ones who try to stand out and be different.
    They're all uniform. They're all the same. They want to be different from the mindless masses, but they really aren't. So the best that they can do is to adhere to one of the various pointless sub-cultures composed of others who, like themselves, are trying to be Different. It's pathetic. If they were all as different as they imagine, there wouldn't be a sub-culture because they wouldn't be similar enough to be grouped together. But it's that need to belong, to associate with people whose values and ideals and lifestyles are the same as their own that drives them to band together, to be voluntarily assimilated.
    Does anyone actually believe that gold-plated teeth make them better in any sense whatever?
    There's a reason that no one in the real world actually adheres to the rules of the stupid gangsta sub-culture. It's so.. childish.
    Kind of like religion in a lot of ways, actually.

    06 May 2004 : 14.25
    Why do the girls in my department go all squishy when someone brings in a baby? I wasn't paying attention when it arrived, but then I became aware of the cooing and babytalk coming from that area of the room. It's disturbing. The creature is maybe six months old, and yet they expose it to "Ooo, look, you're so cute! Who's a cute baby? Hmm?"

    Honestly. If the child is capable of understanding spoken language, wouldn't it benefit from something somewhat more complicated? Complexity helps the child's mind develop. Rather than "Ooo, can you dance? Can you dance?" the child should be exposed to "Knight to King's Rook four" or "... and yet, by taking into account the principles of non-Euclidean geometry we can prove that..." or "Don't trust americans."

    And yet, somehow, seeing that little helpless baby makes you almost want one of your own.
    Preferrably in a white wine sauce.
    Slow-roasted, to seal in the flavour.
    Now, I know you're thinking "what a monster! Talking about slow-roasting a baby!" but don't worry. I'd use the spit.

    It's just a TV show!
    05 May 2004 : 17.04
    What's with all of the fuss over the finale of Friends? Ad companies are paying two million dollars for a thirty-second spot? Movie theatres are showing the episode on the big screen? It's a sitcom! It's only a sitcom! And yet people are getting all carried away, and all upset that it's coming to an end..
    In the immortal words of William Shatner:
    "GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show!"

    president or yokel?
    05 May 2004 : 16.19
    americans have written to shout at me about how america is leading the fight against terrorism, about how what they're doing in Iraq is for the good of the Iraqi people.
    Sure looks like it. The pretty words of the politicians are one thing, but the actions of the american people are another and like it or not, the american military is a part of the american people.
    I think that bush said it best in this speech.

    PH33R d4 M4D NINJ4 Sk1LLz!!!1 Ph33R w17H GR34T PH34R!!!11
    05 May 2004 : 16.04
    Look Zippy, I'm a ninja!

    Unt now, ve dance.
    03 May 2004 : 15.20
    Let me tell you a story, Billy. It was early yesterday morning, about 2.30 am, and I was driving home from my friend's house, having taken her back there after leaving a party. I'd just left the highway when I saw it. An RCMP patrol car, white as a ghost! I wasn't speeding, since I knew that they lurked along that stretch, so I slid casually past as the car settled into the safety island between the opposing lanes of traffic, waiting for someone on whom to pounce.
    Little did I know that I was to be its victim.
    I had passed the police car, and was continuing on my way, stopping at the lights, obeying the limit. I had just passed a set of lights when something compelled me to look into my mirror. It was dark, so all I could see of the car behind me were the headlights. Just normal headlights, perhaps a bit too close to me. I glanced at my speedometer: 80. In a 50. Looking back up to the mirror, I only had time to think "bugger" before the red and blue lights came on.
    Muttering darkly about paying attention, I pulled over to the curb, opened my window, and turned off my engine. I was collecting my papers when I realised that my wallet was in my bag, which was in my trunk.
    The last time the police tried to give me a ticket, they had to call backup. That's another story entirely, but it did make me conscious of not doing anything too unpredictable during this encounter, so I wasn't about to jump out, or even pop my trunk without checking with the officer first.
    "Hello?" The police officer peered in through my window at me. She was a very attractive woman, with short, spiky orange hair streaked with blonde, sparkling dark eyes, and the slightest hint of perpetual amusement about her. "I don't get you. You saw me behind you, but you were still speeding,"
    I was pretty much resigned to the ticket (I haven't had one in years, so it wasn't too horrifying a prospect) and so I wasn't desperately making excuses. I hadn't realised that she was the police, hadn't been paying attention to my speed, etc. All matter of fact.
    "My wallet is in my trunk. Is it ok if I get it?" A nod of assent, a little more amusement in her smile. As she asked me the standard questions and examined my license, we talked about other things, like why I was driving this particular car, my complete lack of a sense of direction, and so on. Ten minutes later found me leaning ever so casually against my car chatting away to the laughing police officer by the strobing bubblegum lights.
    Eventually, we had to go our separate ways. Time has a way of catching up with you even in the wee hours. Thus I resumed my journey home, without a ticket, and she drove off with my phone number and email address.
    That evening I mentioned the incident to my grandmother, and got a "That's my boy!"

