thanks for choosing god.

speaking of scams...
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

click for a larger version
25 March 2004 : 0.36
In honour of the guy who wrote in about virus terrorism, I have created this image. Yes, it sucks. It took forty-five seconds and involved crappy source pics. The important thing is the sentiment. Behold, then, the act of terrorism against the twin towers.

Twin towers? Tower? Virus?
[ sigh ] I don't know why I bother.

speaking of terrorism...
24 March 2004 : 16.55
Look what I just received in my tech support inbox:

... the person is not sending any message , only an attachment with a virus in it, I am saving these to a file for future reference, I consider this a form of harassment and an act of terrorism , today again I got 4 email sent to me NO message or email just a virus, I may need help from [ company ] to stop this terrorism , I will keep in contact with [ company ] with further advise, if these persist I'm going to have to move to another server, you state that there is no need for concern but I disagree, I'm not going to be terrorized by anyone and I expect [ company ] to assist when needed. thanks ,

In light of this message, I would like to make the following public service announcement:



Good christ, it's like the world has gone terrorism mad. It's like the pyramid hat craze. Anything and everything is terrorists these days. Someone gets shot, it's terrorists. Someone sends you a virus, it's terrorists. You get a fucking parking ticket, it's terrorists.
One frigging act of high profile terrorism and suddenly the whole world is being held hostage by evil, ruthless powers striking at us all in our homes, through our computers, and by leaving little notes on our windshields. Suddenly in every doorway lurks a terrorist ready to jump out and spray us with something toxic and nasty. Little Johnny from NYC failed grade three not because he's too stupid to find his own fingers, but because he's a victim of the terrorists. The yankee government is siphoning all of the money out of the american economy to hide it from the terrorists. Your neighbour accidentally mowed too far onto your lawn because he's a terrorist! Accidents, hunger, disease, country music.. terrorism is everywhere!
Wake fucking up! Stop being such mindless drones and think outside the media! It's just a virus! It's destruction of property, it's vandalism, maybe it's theft of data, but it's not freaking terrorism! AHHHHHHH!

Thank you.

Uncle Sam.. ders.
March 24 2004 : 12.43
On my way to work today, I passed at least eight washington plated cars in a row. To you, our american visitors, I'd just like to say: Get the hell out of my country, you filthy yankees!

Oh, come on. Everyone complains about their neighbours. I just think bigger than most.

Speaking of which, I went for sushi with a friend and her american boyfriend, and was a very good boy. Held my tongue, didn't say anything mean or anything. Which isn't surprising.. he seems very nice. Some of them are. Some of them should be set on fire.
No, I tell a lie. Most of them should be set on fire.

Speaking of filthy yankees, see what I found on That image there.. it's funny, but it's also appropriate. america is a nation of consumers, after all. Replacing their mythical uncle sam character with the figurehead of a fast food company is such a perfect metaphor.

Shut up. That's deeply analytical, that is.

21 March 2004 : 17.28
For the model train fanatic who has everything, now you can get model train scale 3d porn figurines.
Maybe they should be called action figures.

You know, because they're getting some action?

Action? Action figures? Oh, please yourselves.

20 March 2004 : 16.20
This is both funny and sad. In case the article goes away, it essentially says that five percent of all ninth grade students in New York last year were at least three years overage, at seventeen, and at least forty-seven percent of students were at least one year over-age.
The article further says:

"More than one-quarter of the city's 1 million schoolkids - 277,647 students - are overage. Nearly one in 10 students is overage in the first grade, and 15 percent in the second grade. By third grade, nearly one in five students is overage; by sixth grade, it's one in four."

Whenever I read things like this, I can't help but think back to what someone said during a debate on IRC: "america's got money because we've got brains, man!"
That's probably why you have kids failing grade one. What the hell do you have to learn in grade one? I mean, what can you possibly fail that early in your school career?
For comparison's sake: By grade six, most children in Amsterdam are fluent in three or four, or maybe more languages. By grade six, fully a quarter of the children in New York have failed at least one grade.
Of course, Education officials blame immigrants for the problem, though immigration is down since they went all paranoid about anyone vaguely non-white. The ever-falling quality of their school system (all over the country, mind you) has nothing to do with it, I'm sure.

But aside from the amusement value of the article, it raises an interesting question. When the current generation retires, and the new generation is too poorly educated to write their own names, let alone operate the nuclear reactors and design the roads and perform emergency surgery, who's going to look after the country? Will they outsource everything to poor but infinitely better educated nations? Or will america collapse as a power, and be dissected by those who actually have the knowledge to operate it?

Oh, and speaking of bush: BAHAHAHAHAHA!
19 March 2004 : 18.17
in the news:

  • Montana: two eight year old boys and an eleven year old school mate are caught burying a .22 calibre handgun in a playground, and plotting to shoot and stab a grade three girl who teased them.
  • Nebraska: a seventeen year old high school student is arrested outside his school with twenty home-made bombs, a rifle, and a note saying that he wants to injure everyone except for three friends.

    And yet in america there are still morons who insist that gun control is a bad idea.
    Is gun control still a bad idea when the police call to tell you that it was your grade three daughter who was shot because some stupid bastard let some stupid bastard larvae get hold of his stupid, macho toy? Will guns make everything ok then? Oh, I know! Maybe the grade three girl should be carrying a gun, too!
    They oppose gun control because they think that carrying dangerous weapons should be a right. Which it is, apparently, but whose rights are more important? The rights of the macho and the paranoid to arm themselves for no good reason, or the rights of children to not be shot? Is it more important to let the paranoia run rampant, and let everyone arm themselves, or is it better to make it so bloody hard to get a gun that this kind of thing just can't happen? americans aren't responsible enough to have guns. They're dangerous, stupid, and aggressive. Hell, they shouldn't be allowed to have cars, never mind actual weapons.

    So on the one hand there's the right to arm themselves, which comes from a dated document written just after a period of violent revolution, and leads directly to countless shooting deaths both through accident and violent crime. And on the other hand, there's gun control which keeps guns out of the hands of the people who really shouldn't have them.
    Mind you, that's most of the population of yankeeland.

    17 March 2004 : 18.06
    Happy St. Patrick's Day!

    No more headaches. You have no idea what a relief that is. They came, they went, they made my life hell. No particular reason that I can determine.

    Tonight I go to the theatre. A friend of mine is in a show, so naturally I go to be supportive. That's important, you know. It's not my theatre, but it's a theatre, and that's a good start.
    I'd rather be at the Heather, but what can you do? Besides, tonight it will be packed.

    I know. I have so much to say. Shaddap.
    11 March 2004 : 17.50
    I have this brilliant plan for world domination. Unfortunately, it sort of hinges on me controlling most of the world's breakfast cereal companies.