    Heinlein thought that the puppetmasters would be scary slug creatures from outer space. Little did he know that they would be human, like himself. That the enemy would be not without, but within. cor, that was dramatic, huh?
    29 April 2004 : 12.35
    It's alive! IT'S ALIIIIIIVE!!!
    It's back! My site has returned!

    Do you have any idea what it's like to lose your site? It's devastating. You feel incomplete. Oh, they say that when you lose your site, everything else compensates, but it's just not true.
    My domain was allowed to expire. I felt so.. so violated.
    A friend of mine claims that it was the FBI shutting me down.
    I can see that.

    And along those lines, oooooooh dear!
    Of course, as they say in the article, it will be a puppet show. We can't have georgie speaking for himself, can we? He has to be controlled at all times if people are going to actually be asking him questions.
    Why is the inquiry allowing cheney to accompany him? They must know that georgie is just a mouthpiece, and that as long as cheney is there they won't get a word out of bush himself.
    I hope that they have a plan to catch them out. I hope that they have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it. I really, really want to see bushco be locked away for a good long time.

    And now, in the awwwwwww category...

    Also, most of you will have seen this, but here it is anyway.
    18 April 2004 : 12.16
    Ok, spam is now officially a problem. Last night I deleted the contents of my spam folder, which dated back to 22 March. There were 10 161 messages! That's way out of control! Over ten thousand messages in less than a month?
    And some of it's just stupid. I got one with the subject line "dirt hot girls that want to meet you". No, seriously.
    That's right! She's not just hot. She's dirt hot.

    Of course, some spam is even more ridiculous. Look at this one:

    Those crazy christians. Just when you think that their religion can't get any more ridiculous, something like this appears, or something like this. Anything that I might do to make fun of them pales in comparison to what they do to themselves. Hee.. I love it!

    oh baby. oh god. oh baby.
    17 April 2004 : 17.19
    Found this article on a story about an artist who takes himself way too seriously:

    "... everyone knows that the fountain is a male fantasy of permanent ejaculation. I wanted it to be a celebratory piece, but I don’t know if the feminists would find it offensive."

    Pardon me while I burst into hysterical laughter. That's too ridiculous for me to even put into words.
    I suppose, if you stop and think about it, fountains are popular because they provide a combination of movement and sound.. an animated liquid sculpture in crystal clarity. At its heart, though, a fountain is essentially a pretty way to provide publicly accessible drinking water (Rome, for example) without letting it stand and stagnate. The water's always fresh because it's always moving. Does it seem likely that such a thing would be tied into this strange fantasy? That drinking the fluid which results from this permanent ejaculation image would appeal to most homophobic males? Hardly.

    People are obssessed with symbols and meanings and other such nonsensical drivel. I'm not talking about intentional metaphors here. I'm talking about reading meaning into everything. Why does a fountain have to be a symbol of anything? Why is everything a phallic symbol these days? The sword wasn't just a very practical means of killing your opponent. It was a penis metaphor. Fuck off. It was the longest practical sharp edge you could carry into battle. You know, sharp edge? Used for killing? Next they'll be saying that the lance was a phallic symbol. They probably already have. Anything longer than it is wide, essentially, is supposed to be such a symbol.. towers, cigars, swords, the Hubble..

    Surely no one really believes this nonsense, do they? I mean, a tower is the shape it is because it's a practical way of making the building as large as possible while taking up the least amount of ground space. Repeat after me: it's practical. It is not a manifestation of an enormous wang.
    And a cigar is that shape because it needs to be of a diameter comfortable to smoke, and also last more than a few seconds. Imagine if cigars were spherical. Hardly practical. A cigar cube? No.. there's nowhere to hold it, then, and it still burns out too quickly. So it needs to be longer on one side than the next. How about a cylinder? Hey! That's phallic!
    Once again, fuck off.

    Honestly! Can we tone down all of the Freud-based psychobabble please? One sex-obssessed guy makes some silly observations and suddenly everyone's on the bandwagon. We don't say that helmets are vaginal symbols, do we? Or gloves, or bottles, right? We don't call mountains breast metaphors, so what's with this phallic fixation? A cigar is just a cigar. End of story.

    Supposed to go out to see Kill Bill Volume 2 tonight, but I haven't seen the first one, so that might be a problem.