    10 March 2004 : 15.19
    Ok, twelve days after the initial onset of the migraine, I'm back to normal. Whatever that is.

    Anyway, while I was semi-comatose, I spent a fair amount of time collapsed on my couch, barely even aware of Space on the television. That said, I did discover Firefly.
    Have you seen it? It's way cool.. it's essentially a western in a science fiction setting. Which I think is very spiffy. Which is odd, because I detest that period in North American history. I'm so glad that Canada just skipped that cowboy, high noon, gunfighter nonsense and went straight to civilisation.
    That said, an SF western has its appeal because it's different.

    It's not a tumour.
    05 March 2004 : 18.39
    Day.. I don't know. At least day seven of the vicious headache. And I'm still at work. Yay. It's bordering on a migraine, but it isn't one just yet.

    So, on behalf of migraine sufferers everywhere, allow me to introduce the migraine site.

    Nothing is as nice as darkness when you have a migraine.
    Now, go and watch this. (48.4 MB) Smaller versions here (27.5 MB) and here (17.1 MB)

    I just got spammed with an ad for christian debt management.
    .. the hell? What, exactly, is christian debt management? What, you have to take your tithes into account? Or your sins? Do you need an accountant to track your sins?

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hide in a dark room and weep.

    Counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor?
    03 March 2004 : 15.23
    Seriously, corporal punishment for virus writers. I'm getting eight virus messages per minute. The obvious solution? levy a fine, and then also broadcast a televised public flaying-and-salting of the virus writer, with the number of lashes based upon the number of infections.
    However, you look at it, that's thousands. It's still too good for them, but I don't have any fresh, real Vogon poetry handy.

    Speaking of entertainment, I came up with a couple of ideas last night. No, I think that these are winners.
    Ok, nobody cares about Survivor any more, right? And the Iron Chef craze has passed. How about Iron Chef Survivor? Stick several people on a deserted island with no food, but several fully-equipped kitchens...

    No? Ok, the World Wildlife Fund and the World Wrestling Federation had a court battle over the acronym WWF. How about combining the two into the Wildlife Wrestling Federation?
    This Sunday see the World Heavyweight Champion take on a fucking huge bull elephant! See the Intercontinental Champion meet the challenge of a three metre crocodile in The Underwater Cage!
    On a deserted island, naturally. That's important.

    See? There's no tedious voting in my games.
    See, see the loud sky
    Marvel at its big aquamarine depths.
    Tell me, Reginald do you
    Wonder why the mosquito ignores you?
    Why its foobly stare
    makes you feel grumpy.
    I can tell you, it is
    Worried by your fentralic facial growth
    That looks like
    A mayonnaise.
    What's more, it knows
    Your rigid potting shed
    Smells of wasabi.
    Everything under the big loud sky
    Asks why, why do you even bother?
    You only charm noses.

    The new Apple iBox
    29 February 2004 : 13.52
    I have a vicious headache. You care.

    Updated the atheism page. You care.

    The little gold spider who lives in my car made an appearance today while I was driving in to work. I thought that he'd retired, but as I was driving he popped in, stamping along the inside of my windshield and up the pillar at the side. It looks like that's where he lives, because he disappeared into the space between the pillar and the glass, and occasionally stuck a leg out to wave at me.
    This presents me with a dilemma. I want to replace the glass because it's cracked, but if I do I'll disturb this little person's house.
    I can live with a cracked windshield. :)

    Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers
    28 February 2004 : 12.27
    This whole virus/spam thing is way out of control. I came in to work today and there were 788 messages waiting for me. After clearing out the spam and viruum, there were only 214. That's ridiculous. Between virus and advertisement I'm getting an average of four messages per minute.
    We should institute corporal punishment for spammers and people who write viruum. Maybe the threat of jail or fines isn't enough, but it would be a different thing entirely if they got a taste of the lash! Arr!

    It's Leap Day Eve. Do you know where your party is?

    For those who haven't seen the cybersex transcripts, here they are. Blatantly fake, of course, but some bits are funny.

    It's a doughnut.
    27 February 2004 : 16.54
    Krispy Kreme Doughnuts just opened in Delta. People have been camping out since last night to get their doughnuts. In the cold. And the rain.
    They're doughnuts people! Hell, I wouldn't camp out that long for a kidney, let alone a confection that won't even last a minute. What the hell are you thinking?
    "Well Mr. Jackson, we can get you your marrow transplant, but I'm afraid that you'll have to wait in line for it. Here's a sleeping bag, there's the door."
    Honestly, why not just wait a week until the fuss has ended, and just walk in when there's no queue? Seriously, how good can a doughnut be? I've had these things.. they're pretty good, but I wouldn't bloody camp out for one.
    Just like there's a sale happening downtown at some athletic clothing shop. One of the people here in my office was talking (via phone) to someone who had been waiting in line for seven hours. Seven hours!? For an "up to 30% off" sale? So you buy a pair of pants for $90, save yourself 30%.. that's less than thirty dollars. If I offered to pay you less than thirty dollars to stand in the cold rain for seven hours, would you be likely to accept? No, I don't think you would be. And yet the queue was three blocks long.
    Anything for a sale, apparently. Stupid.

    Speaking of the cold and the rain, I'm having trouble with a bearing on my car so I had to ride my bike today.
    [shiver] I'm comfortable in cooler temperatures, but there's a big difference between that and highway speed through the icy rain at the end of February. You know how cold that is? It's fucking freezing degrees C. At least. But the best part is sitting in damp clothes for the next eight hours. That's great, that is.

    Naturally, I blame the establishment. It's all because of the man trying to put me down.

    Violently-Happy Radio
    26 February 2004 : 16.49
    That was weird. Just took a support call for a customer who was having problems with his email. I don't normally take calls, but this was a favour for my supervisor, so that's ok. I talked to him for about three minutes before he said "So, do you do radio?"
    Uh, no? And then he went on about how he ran a voice talent agency for twelve years, and how I had a great voice for voiceovers, radio work, etc. He said that if I got a headshot and resume together and got myself to a talent agency, I'd likely be working all the time in commercials, television voiceovers, animation...
    I'm starting to wonder whether there's something to that. I mean, people are always telling me that I have a good voice for things like radio. When I was working for Fido, a guy who claimed to be the manager of Maestro Fresh Wes said that he was in town, and wanted to know whether I had a voice talent resume. I believe him. If you're going to make it up, you don't choose a memory like Maestro Fresh Wes. When I went to buy my car, the sales guy asked whether I was a voice actor. While I was doing a show, the choreographer even said that I should be in opera.
    There've been many more such comments. Individually, I shrug them off, but taken collectively, perhaps they deserve more credit than I've been giving. Well, maybe this guy's right. I know for a fact that I have a great face for radio. The last thing he said was "Thanks for all of your help, and get that voice on the air."

    Pretty and BL00.
    26 February 2004 : 14.22
    Ooh, now this case is infinitely more sexy. And the one at the shop is even better because it has a built in LCD thermal display, side and top windows, comes with a power supply, and includes a coloured fan or two. The Chenbro case I wanted didn't include any of that. Except for the side window. So bugger them with a stick, I'm going with the generic case filled with niftiness.

    Gibson, or Mel for those of us in the know, made a movie about jesus. Obviously it's fiction. But here's a most excellent quote about it:

    As for the buzz about the anti-semitism subtext of The Passion of the Christ – a concern that unfortunately has not been allayed with the film's release – allow me to say this, as a representative Jew: sorry! Maybe we did kill the guy, but I have to be honest: it just didn't seem like a big deal at the time. You know? A lot of people got killed back then. It was just a historical inevitability. Just imagine how many other religions' potential savoirs were labeled heretics and murdered by the Catholic Church many centuries later! So, can't we just call it even? What if we promise not to murder any more Jesuses for at least for the next two hundred years? Come on! How about a hug?

    Getting kind of tired of my site's design. I wonder whether I should rebuild it. Hm. Maybe something in paisley.

    Vancouver Webloggers dot com

    Chenbro Xpider case, yet to be personalised.
    22 February 2004 : 14.24
    It's time to buy another new computer. This one's going to have fun stuff in and on it. So, shopping list:
  • case
  • power supply
  • fan controller
  • speakers
  • keyboard
  • LCD
  • Tach

    Also, the motherboard that I'm looking at has a built-in nVidia GeForce 4 with dual-VGA, meaning that I can immediately run two LCD monitors on the computer using nView without even upgrading. Swap my secondary GeForce 128 MB PCI video card from one of my existing computers over to it, and I can run three monitors. And there's still the AGP slot for when I have to upgrade.
    Everyone asks "Why do you need three monitors?" Well, the niftiness factor aside, it's very useful to have that much desktop space. Photoshop can take up an entire monitor, and still only consumes one third of the viewable area. Think how convenient that kind of feature is for web design, or animation work..
    If I might venture a 5w337 here:

    5W33t!!!1 PH34r T3H U83r L337 |\|3W B0x0R!!!!!11

    Ok, that's quite enough of that. As to the iMac, I'm finding it cute but ultimately impractical for my needs. It's too point and click oriented, which limits the speed of my interaction with it, ultimately leading to a frustrating experience as I try to actually accomplish anything. Mind you, I'm still new at it, so I'll keep trying, but I'm amazed that so many people find them easy to use. I find it agonisingly slow.

  • 18 February 2004 : 14.46
    My tower at work doesn't have a 13th floor. But that's ridiculous.. it has to have a 13th floor. Otherwise, what would keep the 14th floor so high in the air?
    So naturally I assume that you have to press the elevator buttons in a certain order to use the cheat code to unlock the hidden level.
    Since you can't possibly enter Up Down Up Down B A B A Select Start on an elevator control panel, I tried 28 14 28 14 Door Open Door Close Emergency Call, but all I got was an angry security person on the intercom.

    Had a serious discussion the other day about terrorism in the world, and the World Trade Centre. My friend says that she can't believe that they haven't found Osama yet, and that he's probably living comfortably somewhere in america. I say that they're looking for the wrong people. If they want to catch terrorists, the offenders are obvious. So obvious that I can't believe that they haven't even considered them, given their well-known history. It's clearly Cobra. They have, no listen, they have a history of ruthless terrorist attacks all over the world, and not just blowing up buildings, but trying to conquer the entire planet. Where the hell were the Joes when we needed them? That's what I want to know. What do I pay my taxes for, anyway!?
    And she accuses me of not taking our conversations seriously. Hmph.
    If this intellectual discourse is too much for you, feel free to drool over the Korean World Cup Babe (tm).
    She's enough to make even me watch football.
    I like this one.

    Y'all can call me any time, sugah.
    14 February 2004 : 15.17

    Why is it that the Smurfs all had names that reflected their personalities, and each was a trait that you find in humans, but they only used names that were one word long? So there was "Vanity Smurf," and "Hefty Smurf," but no "Body Dysmorphic Smurf," or "Religious Zealot Smurf?" Or how about "Dyslexic Srumf?" or "Attention Deficit Smurfberries are yummy aren't they? Hey, look! A mushroom!"
    The Smurfs were just about all male, too, so why didn't their names reflect real male traits? "Fear Of Commitment Smurf" or "Silly Macho Smurf"

    And what was up with Smurfette? Look how short that skirt is... she should have been "Easy Smurf."
    Or maybe just "Britney"

    And while I'm about it, why "Smurfs?" I mean, the plural of leaf is leaves, so shouldn't the plural of Smurf be Smurves?

    14 February 2004 : 13.45
    Back up on two wheels as of this morning, and bloody hell it's cold when you're riding home in the rain.

    St. Valentine's Day today. Feh. Though there's a party at the theatre tonight, so I'm going to go to that. I'll probably end up being the DJ, since I always do. And I might actually drink tonight, too, if I'm not driving home. I know, I'm a party animal.
    In any event, tonight I'm to be dear Amy's valentine, she tells me. I'm not certain what being a valentine entails, but I'm sure that it won't be dull.

    So, in honour of St. Valentine's Day:

    Double your pleasure...
    ... double your fun.
    13 February 2004 : 15.09
    Believe it or not, I actually received a message criticising me for attributing a quote to Gandhi that was not something that he actually said.
    I say unto thee: Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticise them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    I was watching a documentary a while ago about human cloning, and what people think of it. The crew went out and interviewed members of the great unwashed out on the street to see what they thought. Some of the better responses included some woman saying that there were lots of religious reasons that she wasn't going to mention, and then going on about the creator this and the creator that. How's that non-religious?
    Then there was the guy who said "We shouldn't start human cloning, since that's a slippery slope," but didn't seem to know what it was a slippery slope toward. Then there were the people who said "Absolutely not! It's wrong!" but couldn't tell the documentary crew why it's wrong. Personally, I don't see it as even being an issue.
    People have very strong opinions about cloning, but don't seem to have any idea why. And the majority of those strong opinions seem to stem from ignorance.
    It's kinda like religion, actually. Which is funny, because most people who object to human cloning do so on religious grounds.
    Personally, I'm more than fine about human cloning. I'm enthusiastic. If I can get a copy of Nicole Kidman, or pick up a six pack of Tia Carrere, I'm in favour of the technology.

    Yes, I know that that's not how cloning works. I can dream, can't I?

    The other day, I helped my father install one of those instant hot water taps in his sink, so that he has hot, filtered water on demand. Of course, I don't actually know anything about plumbing, but I managed to make it work anyway.
    11 February 2004 : 16.10
    Added a St. Valentine's Day graphic on my index page. There's a pretty pink heart on it.

    Now, check out the newest toy sweeping the Internet.

    What the hell does "addicting" mean? Are they trying to say "addictive"

    Mahatma Gumby
    10 February 2004 : 16.56
    Was it Mahatma Gandhi, or perhaps Socrates who said "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk before me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, for the path is narrow. In fact just fuck off and leave me alone."