    Mail call!
    16 April 2004 : 16.42
    New McHappy Mail.

    They're lovin' it. :)

    Ok, so that's a massive conceit. But people do read the site, and they do like it. That's happy.

    16 April 2004 : 14.39
    Heh, those wacky yankee bible thumpers. Well, no big loss, right?
    In case the link goes away, essentially in Ratsass, VA they have a serpent handling ritual involving rattlesnakes, which they seem to think indicates obedience to their god. Why their god wants them to handle deadly snakes is beyond me, but bible thumpers aren't known for their sense. Anyway, rev. Dwayne Long was chomped by a rattlesnake, which serves him bloody right. He refused medical treatment, probably thinking that his god would save him from the snake venom.
    His god didn't save him from the snake venom.
    Apparently, people involved with the ritual feel that when people die from a rattlesnake bite, it's their time to go. I tend to think that if they die from a rattlesnake bite it's because they're too fucking stupid to survive.

    Speaking of yankees and religion, Florida has opened a second faith-based prison. Church and state should be what?
    america is turning into a great theocracy. It gets worse all the time. I'd say "god help the non-christians" but that would be kind of silly. I just hope that this government doesn't get another term. Think how much of every aspect of american life christianity will have managed to infect by the time they leave...
    04 April 2004 : 16.24
    Civilised at last! Hopefully the rest of the world will follow.
    I can't abide those smokers. Disgusting creatures.

    Now, on to more important matters: I want.. I need some of this kind of love.
    02 April 2004 : 12.30
    Had an argument with a friend the other night. She said that she couldn't watch porn because it's so degrading. That argument went around a bit, and then came to "So, do you watch porn?"
    What could I say? "No, I can't watch porn. I can't stand the camera work. It's like 'wow, that's a very attractive ceiling tile. Ok, extreme closeup of.. what am I looking at here? A knee, or a hip or something? Oh look, the edge of a thigh, and the corner of a coffee table! Ooh, that's intense! Was this shot in wide-screen or something?' Honestly, it's like the cameras are being operated by semi-trained chimpanzees who've really lost interest in their work."

    What? If there's one thing that's important in an.. er.. action movie, it's the camera work.
    01 April 2004 : 18.11
    "It is said that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that by learned discourse, he may rise above the savage, and be closer to God. Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best."
    - Black Adder II

    People do stupid things. Some people climb mountains. Some people run marathons. Some people eat themselves to death.
    But perhaps strangest of all, some women join men's sports teams, or play typically male sports. Hello? Why? These are typically male sports because females are supposed to have more sense. If someone throwing the ball to you means that you're immediately going to be hit by several hundred pounds of big, hairy opponent, only an idiot would shout things like "I'm open!"
    A sensible person would shout "Chuck it to Steve!" or something to deter the thrower from flinging the thing in his direction. Shouting "I'm open" is a bit like going to war with a bull's eye painted on your chest. A better solution would be to avoid the situation entirely by not getting involved. I suppose that the need to bang one's chest and make silly primal grunting noises is too much to resist, but we're led by society to believe that this is the province of the typical macho male. After all, only a silly macho male could possibly want to spend that much time running into other macho males.
    Something kind of homo-erotic about the whole thing, if you ask me.
    When two men are being aggressive at each other, women like to say things like "there's too much testosterone in here." No one says "there's too much testosterone in here" when two women are arguing, right? That's because testosterone is generally associated with males (even though it occurs in females, too), which suggests that mindless aggression is primarily a male thing. But no, it's not just men who can be stupid and violent. Why should the men be the only ones to bash against each other and break various fragile bones?

    This, then, is true equality. To be granted the same opportunities to both excel and to embarass other members of one's own sex with silly, macho chest banging. And it is embarrassing, believe me. I cringe when I see the way men behave when watching "the game." I shudder when I think that I belong to the same gender as those grunting buffoons in the post-game interviews. The question, then, isn't whether women can compete in physical sports with men. It's "why the hell would they want to?"
    And yet there's a women's football team sign-up form thingie in the break room at work. That's what started me on this in the first place.

    It's alive! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!
    31 March 2004 : 16.04
    Methane on Mars.
    No, you don't understand. Methane. On. Mars.
    That's.. massive. It's a good indicator that there's life. Life. On Mars.
    Life! It's most likely microbial, but still probably more intelligent than most of humanity.
    Like that's hard. My coffee is more intelligent than most of humanity.

    "No one would have believed, in the early years of the 21st century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us." - horribly paraphrased Wells
    Oh, that wasn't a bit nice! You have made me very angry! Very angry indeed!

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