    08 February 2004 : 14.46
    Day three of the vicious headache. Ow. My skull is too small. I really need to move, I think. Find somewhere bigger.
    I'm so tired. Migraines, or headaches that border on migraines, always leave me very tired because what sleep I do get doesn't actually make any difference. Makes the pain go away for a while, but that's about it.

    I bought a new video card.. nothing special. A 128 MB PCI to allow me to run games with nicer graphics (hello KOTOR), and to use multiple monitors, which would be very convenient for what I do. I have two monitors on that machine at the moment, but one of them is an old low-res thing that really needs to be replaced.
    Actually, I need to build another new computer. Mine are all too slow now, to the point that I'm having to fight them to make them do what I want them to do.
    07 February 2004 : 17.32
    I've received a few messages wondering how I'm enjoying the iMac, how I'm finding it from the point of view of a PC user.
    It's.. different. First off, it's a Rev. D 333 MHz iMac, which isn't exactly a powerful system, but it's not bad for a first Mac. It's not like I'm switching, after all. This is an experiment.
    I can see how it would be easier for someone who doesn't know much about computers. I'm using OS 9.2.2 at the moment (upgrading to Panther tomorrow, probably), and it's easy to get the hang of it. Installing programs consists, mostly, of dragging them to the appropriate location. Running programs are listed at the top right. The one button puck mouse is driving me insane, but I'll get used to it. Or replace it. One button, no scrolly, and you can't tell by feel which way you're holding it.
    Fortunately, X (that's eks, not ten. it's a play on X for Unix, you see) has poly-button mouse support, which makes me happy.
    The thing that really gets me about the iMac, though, is the voice recognition. It's.. outstanding. It doesn't require training, it's very well integrated into the operating system, and it doesn't have a lot of difficulty understanding what I say. You can push to talk, or just say "computer" before giving it a command.
    I also find that the keyboard layout is less practical than on a PC. I like the home, end, and delete keys, and they're most visibly absent on the iMac keyboard. So I can't Ctrl-shift-home, Ctrl-C to copy an entire page of stuff. But what I can do is say "Computer, select all and copy" and it will.
    That's pretty damned spiffy.

    I haven't really had enough experience with it yet, and I certainly haven't enough experience with OS X, but overall I'd say that it's too cutesy and user friendly for me at the moment. A lot of the things that I'd like to do I don't seem to be able to do. We'll see whether that's been corrected with X once I get it installed. It's a nifty little system, though, and one that I would suggest for people who don't actually want to learn about computers more than they absolutely have to. I'll have more to say once I've played with OS X, of course.

    06 February 2004 : 12.28
    I watched a travel program the other night (or rather, I was around while it was being watched) about Vancouver. It's interesting to see what the tourists make of your city. Seeing it from their point of view, the normal, everyday things that I take for granted become so much more. They showed The Roxy, Sonar, Kits, Gastown, Stanley Park.. lots of places that I never think twice about passing on my way to wherever it is I'm going. I'm tempted to book myself into a tour and see how much of the city I'm missing while it's right in front of me.

    Every day I break my previous record of consecutive days still alive.

    Violently Purple
    05 February 2004 : 23.21
    First update on my new shiny purple iMac.

    Ok, on to more important stuff. Clips that need to be seen:
    You are a fucking moron: president bush.
    A love story by Weebl.
    I seriously need to spend more time playing with Flash.

    Been watching more Angel and Buffy. It's growing on me, I must admit.

    I finally got my phone fixed. Huzzah, etc. The firmware upgrade fixed all kinds of things, and gave me some nifty new features like a text message chat function.

    I saw The Return Of The King the other night. Bloody hell that's good. I got all sniffly at the end. It's really, really good, and if you haven't seen it do so at once.
    But see the others first or you won't have the slightest clue what's going on.

    I also went to La Casa Gelato. 198 flavours at all times, including wasabi (tastes just like it), aged Balsamic vinegar (surprisingly good), pear with gorgonzola and blue cheese (didn't even want to try that one), chestnut, strawberry champagne, curry, green tea, and real vanilla. And those are just the obscure ones. You should see what else they have. If you're in Vancouver (or the surrounding areas), you have to go. And don't wait until summer.. it's a big place, and it's always packed in the summer.

    It says 'Don't hate us because we're americans. Just hate our government.' Click to see where it originated.
    01 February 2004 : 15.50
    They should rename it Vortexas. Because it sucks.
    I'm so bloody witty.

    Ahem. So I go on about american drivers. In fairness, Canadian drivers have their moments.

  • "Ok, the light's turned green. That means that I should go. Now where did I put that accelerator? I had it a moment ago. Ah, ok, here we go."

    Yes, Canadian drivers aren't always that swift. But then we have the yankees.

  • "Aw hell y'all, now the laht's done turned green. Well plum shucks, whut's thayat in amurrican colours? Ahyuk. Now, duz green mean go here in Canadia? Well it means go in amurrica, and the amurrican way is the raht way, so I'm 'on go. Y'all."

    Of course, I can only guess what goes on in their heads.
    Thank goodness.

  • I still think it funny that system requirements are based upon colour.
    30 January 2003 : 14.05
    Having phone issues. It's losing signal, crashing and restarting, telling me that the system is busy when it's not.. apparently these are problems with a lot of the 8000 series Nokias. A friend of mine had an 8890, my 8290 was doing this, and another friend's 8390 had the exact same problems. Apparently, upgrading the firmware will solve the problem. At the moment I'm at 7.00, but I should be able to take my phone in to the Fido flagship store and have the firmware upgraded to 7.8. I hope so.. I don't want to change phones. My 8390 is perfect for me.

    And now a revealing look at the man the americans have as their leader. Keep in mind that he has a 50% approval rating.

    Meanwhile, Gates has said that spam will no longer be a problem within two years.
    I hope that he can do it, but I doubt it. Looking at the technology available, I just don't see a way to reliably filter spam without accidentally filtering a lot of other mail, too.
    We'll see what happens.

    Looking, once again, into buying a Mac. Once in a while I get all enthusiastic about the idea, and then I lose interest again. Maybe if I actually buy one I won't lose interest. We'll see about that, too.

    Give a man fire, and he is warm for a night.
    Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.

    Answers the question... 'Is our children learning?'
    29 January 2004 : 14.59
    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give him the address of your favourite all you can eat sushi place, and he'll eat like a king for $11.95.
    Yes it's profound. Shut your face.

    Updated McHappy Mail a bit.

    Did you Smack the Pingu? Stop it or you'll go blind.

    Read something disturbing today:
    But I also want you to know that something else drives me. And it's that my belief that freedom is not America's gift to the world, but freedom is the Almighty God's gift to each man and woman in this world. (Applause.) And it's the spread of freedom that will bring peace. Free societies are peaceful societies.

    And yet, we're running against a pretty strong current, because some in the world say that certain people, evidently, can't be self-governing and can't be free. That's not what Americans believe. We believe that people -- all people from all walks of life -- have got freedom indelibly etched in their heart. And I believe this nation has an obligation to lead the world to be more free and more peaceful.
    -bush's speech to the yankee mayors.

    That's bloody scary. I mean, think about it. Buddy here thinks that all freedom comes from his own particular god. He believes america that has a duty to spread freedom throughout the world. That means that he must feel the need to infect the rest of the world with christianity.
    america is being steered by a guy who believes that he's on a a mission from god. A missionary on a very grand scale indeed. Someone should tell him that the crusades are over, at this point.
    I wouldn't let this guy house-sit for me, let alone run my country.
    All of that while disregarding the fact that the guy who wants to lead the world to be more free and more peaceful is the guy who did everything in his power to start the last war so that he could occupy a sovereign nation.

    The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership. -Dubya, President of the World, White House, Oct. 28, 2003

    Beaming... down to love.. down to your love.
    28 January 2004 : 17.18
    Why did Shatner never cover One Night In Bangkok? I can almost hear it now..
    dear god, I can almost hear it now.

    Added another message to the hatemail archive. This one from a genius who said
    "If you hate America so much why dont you leave. but remember that if you move outside America you wont have the freedom to say the things your saying. only america has that freedom."

    [ ahem ] Really, what can I say to that?

    And now: Smack The Pingu

    Ladies and gentlemen, the sport tumblebug.
    24 January 2004 : 16.28
    I wonder how many pedophiles arrange to meet children online, only to discover that the person they're meeting is also a pedophile who was pretending to be a small child. And is it an uncomfortable moment when they both realise?
    "Hey, you're not.. Bobby?" "Uh.. Jenny?" "Oh man, how embarrassing."

    On a completely unrelated subject, I want an Embrio
    (What a smooth Segway. Huh? Segway? Segue? Oh, please yourselves.)

    The first thing I thought when I saw it was "That looks like a tumblebug!"
    Apparently I'm not the only one who thought that, either. Groovy.
    Just wait until the riceboys get hold of this..

    Something which I find highly spiffy, in a six dregrees kind of way, is that the Embrio is a product of Bombardier, who built a number of the Mark II SkyTrain cars for our public transit system.

    Major Dennis Bloodnok of the 56th heavy underwater artillery.
    24 January 2004 : 12.42
    "What are you doing up that tree?"
    "We are mountaineering on a rather tight budget."

    -The Moon Show

    If you don't know The Goon Show, it's a very odd radio comedy show from England in the fifties, starring Peter Sellers, Harry Secombe, and Spike Milligan. It was Python before there was Python.. brilliantly surreal, and very funny. Trouble is that most people don't have time for old radio shows these days. A pity, that.
    Goon links:
    The Goon Show Preservation Society (american)
    The Goon Show Preservation Society (english)
    The Goon Show Depository
    The Goon Show Site
    Great Lollops of splunge, it's...
    The BBC Goon Show Site

    Corporate Mofo
    22 January 2004 : 16.29
    Posted on Tue, Jan. 20, 2004 U.S. Rep Jerry Costello has called for impeachment hearings against U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney during Congress' session that begins today. - Bellville News-Democrat

    Woo! Most excellent.

    In other news, my daily spam is up to well over one hundred messages. The logical place to start looking is where my address is posted on my site, since though it is only visible to the browser as a graphic, I'm sure that the bots can read the address in the mailto link. So I'm going to try modifying the address to see whether it gets picked up by the spammers. That will give me an idea as to whether the site is the main cause of the distribution of my address. In addition, in an effort to curb the spam, I'll just stick a presidentbush into the domain of my email address in the link. So when you're sending me hatemail remember to remove the presidentbush.

    Also, Iceberg Radio is my friend. Makes the weekends pass so much more quickly at work.

    Llamas are still leet.

    for real, i could feel the dead weight of century upon century of pretentious, fear-founded tradition begin to settle like a mantle of... uhh... paraguayan Llama wool on my shoulders.
    22 January 2004 : 12.20
    Llamas are leet.

    It's a banana.
    21 January 2004 : 17.48
    I cooked last night.
    My house is still standing.
    I consider this a victory.

    bush in 30 seconds
    18 January 2004 : 13.29
    Last night I was driving home when I discovered to my horror that I had forgotten my MP3 CDs. This meant that I had to listen to... the radio!
    Apparently, my preferred alternative station has been hijacked by light jazz pirates, so that was out. Jazz I like, but not this stuff. So what else? Finally found Z95.3, which has been around for ages. One of the songs that they played was a sort of rappy thing, but for want of other idlement I let it go. At one point the guy is talking about getting a girl to his room, or her room, or someone's room. And then, not a word of a lie, he says "I'm about to take my key and stick it in the ignition."
    Wow. And they say romance is dead...
    17 January 2004 : 18.19
    There was a comic the other night who was making comparisons between Canada and america. He pointed out that we all do it, and that the comparisons start the moment you cross the border.
    Wow.. I don't remember putting snow tires on. What's with this road? These guys don't even know how to lay asphalt!
    Which is true.. american roads are rough.. like, really rough. And noisy. It's hard to talk, the roads are so loud.
    The comic went on about how the americans love to fight, and that it might stem from the american revolution. Whereas Canada gained independence through compromise.
    See John A. McDonald standing there, "What, all you want is the Queen's face on the money? You mind if we put a duck or something on the back? Well hell mister, you got yourself a deal."

    An exaggeration, of course, but essentially correct, for all of that. I suspect that less blood was spilt during our campaign for independence. I'm sure that billy american would be glad to know that his nation was independent, even though he's too dead to enjoy it. He's what we call a moron, particularly because there was a bloodless way to accomplish the same goals. But americans are a violent people. And I think that the manner in which each country gained independence from Britain both reflected the nature of the people who settled there, and set the tone for that country's future. The result is that we're peaceful and responsible, while america still seems to feel that the solution to any problem is to hit it.
    Oh, that's not all americans, but if you know that it's not you, then it's probably not you. If you want to hit me for saying such things, then it is you.

    Click for the Mark Spittle campaign ad.
    17 January 2004 : 14.40
    Yes, the Iraqi people are very happy to have the yankees there. They embrace the great plans that america has for their nation.
    fuck off.
    Oh, but at least the americans are doing it for all of the right reasons, right? At least they gave Hussein a chance to avoid war, since no one really wanted to fight, right? Again, verily I say unto thee: fuck off.

    And closer to home, bush has decided to take a shot at marriage counselling.
    And then there are the schools. Schwarzenegger's doing a Really Good Job, huh? Sorry, how much does the military get every single day?
    The country is falling apart. Sure, it's a military power, but for how long when the already low education standards are deteriorating so rapidly?
    International relations, rampant paranoia, massive environmental abuse, and financial disaster.. this government has such a great record so far. They'll probably be re-elected, too. How stupid are the people? That remains to be seen, but in spite of all of these things, the approval rating of the "president" of yankeeland is still over 50%. It climbed as high as 58% after Hussein was captured.
    It boggles my mind that the people can be so easily manipulated. I mean, they're unthinking sheep being led from one thought to another. Sadam is bad. Ok, Sadam is bad. We have ended the threat of Sadam! Yay! You're wonderful!
    Please. The threat was so incredibly invented, and yet still the mindless masses flock to the idea. Please mr bush, tell us what to think.
    It's pathetic. But at least it's only around 50%. It could be worse. I just hope that whoever is elected after this freak is incredibly competent, because they're going to have to bail pretty damned fast to stop the country from sinking.
    I'm not certain how I feel about that, to be honest. But even if america folds, the world will go on. So maybe it's not such a bad thing.
    At least the world will be a safer place without them.

    One thing that does suck, however, is this. I was planning to fly to america this year, but I really don't want to go through all of that. After all, I'm not a mind-washed little sheep who thinks that bush is good and everything else is baaad. That means that I'm obviously a terrorist.

    Follow the stories.

    I still feel sorry for bush. I still believe that he's very stupid, and being completely used by the people who really run the country, and that does not excuse his actions, but I feel sorry for him. His question about whether the rich really need more tax cuts suggests that underneath he might, just might be a fairly decent person, but because he's so simple he's been manipulated to believe that he's doing what's best. He should be put into a home where he can be properly looked after. Unfortunately, he's supposed to be running the country. But the guy I see up there is a child who has been misled and used, and will probably end up taking the fall for the actions of his puppetmasters.
    Poor little guy., daddio.
    15 January 2004 : 16.06
    In the garret of mischief the people settle
    the slithy toves The trees of life are dripping with
    blood-stained dew. but that's really not that bad. while my best lady's
    predisposed in the palace Out of the abdominal cavity, Am quick to proclaim
    a triumphant "Eureka!" my unyielding path is yet crossed by the
    lowly Moose of Failure. Oh, let us seek refuge in Antigua And quickly
    to go grab my scalpel (But first, stopped to take a like elvis in frozen suede shoes
    -The Beatnik Ramble
    It's a neat idea, actually. You give it a first line, and it generates beat poetry. And it's almost as bad as real beat poetry.. I love the idea of the lowly Moose of Failure. I can almost hear the bongos now. You can get some good first lines from here, if you're stuck.
    Other fun toys:
    the Goth Poem Generator
    the Heretical Rhyme Generator

    Going tonight to see my brother, who is headlining at a comedy club. Should be fun.. I haven't seen his act in ages, and he's a fountain of new material anyway, but he's had time to come up with a huge collection of stuff that I haven't yet heard. I'm looking forward to it.

    Come unto these yellow sands, And then take hands. Curtsied when you have and kissed, The wild waves whist, Foot it featly here and there; And, sweet sprites, the burden bear. Hark, hark! -The Tempest Act I, scene ii
    14 January 2003 : 17.28
    I went to see a show last night.. Shakespeare's As You Like It at Presentation House, modernised, and set in Whistler. Normally, I can't stand modernisations of Shakespeare, but this was really very good because all that it really involved was changing the clothes of the characters. Nothing was changed that affected the quality of the script, unlike with some modernisations I've seen.
    I can't stand it when directors get all artistic with Shakespeare. Some stuff is written that way, but not Shakespeare. He's brilliant as he is.. what makes directors think that they need to do all kinds of other nonsense? For example, one version of Hamlet which was done in Vancouver had the entire set made of chairs. Scene changes consisted of chairs being moved around to make different places, and then there was a ridiculous amount of struggling to get the point across. So much so that there were great spaces of dead air while they tried to physically demonstrate something that they didn't need to demonstrate in the first place. Oooh.. ahh.. very artistic. The audience hated it. Worse than that, they laughed derisively. It was Battlefield: Earth all over again.

    Anyway, the director of As You Like It seemed to understand most of the humour in the play.. too many directors think that Shakespeare has to be taken terribly seriously, and therefore miss the point of a lot of the bits. And missing the point suggests that they don't understand the words because there are some parts that you can't possibly misinterpret. Yes, some Shakespeare needs to be taken seriously, but there's a lot of comedy in Shakespeare.

    So yes, this was a very good show, and I enjoyed it a lot. One thing that the director did had the whole show come to a sharp halt ("All the world's a stage" ended with Jaques getting really angry: "sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything!!" Whoa. What was that about?), but then it picked up again very quickly. Indeed, Jaques was one of the most enjoyable characters in the show, not weighing it down as he so often does.
    If you're in a position to get to Presentation House, I definitely recommend this one.

    Colin Baker
    11 January 2004 : 18.36
    Last night I went to see another panto.. one that I wasn't in. Cinderella, it was.
    It's difficult to describe with any degree of accuracy, but I'll do my best:
    That about sums it up, I think. It was terrible. The choreography was pointless and rigid, the acting clumsy and high school level (with one or two exceptions). The set design was unimaginative and the directing uninspired, the set decoration attrocious, the music dreadful both in selection and execution, and worst of all, the show broke with pantomime tradition in so many ways as to make it barely qualify.
    Put it this way: pantomime is comedy. I love to laugh. I think I smiled maybe twice during the show, and laughed once at an old gag that I had never heard before.
    Ugly step-sister one: [looking into hand mirror] Eek![showing mirror to sister] What's that?
    Ugly step-sister two: [looking] That's me.
    Ugly step-sister one: Thank god for that. I thought it was me.

    Good bit. One of the very few bright spots of the show.

    There were some good ideas. One bit, where Cinderella runs off stage, passing behind the clock and changing from ballgown into rags was very nicely conceived but very poorly executed.
    I mentioned that it broke with tradition. Traditionally there's a demon king who's on a mission to bugger up the life of the hero. No demon king in this show. No slapstick scene, which is another tradition. No real bad guy.. for some reason they wrote out the wicked stepmother who is, really, what Cinderella is all about.
    Another tradition in pantomime is that the demon king and faerie queen cannot cross the stage. Each has a side, and never crosses the centre line. There's a whole history behind that which I'm not going to go into, but the main thing is that the demon and faerie don't cross the stage.
    Except that last night the faerie was all over the place. During her song, her repetitive choreography took her from one side of the stage to the other a good ten times.

    So what? Why does it matter? Well, it's tradition. Mostly, I don't care about traditions. They either survive or they don't. But in the case of panto, it would be a real shame to see something so wonderful be lost. If you've never seen a traditional pantomime you're really missing out. It's truly delightful.. that's why people come back year after year, both to see the show and to be in it.
    And you might think that the worse the other pantomimes are, the happier I'd be, right? After all, they're in direct competition with my show. I should be happy when they suck.
    The trouble is that more than I want my shows to be successful, I want pantomime to survive. The problem, then, is that I'm certain that people are going to see what it's about, and going to see something really bad (like this train-wreck last night), and losing interest in the whole thing. Entertainment can only survive as long as people actually want it, and if they're turned off it by a bad experience..
    Put it this way. I have a friend who won't try sushi. She knows that I love it, and that just about all of my friends love it, but her first experience was with airline sushi. Same thing.
    Fortunately, my show did extremely well this year. Seriously.. after a light first week (with no real budget for advertising), we sold out every show. When we closed, we had a waiting list for tickets. We could have held over for a week and still been sold out.
    That gives me hope. :)
    11 January 2004 : 14.10
    You're still here. I know, I've been remiss in my updating duties, but I'm here now. We can work it out.

    So I had an argument the other day with a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong.. I admire vegetarians. I wish that I could give up meat. As it is, I have to put it out of my head that it was a living creature when I'm eating or I completely lose my appetite. I have to disassociate lamb, chicken, beef, etc, from the animal from which it came. That's why I've never had salmon head at the sushi place, for example. It's apparently very good, but when I'm eating nigiri it's just a block of food, essentially. It bears no resemblance to the creature from which it came, which makes it easy to forget that it was alive. Looking down at a fish head.. I just couldn't do it.
    The trouble is that I really like meat- including fish (I've never understood that whole "I'm a vegatarian but I eat fish" thing. I suppose that it comes from the believe that meat is bad for you. Part of my argument.) Meat is an excellent source of proteins, energy, etc. Of course I'm going to like it. I'm wired that way. You do the things that feel good, whether it's eating the right foods, or mating, or whatever because if you remove the intelligence from the equation, that's the only motivation you have.
    So I'm having this argument with this vegetarian, and she says "humans aren't even supposed to eat meat."
    Buh? Wha? I've heard that one before, but it staggers me that people can even try it. Hello? If humans weren't designed to eat meat, they wouldn't be able to digest it. They wouldn't secrete bile to break down fats because they wouldn't be consuming fats. They wouldn't have canine teeth like other omnivores, which are used for ripping meat from bone.
    Humans are not, of course, carnivorous. They're designed to eat pretty much whatever they can get their teeth on.. fruits, vegetables, grains, and the occasional animal. But the animal part is definitely there.
    Compare the wolf to the horse. One is a herbivore, a vegetarian, while the other is not. Whose teeth are most like those of the human? Yes, the human has grinding teeth, which means that the human eats vegetables, but the human also has canine teeth like the wolf, which suggests that it eats meat. The horse does not eat meat. The horse does not have canine teeth. End of argument.

    Just found this link, which carries on the discussion, in case anyone is interested.

    11 December 2003 : 12.09
    Badgers badgers badgers!

    A friend just sent the badgers URL to me. It's most excellent. And, of course, once you've seen the badgers, you have to see the extra special edition trailer for The Two Towers.
    Brilliant. :)

    Think you know your bible? Take the quizzes.
    09 December 2003 : 13.29
    "Because of his faith in Jesus, we know he's safe."

    You'd think that jesus would have done something to prevent him from being smashed by a car while eating lunch inside a restaurant, wouldn't you? It's amazing how people can even think such things.. here's a very nice person, very faithful to their god, etc etc, and god just lets him get croaked. What, god couldn't have suggested that he go to the washroom just before the car crashed through the window? In fact, god did absolutely nothing to protect this guy. So what the hell good is god, anyway? Oh, we know that this guy is safe. You know, now that he's dead and everything.
    08 December 2003 : 16.50
    Hm. This doesn't come as much of a surprise. Just add it to the stack of evidence.

    The show is going well.. it's the main reason that I haven't had time to update this site much recently. First audience tomorrow night. It's going to be a busy month. But that's ok.. it's well worth it. Ah, panto.

    04 December 2003 : 17.30
    Heh, the land of the free, they like to call themselves. But not the land of freedom of religion, it seems. Hardly surprising, is it?
    feh. All of these freedoms the yankees like to think that they have, and when it actually comes down to it, they're more restricted than most other first-world countries.

    And it shall be called...
    03 December 2003 : 16.52
    Wow.. closing in on opening night for the panto. This is going to be the best panto ever. I'm all excited. :)
    You should see my costume. I'm dead sexy.
    Ok, the costume's not that good. No costume could be that good. But it's gorgeous, anyway. Beautiful.

    There are many things which make me glad to be Canadian. This is one of them.

    " I speak of none other than the computer that is to come after me, " intoned Deep Thought, his voice regaining its accustomed declamatory tones. "A computer whose merest operational parameters I am not worthy to calculate - and yet I will design it for you. A computer which can calculate the Question to the Ultimate Answer, a computer of such infinite and subtle complexity that organic life itself shall form part of its operational matrix. And you yourselves shall take on new forms and go down into the computer to navigate its ten-million-year program! Yes! I shall design this computer for you. And I shall name it also unto you. And it shall be called...
    The Earth.

    Phouchg gaped at Deep Thought. " What a dull name, " he said...

    Serious storm happening outside. Hard rain, harder wind.

    Gah. I find few things as disgusting as the sound of people eating. Particularly crunchy things.. nuts, fresh fruit and vegetables, etc. Unfortunately, the manbudgie is really into fruits, nuts, and vegetables. Among other things. The manbudgie also doesn't seem to realise that you're supposed to keep your mouth shut when you eat. Consequently, he's delightful company, I'm sure you can imagine.

    Ok, so that will be three CDs. I'll just get the mortgage consultant for you and we can get your purchase started.
    03 December 2003 : 13.08
    The Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (SOCAN), in case you haven't heard, wants ISPs to start paying for the music being downloaded by their users. Their argument is that the ISP is allowing the user to acquire the music, and therefore the ISP should pay for it. Story here.

    Personally, I would like to liberally encourage SOCAN. I would like to liberally encourage them to fuck off.

    Here's a brief story from the Montreal Gazette, reproduced without permission:

    If somebody robs your store, and drives away in a Chevrolet, you should be able to sue General Motors. This is the absurd "logic" behind a case going to the Supreme Court today.

    The Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (SOCAN) is demanding the power to tax all of Canada's Internet service providers by as much as 10 per cent of their income, simply because some clients of those ISPs sometimes steal music by downloading.

    Of all the nerve! We hope the high court will reject this arrogant and ludicrous demand, which reached this level of our justice system only after a complicated 2002 decision by two out of three judges on a Federal Court panel, ruling on narrow and technical grounds.

    Royalty payments to many music performers have fallen lately, largely because of illegal downloading of tunes over the Internet. But the remedy is certainly not for SOCAN to seize - as they propose - as much as 10 per cent of ISPs' revenue.

    Just last week a campaign against piracy was launched by the Quebecor empire's music-store unit, Groupe Archambault, which has powerful allies in television and in Vidéotron, which provides Internet service as well as cable TV. Archambault plans an education campaign, legal action against downloaders, and also a legal downloading service based on Apple's clever iTunes model.

    The second element of that strategy, the punitive part, targets those who actually pirate music. The impudent SOCAN approach punishes every client of every ISP, including those who wouldn't even know how to steal music. Not only would Internet fees climb, for all users, but also forcing ISPs to monitor and censor use of their services would have a chilling effect on the whole Internet culture. It's unjust, it's unworkable, and it should be thrown out of court.

    © Copyright 2003 Montreal Gazette

    That's ridiculous. I mean, why not take it the rest of the way, and charge for any means that anyone has of acquiring music? That means radio stations and manufacturers, companies who have hold music on their phone systems, companies who manufacture CD players, tape decks, MP3 players.. hell, why stop there? Go after all of the companies who manufacture musical instruments, since people often play their favourite songs themselves without paying royalties.
    And let's not forget the companies who make speakers, amplifiers, sheet music, music stands, hearing aids, headphones.. wow, SOCAN could really make this a profitable venture.

    Morons. I have no objection to the levy that we already pay on recordable media. It means that I can download all of the free music I like knowing that compensation is being paid to the RIA.. um.. I mean the artists, of course. People complain about the levy, but think about it: I like a song. I can go to the record shop and buy a CD by that band for $18-$24 (or more, depending upon the band), and get a whole bunch of songs that I don't want, which works out, then, to $18-$24/song, or I can pay forty-something cents for a blank CD (including the levy), and legally download all of the music I like. One song from this band, one from that.. a CD full of songs that I like, and all for one low price of forty-something cents. And I still buy the CDs of artists I consider worth the $18-$24.

    To me, the levy is totally worth it. I wouldn't even object to the proposed increase (from twenty-one cents to fifty-nine cents per CD, etc), since that's still a small price to pay for legal free music. I mean really.. <$1 vs $18-$24? It's not higher math. But asking the ISP to pay is ridiculous. Even the levy is unfair, of course, since people who don't store music on CDs, for example, are still paying a levy, but at least it's not too much, and it's the only way that they can try to police copyright violation these days. But if the ISP has to pay, it will have to increase user fees, which is highly unfair to the users who don't download music.
    And from what I gather, that's the majority.
    I know. That surprises me, too.

    Status, Mr. Spock?
    02 December 2003 : 12.53
    This is silly.
    Much like Rumsfeld the rambler.
    Though Schwarzenegger's "I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman," takes some beating.

    Meanwhile, remember that I was saying that I didn't understand tattoos because they were too permanent, and I didn't understand how people knew that what they wanted now was something that they'd always want? Apparently, more and more people are discovering that maybe a permanent design wasn't such a good idea after all.

    It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a.. hang about a minute. Is this ironic? Cuz I don't wanna look stupid.
    01 December 2003 : 14.10
    Ahem: Hahahahahahahahaha!
    Yes, it will kill you. And people who think that it won't are morons.

    Speaking of scruffy, my headshot for the panto program.
    28 November 2003 : 14.15
    Uberpaki arrived and advised me that I look scruffy today. What he clearly fails to realise is that scruffy is the new suave.

    Yes it is. Shut up.

    Because I say so.

    Now, bahahahaha! Serves him right. Hunters are morons. Nasty, horrible people.

    There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information. The world isn't run by weapons anymore, or energy, or money. It's run by little ones and zeroes, little bits of data. It's all just electrons.
    27 November 2003 : 14.23
    Too many secrets.

    Meanwhile, I was just thinking hey, we don't have enough nuclear fallout on this little planet of ours. Not enough damage has been done with nuclear weapons, and really, it's time that this was corrected. Fortunately, dear bush is there.
    fucking mook.

    Where's ma damn data, biatch?
    27 November 2003 : 12.17
    I thought that we were escaping from the dark ages of political correctness and oversensitivity, but apparently not.
    Seriously, how pathetic is that? Just like this. How the fuck is a stuffed toy gorilla racist?

    It's ridiculous.. people looking for problems where they don't exist.

    So what do we use instead of master and slave when referring to, for example, storage devices like hard drives? Dominant/submissive? Bubba/Bitch? Maybe top/bottom? The Man/The oppressed brother? How about toby and massa, if people really want to be offended? It's all so bloody stupid.
    Next they'll be complaining about auto parts. Oh, we can't call it the "slave cylinder" because that's offensive.
    Once more I say unto thee: fuck off.

    "This is farking moronic. It's like people getting pissed off that there are more white than black piano keys."

    "I'll just call my master drive "america/europe" and my slave drive "africa" from now on.... "

    "OMG next thing you know 'Hard Drive' will be considered sexually suggestive and grounds for law suits."
    -posts on Fark

    And it only gets more stupid, the more news I read from america.

    Charlie says: survival of the fittest.
    25 November 2003 : 15.05
    Children are dying playing the blackout game.
    Some might call this Darwinism in action. What kind of people are these children going to grow up to be, if they're doing things like this at that age?
    Well, aside from stupid.

    One thing's certain.. we don't want them breeding.
    "The cretins cloning and feeding... and I don't even own a tv..."
    It's just a shame that the blackout game hadn't been around when bush was young. He seems like the sort to play it.

    I have this sudden urge to play StarCraft, or Warcraft III, and Jedi Outcast.
    I also have a serious headache, so I'd rather just go home and crawl into bed.

    For now, amuse yourself with this. My brother sent me the original email version years ago, but this version is more easily accessible.

    So many people died. And for what?
    23 November 2003 : 18.18
    Wow. I'm stunned that the americans could be so destructive, insensitive, uncaring, paranoid, and stupid that..

    oh wait. No I'm not.

    But at least, as we all know, it pays to be america's ally. Right?
    What does Britain get for taking a lengthy, moist rogering from bush? It's bad enough to not pay the prostitute, but to actually take her money when you've had your way...
    Serves blair bloody right for whoring out his country, but what about the people who will be affected if it happens?

    One thing is certain. If bush wins the 2004 election we're going to see a lot more american immigrants here in Canada before 2005, when the draft is supposed to go through. And who can blame them? We all want to live in a civilised country, don't we?
    The trouble is that there's still a lot of support for the current government. That's both a testament to the general ignorance of the people, and bad news for the rest of the world whether you're looking at it environmentally, economically, militarily...
    Of course, the way he's going, he'll probably kill the country in his next term, should there be one.

  • The Guardian
  • Toronto Star
  • the memory hole
  • Seattle Post-Intelligencer
  • mirror of the Google cache of the draft post

  • wow.. forty years.
    23 November 2003 : 14.48

    Perhaps today's User Friendly is a coincidence.

    21 November 2003 : 18.55
    Woo.. came up with a cool idea for a special effect for the panto using a special beam of highly focused light I refer to as a "laser"
    Using this "laser" I will create a cone of light through the smoke on the stage through which the monster will slowly and dramatically emerge for the final battle scene.

    In other news, and an even bigger woo:

    My brother is opening for Emo Philips!
    Yes I'm proud. What of it?

    Right, well, all of that enthusiasm has worn me out. I'm going back to bed.

    if you need me, just email.
    you know how to do that, don't you?
    just put your cursor here and click
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